I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown!!

[JanusAscending]

I'm shaking and angry and don't know what to do. I spoke to my Primary care Dr. tonight, at my visiting nurses suggestion. I had a lot of unanswered questions, that weren't getting answered by him. I tried to explain things to him and he just doesn't listen...or understand. I told him I was very angry at him, and that I thought it was his job to be the "conductor of the orchestra" ie all of the many referrals he's sent me on were to report back to him their findings and together they would come up with a plan of treatment. He has not been keeping up with all of the test results coming in, and I am left in the dark while I continue to get worse. When I spoke to him I got so upset I was in tears and had very little voice left. I told him I was very angry at him and couldn't talk anymore and hung up on him. He called me back and left me a message because I refused to answer the phone. He said "because you hung up on me, I want to see you in my office tomorrow, and if you can't get here I want you to call an ambulance and go to the ER, because you need to be seen." I'm not going to do either!!! All I want is some answers! Is that too much to ask??? I'm too upset to write more, but I swear....I've had about all I can take. I've taken my sleep sedatives for the night and I'm calling the VNA tomorrow to have someone come out to see me.

[southerncrone]

1. JA, I can understand your being upset, but

I think you should take his advice & go to his office. Obviously he realizes after your outburst that he HAS fallen down on the job & probably looked over your chart & the reports from the specialists. If you want help, why are you not connecting w/him? Or go to the ER if he has advised it? Is this behavior in your best interest? Shutting him out at this point does not hurt HIM, only YOU.


Ask yourself: "Do I really want to find out what this is? Or is NOT KNOWING serving a need that I have. Am I afraid to know?"

I don't mean to sound harsh, and I know you have been through a lot w/this & probably are on a lot of meds, but sometimes it is the spiritual illness that manifests itself in our bodies & we must ask ourselves the hard questions.

Blessings, & here's to tomorrow & a calmer, more rational you. Sending you love & light. Sweet dreams.
sc
:hug:

[JanusAscending]

2. Please read my post on the health forum.

I don't feel I'm being irrational. I've got a right to be angry. I may have it all wrong, but I'm tired of being left in the dark, and them letting me "slip through the cracks"!

[elleng]

3. You are quite correct, JA; being one's own advocate in such matters is not easy.

It is, in fact, his job to do as you've stated, coordinate your treatment from each of the specialists you've seen.

Do go, see him, and cross-examine him to your satisfaction.

:hug:


edit: I defer to Warpy's response, at Health. However, my personal (recent) experience suggests that one's primary can, and sometimes does, oversee the work of 'specialists.' Mine asked for 'report' from specialist, and 'wondered' how the recommendation would work. That's pending, and the players are changing, as I've moved, have just adopted a new 'primary,' and former doc is closing her practice. SO, I'll see.

When mother was ill, in Fla, and I 'visited' for 6 months, her primary was comfortable overseeing/consulting.

[Shallah Kali]

4. I am sorry you are having to deal with this on top of your illness

It is hard enough to deal with things without having to struggle to get your doctors to tell you what the heck is going on :(

:hug:

[FirstLight]

5. I have been there...

so frustrated that the hospital people are about to call security on you because the Dr. says yu are suffering from depression and it's fucking strep throat and they won't listen!

I send you peace & love and light and healing JA, may you feel like you have clarity in the morning...

Be careful, you don't want them sending the men in little white coats after you. If you have to, take the scrip they will give you, and go to the local health store and see what natural stuff they have, that's where i always end up, back at the "home office"

love you :hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

6. Can someone go with you to the doctor?

The word "advocate" is very much in my awareness the last week.

You have every right to be pissed and frustrated!!!

I've arranged for someone to accompany my mom (in Alabama) to her next visit, as I sense the same "falling down on the job" and not overseeing things properly as you're experiencing with your PCP.

We often need someone to join us and be advocates, especially in matters of healthcare, as frustrating as that is.

Be pissed, JA. Maybe that will spur the doc to do what needs to be done and make your case more of a priority.

Maybe someone with the VNA can accompany you?

Sending huge hugs of support your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[get the red out]

7. Go but not alone

You have every right to be angry. I have seen the same disconnect with doctors concering so many loved ones it's shameful. Take someone with you to help advocate for you, but do go because at least you stand some chance of getting answers. I have had good practice in getting very stern with medical people while advocating for others this past year, and I am naturally pretty meek with strangers, but it had to be done so I did it. Sad comment that it often takes more than just the patient to get answers, but it does.

[OneGrassRoot]

8. Well said. +1000!!!! n/t

[I Have A Dream]

9. ...

:loveya:

:hug:

:grouphug:

[MorningGlow]

10. Been there, too

I know how you feel, JA. :hug: :hug: :hug:

My advice echoes others' on this thread--see your doctor and explain yourself, because if you shut him off, he'll think you really have lost your mind, and then come the men in the white coats.

The main thing I learned when trying to get treatment for my thyroid: DO NOT CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR DOCTOR. EVER. No matter how bad you feel. If you do, they will label you "depressed" and start prescribing antidepressants. While antidepressants have their place, this is not one of them. Too many doctors decide that if you're upset, it's not because you don't feel well physically, but because you're off your rocker. And all they want is for you to be quiet and go away. And then you don't get the treatment you need to heal physically.

My mom has a useless PCP. He runs blood tests, and when nothing turns up there, he shrugs and tells her "Well, you're old--you should be grateful to still be alive" or some equivalent. She has a bit of blockage in her heart (she's had it for decades) and so sees a cardiologist occasionally. So she's going to see him again to make sure it's not her heart making her feel bad. She's making the appointment with the cardiologist, and she follows up with him after her appointment and any tests he orders. That's really the way you have to do it, these days.

Basically, "you have to be your own advocate". It's a pain, but you cannot trust your PCP or ANY doctor to do the right thing without riding herd on them yourself, mainly because they are overworked. I blame the HMOs that require them to see a ridiculous number of patients per day just to keep their heads above water. The system truly sucks, but that's another conversation. What you need to do right now is check with your specialists yourself and see what's going on. Skip the PCP; he may get a copy of your test results and may someday put all the pieces together, but don't sit around waiting for that to happen. You're in charge of your own health.

You can do it, JA. We're all pulling for you. :grouphug:

[JanusAscending]

17. To put you all at ease, I went via EMT's to the emergency room this AM.

When I phoned in my vitals this morning, my heart rate resting was 115, my pulse ox was 88, and my BP was 85/57. When the VNA read my results, they called me and I asked them to send an ambulance. They kept me in a room (no waiting!) and did an EKG, blood work and hooked up the IV line for fluids. They even gave me lunch because I hadn't had anything but juice for breakfast. I was dehydrated again and my electrolytes were screwed up. I was there from 11AM until I was driven home by ambulance at around 4:30. I'm feeling much better now, and calmer. Kirstie is the one who is pissed now. She's ready for a confrontation but she wants to threaten malpractice and I can't allow that YET! don't worry about the WHITE COATS! I've got that covered. The social worker sent a psych counselor for a home visit with me when I was released from the hospital last time. My VN has a copy of what she wrote on her computer, and I've requested a printed copy of it. My nurse said there was nothing at all negative in it, and couldn't say much more because my homemaker was here at the time. I'll have that for proof that I'm not really all that crazy...I just act that way sometimes. I'm already on anti anxiety meds...no shame in that...Lord knows I need them!! I quit smoking didn't I. I was really ready to start again last night If I'da had em I'da smoked em!:crazy: :silly: But I'm still PISSED! LUV YA!

[Howler]

11. I am so sorry Janus Ascending.

I am going to set up a crystal grid for you.
I'm clearing them right now but i will send energy just the same till they are cleared.

Hang in there!!!!

[JanusAscending]

22. Thank you!

Bless you, I'll gladly take all the help I can get. I have experienced the power of being "zapped" from others on this thread, and I know it works! I don't know what I'd do without you guys...you are my support system!

[Kookaburra]

12. Would it be possible for you to change doctors?

Not sure if you live in an area that is saturated with them (like where I live), or if he's one of a very few. If you're able to change, and feel okay about it, it might be worth considering.

Meanwhile, sending you light and love and calming energy.

And a great big :hug:

[JanusAscending]

16. None of the Dr's. in my area are taking on new Medicare patients

Now that I'm on Medicaid, and have title 19, I can't take the chance of changing at this point. Believe it or not, my Dr. is an excellent PCP. He is widely respected by every other Dr. I've ever spoken to about him. This is the problem. In my little town, almost everyone in town goes to him, and is extremely busy. You may be in his office with an appt. and be there for hours! He also takes walk in when possible. I found out something very impressive about him from a Dr. he referred me to. He was born in Lebanon. He won a full scholarship to a Greek Medical school, and had to learn the language of Greek, all while attending the school and graduating at the top of his class! I've gotten so angry with him, as has my daughter, in the past that I wished I could find another to take me on as a patient, but without him, I have no one to prescribe for me my many meds!! I am caught between a rock and a hard place.

[BanzaiBonnie]

13. Thinking of you today JA

Holding you softly in the light.

[OneGrassRoot]

14. Is it possible for your daughter to join you on a visit via speakerphone?

Hopefully she is feeling much better these days (I know worrying about her adds to your stress...:hug:).

I ask this because it's a strategy I just came up with today regarding my mom. I can't physically be at every appointment (she's in a different state -- in more ways than one! :rofl:), but I can arrange to have the doctor -- during the consultation phase -- have me connected via speakerphone.

This plan made my mom feel much better.

:hug:

[MagickMuffin]

15. I think you NEED to become PROACTIVE and not REACTIVE

Being reactive is not good for you health wise or for your Spirit. So, with that said you need to take notes on each and every visit, phone call, or any other ways you communicate with him. Log it down with times and dates. This could help you to track what is taking place with your health concerns. It should also provide peace of mind.

Another valuable lesson I learned this past weekend was this: Take 7 deep breaths, relax and hold this person in the White Light, bathe him in this Light and ask your Master Within to forgive your doctor for his negligence. Continue taking deep breaths and relaxing until you feel calm and strengthened by this White Light. Then bathe yourself in this Light and ask your Master to forgive yourself as well. With the Power of Forgiveness, we allow the Cosmic to heal the struggles we experience with humanity.

It's never easy to ask to forgive people including ourselves, but it has a profound benefit for ALL those around us.


Peace to you JA. I hope my offer of advice will give you the courage to at least try the exercise.


:hug:

PS: the other advice here is also worthy advice.

[JanusAscending]

18. Thanks MM,

I'll try it...however as many of you know I am very pro active in my health care. I cross all the t's and dot all the i's . Don't get me wrong, I really love my Dr., but I really loved my husband and children too. That doesn't keep me from getting totally exasperated with them at times, and very angry! I do everything he's asked of me, and still feel like I'm fighting this fight alone. I have no qualms about arguing with him, but sometimes he acts like he's "myopic" He knows me well, and knows that when I get so frustrated that I break down in tears, I really am angry and need some "chemical" assistance. When I lost one of my babies on my return visit to my OBGYN I couldn't talk without crying, and he put me on anti depressants. I NEEDED them, until I didn't any more.:shrug: :loveya:

[Why Syzygy]

19. Call them all

as your health allows and while you are hydrated call the office of each doctor you have seen.

Ask them:
What is my diagnosis?
What is the treatment protocol?
What is my prognosis?

Write it all down. All doctors have protocols. They have to have a diagnosis to choose the protocol. They have some expectation of the results of that protocol. If they tell you they don't know, ask them who will.

JA - A while back I suggested raw apple cider vinegar. It keeps coming to my mind for you. It has the mother in it and is not distilled and jacked around with like the 'commercial' vinegars.

Do you know this web site >
http://www.bragg.com/

Here's another >
http://www.earthclinic.com/Remedies/acvinegar.html

Even so, home remedies aren't going to change the need to get that information from the doctors! You can do it.

edit: Are you taking any kind of electrolyte drinks at home? Pedialite or Gatorade?

[JanusAscending]

21. I have tried pedialite and it seemed to help.

I was fortunate that the local market that delivers groceries to Seniors had some in stock, and while my PT who suggested it was here in my home, I ordered it at her suggestion. I was having leg cramps in my bad leg at the time. I found it a little expensive ($8.++) for a bottle of grape flavored. I'm ordering a grocery delivery tomorrow and I'm going to try the gator aid this time. She said it's cheaper. I am going to follow your advice this week as I feel up to it (or as my voice will allow). I'm going one step further and asking for them to send me my records of my visits and their findings. I'll have to start with my adorable Rheumatologist who is too far away for me to keep seeing. I not only need them for myself, but have them sent to the next one I'll be seeing who is much closer to me. Funny thing is, I had an appt. set up to see the one closer to me, and his office had to cancel the appt. because he had hip surgery and tried to return to work too soon, much to his detriment. My Dr. didn't want me to wait so he referred me to the one I really like!!! They are far and few between in my area. I think there are only 5 in all of my county!! There's a specialty my grandson should go into, but he's more into Dr.'s without borders. Of course this may change as he's only going into his Jr. year at UConn. (pre med)

[Why Syzygy]

23. You have

a house full of advocates, many of whom are digital. I know what it is like to be single and sick with no one to take care of you. No pampering. But the goal remains the same. Get your health restored and get back into a life you love. You know I'm always on your side, Janus.

Gatoraide will be good. EMTs suggested I mix it 1/2 with water for better absorption. Dehydration is a serious condition all by itself.

[JanusAscending]

24. Thanks! Got some delivered today.

I will try it with my ice water. It's amazing...the same size bottle as the pedialite and 1/8th the cost!! It's been said that the "squeaky wheel gets the oil" and today that proved to be true. I got the call from the back surgeon's office today, and have an appt. for Sept. 8th(just a preliminary visit to go over all my history etc.) and perhaps as soon as the next day I could have the procedure done. I called my other Dr. about my "thrush problem" and he is sending me the notes that he sent to my PCP. Evidently I "misunderstood" his directions, and he called me tonight personally to make sure I understand them and wants all my other Dr.'s to keep him informed of my treatments! Maybe I can make him my new PCP!! The universe was looking out for me today because I found out that my homemaker goes to the same town to see her Dr.'s and is willing to take me there for future appts. if I can schedule them for the days that she works for me!!I was supposed to be taking the same liquid med for thrush that I had tried before, but instead of gargling and swishing and spitting, he wants me to swallow it. He says that the yeast infection had gone deeper into my throat and now in my stomach. This is probably why I got some of my taste back...but not all. Foods that I love don't taste "right" so I don't eat, therefore the weight loss that they are now getting concerned about. Five lbs. down just this past week! So here's hoping for feeling better soon, 'cause right now I still feel weak and "yucky". At least the candida hasn't gotten into my bloodstream yet....according to the last blood culture they did.

[OneGrassRoot]

25. You go, Squeaky Wheel!!

;)

I want you to know you're inspiring my mom; I'm sharing your journey, and I thank you so much for that.

While I am so sorry you still feel yucky and PRAY this passes soon -- LIKE NOW!!! -- I'm so glad you're getting a response and things are moving forward toward your wellness.

:loveya:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[JanusAscending]

26. LUV YA Darlin'!

I'm glad your using me for your Mom's benefit, because that has been my fervant prayer "USE ME LORD!!" Give her my best...always. This journey may be rough, but just think of the destination, no matter what your belief system is. Life is worth fighting for, especially for a "nosy" Capricorn who can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!!! LOL

[OneGrassRoot]

27. LOL! I'm hearing that "nosey" word a lot lately...

and I love it! I'm a nosey Virgo. ;)

It may be a Pittsburgh thing, but I (affectionately) call nosey people "nebshits."

I call Mark a nebshit nearly every day!

:rofl:

:hug:

[MagickMuffin]

20. I understand your frustration

I've seen how the docs treated my MIL. They were in and out of there if not really addressing her concerns. Another reason why our "health-care system" is dead wrong in its approach to serving the patients needs. It can be a hair-pulling experience. And it is harrowing to say the least.

But just remember that the Universal Force of Love is there for you. You just have to remember to tap into the resources available. It's easy to forget believe me as I still struggle to remember this as well.

Good Luck, and yes indeed hold your doc accountable for his lack of concern.


:loveya: