"Remove me from your rooster"!

[TZ]

I found this in the lounge of all places and thought y'all would get a kick out of it.More proof that fundies can be hilariously stupid...
http://www.bidstrup.com/flames.htm

[YankeyMCC]

1. I don't need proof

I have faith :)

[DavidDvorkin]

2. Wow!

I get hate mail because of some essays on my site, having to do with religion and politics, but nothing like that.

[salvorhardin]

3. "I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[onager]

4. "Check the following versus of scripture...

...Genises, Romens, Leviticals, and Profits."

:rofl:

No atheist could possibly screw up the books of the Buy-bull THAT badly. And of course, there IS no book of "Profits" or "Prophets," I guess he meant. Each prophet has his own book, and there are yer Major Prophets and yer Minor Prophets. Now I'll be up all night wondering about the Prophet Farm System and how a prophet moved from the Minor to the Major Prophetical Leagues. Good thing I'm easily amused.

Truly, that stuff is worthy of inclusion on FSTDT. There is no higher honor!

[progressoid]

7. "My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son."

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Warpy]

5. I worked in a state nuthouse in the south in the 60s

where people who got direct messages from god were sent instead of getting put into high office by rich daddies.

I never heard anything nearly that nuts from any of the patients, not even the crazies right off the street who hadn't had that first dose of Thorazine.

[Kolesar]

9. At once this is like Art Linkletter's "Kids say the darnedest things" and

...it is also "Slingblade".

[and-justice-for-all]

6. And we share the planet with those fuckers...

so much stupid in the world and all largely because of fucking religion!

[Warpy]

10. Well, to be perfectly fair, they'd be stuck on stupid

no matter what they claimed to be. Religion just makes them look ten times as silly to people who don't share it.

Nothing looks dumber than somebody else's religion. Add congenital stupidity to that and you have "Remove me from your rooster!"

[progressoid]

8. I never misused the bibel to justify my bigtry, I misused the bible...

"I have never misused the bibel to justify my bigtry, I misused the bible
to justify my opinion, as I do in my everyday life. Furthermoor my
credibility has been atact before you are not the first person to have good
cause."



Holy shit! :eyes:

edited to add: I'm sending these to an English teacher. Maybe she can use them as examples of how not to write!

[frogmarch]

11. Hilarious!

I've read that the book of Mark in the Bible was written by someone who was barely literate too. Figures.

[onager]

12. And Mark was the source for Matthew and Luke

So "barely literate" would explain a lot.

Among Bible scholars...at least the ones who irritate Xians...there seems to be a consensus that both Matthew and Luke thought they needed to "improve" on the Gospel of Mark.

For one thing, they had to show JC descended directly from King David. Otherwise no Messiah-hood.

As delighted non-believers have been pointing out for 2000 years now, they didn't co-ordinate their mark-ups, and wrote 2 completely different genealogies.

Xians have a bunch of creative ways to explain this, as you can often see in R&T. All of them are pretty silly.

I like to call Matthew the town drunk of evangelists. Like that loudmouth at your favorite bar, he just didn't know when to shut up. Or sort of like me. :-)

So he crammed in completely embarassing stuff like dead citizens of Jerusalem coming out of the grave and strolling around during Jebus' crucifixion.

The explanations for that in R&T are even sillier. They usually fall back on the "metaphor" dodge.

But that's a good one to drag out when they start trying to explain why JC is not mentioned in any contemporary writings. Not even a single letter from Jerusalem--a major trade center and provincial headquarters of the Roman empire with many literate people living in it. Dead people got up and walked around, and not a single person thought it was worth mentioning?

That miracle is a lot better than the loaves-and-fishes or water-into-wine stuff.

[frogmarch]

15. Your posts are always

informative and entertaining, onager, and I always look forward to them.

Considering the poor grammar and bad spelling Mark is said to have used in his gospel, and Matthew's bizarre account of dead people walking around during Jesus's crucifixion, I can't help but wonder if both of them were fairly young - kids - and maybe were apprentice scribes.

[Deep13]

13. What the hell is he doing "in" my rooster?

And if I get him out, is he going to get drunk and call my rooster at 3 a.m?

[Samurai_Writer]

14. "The Bible makes it clear that Jesus preferred straight men."

I'm laughing like crazy over this website. I guess Jesus liked to 'recruit' the straight men into his 'lifestyle' of wandering poverty.