British army vs. God. God loses.

[onager]

The Jewish God is a bit stern but can be won over with a nice cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel. Won't let Jews celebrate Christmas for some reason. According to the ultra-orthodox followers, he's not big on negotiating. Or on land transfers.

Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are just mad. Only in America! Unfortunately, they're over here as well...

Talking to Godot: Most practitioners of the above religions engage in some form of communication with their chosen deity, commonly known as 'prayer'.

Prayer takes many forms, from loud verbal masturbation in public (see also: Mosques, daily Mass) to quiet internal contemplation (see: Om).

A few claim that their deity answers back (notably Jesus Jim, T. Blair and George W Bush).

Remember that's literally, like telling them to do stuff... like invade Iraq. Steer clear of these types and hope they don't get into power... ooops!

http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/God

From the hilarious website of the ARmy Rumour SErvice, AARSE for short (of course). Run by present and former members of the British army.

I just wasted most of the day on this site, laughing my head off. And learning some valuable new British slang:

Pad Brat: Gobby, violent, ill-mannered, undomesticated, chocolate covered, feral, offspring of a soldier that dwell on the patch and hunt in packs.

Generally bloody horrible, being either spoilt and pompous (officer's kid) or violent and called Dwayne (soldier's kid)...

Your less discerning Squaddie will try and get into the knickers of the teenaged, nubile female variant of these - usually finding out too late that they are the daughters of the RSM, SSM or Provo Sgt.

Even as a clueless Yank, I get the drift on that one. The American equivalents: "Provo Sgt."--Provost Marshal, the military person who can put you in jail. And "RSM," Regimental Sergeant-Major, who can make you wish you were safely in jail.

And finally, from their definition of Tony Blair: May it also be noted that from a certain angle Tony Blair does, in fact, look very much similar to a pair of hairy testicles. This is presumably because he has spent the majority of his time with his head up George (the Wanker) Bush, and has evolved so to suit his environment better.

[cosmik debris]

1. Great web site, thanx. nt

[Warpy]

2. Now you've done it

I won't get a thing done today, not until I've read that whole site.

It's a find. Dammit.

[and-justice-for-all]

3. smashing read!! nt

[frogmarch]

4. haha...thanks! Funny site.

[trotsky]

5. Thank Koresh for the British wit.

Fantastic site. Thanks, onager!

[onager]

6. A little bit of a caveat

Glad everybody liked it. And I hate replying to my own post. But I thought I should warn everyone...

That's a wiki-type site open to editing by any member. I came across quite a few entries that many people will definitely find offensive--racist, sexist, etc.

Of course, I can be offended right here on DU...I'm looking at you, R&T. So I tend to enjoy the good stuff and try to ignore the bad.

Having said that, I stumbled across an old discussion thread on "domestic partnerships" in the British Army that sounded very familiar.

In fact, it sounds just like an American discussion of the topic, albeit with better spelling and grammar (sometimes).

Here are a few comments, link to the whole thread at the bottom. Posts are separated by the dashes:

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Mincers floating around the married quarters, what about when they have one of there poof parties, mincing about in there leather chaps, and gay biker tashs, i think it will put singlies off marrying just to get out the block thats for sure!! Next they will be wanting there own gay bars on the barracks, and walking about in pink uniforms!!

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Quit fantasizing or you'll be walking around with a raging hard on.

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Try explaining that one to your kids. "daddy, why do those two men/women live together?"

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If you can't manage that, perhaps you're not fit to be a parent. I imagine it would be about as difficult (or easy) as explaining to a child from a one-parent family, where his daddy or mummy is.

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Whatever your personal views, it's all about showing respect for your fellow man (and fellow soldier).

I, for example, regard the judeo-christian/muslim religions as an abomination, but I recognise and respect everyone's right to hold whatever religious beliefs they wish...

Incidentally, I do not regard myself as part of a 'lobby'. I'm just a soldier, who happens to be gay.

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Just out of interest...are you fairly 'open' about your sexuality (and how is it received where you work) or do you have to hide it because of the sort of prejudices spouted here?

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I don't make a secret of my sexuality, but I don't feel the need to let people know, unless I have to. There are so many questions in everyday life that do require you to be honest about your sexuality. Have you got a girlfriend? Are you married? Are you going to the pole dancing club later?

You can either spend your life waffling or just be honest. Frankly, in everyday life, I encounter very little of the ire I sometimes see on ARRSE regarding gay people. I would suggest most of the negative remarks come from the retired/older set. Younger people really don't seem to give the matter much thought. I'm not pretending the Army is the most gay-friendly environment, but, ultimately, you are judged on how well you do your job, which is how it should be.

Incidentally, before I came to terms with my own sexuality, I was always very careful to voice my disapproval of all things gay, when the subject arose in conversation. I'm not suggesting all those who condemn homosexulity are closet gays, but I think it's fair to say, repressed sexuality must account for a good proportion of them. The phrase, "Me thinks he doth protest too much", never rang truer.

http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=22519.html