The Renaissance Festival

[NashVegas]

I only spent a little while, did a quick walk through.

Oh, my head is spinning like the world and it's filled with beasts I've seen,




Let me put my bag down and I'll tell you it all right from the start,




Like the scarlet woman who would pick on the boys she thought were green,




And the two faced man who made a hobby of breaking his wife's heart.





I was in a land where men force women to hide their facial features,




And here in the west it's just the same but they're using make-up veils.








I have watched the manimals go by - buying shoes, buying sweets, buying knives.





I have watched the manimals and cried - buying time, buying ends to other peoples lives.





There may be no golden fleece, but human riches I'll release.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. I always wish those things would

have some malaria, bubonic plague, and typhus.

[HamstersFromHell]

3. LOL...you reminded me of this...

Found somewhere on the intertubes many years ago...

You know, I really like the Ren Fair. I love the romanticized view of what "medieval life" was like. I like seeing the costumes, I like the food and the games and the shops and the atmosphere. Ren Fair's aren't exactly re-enactments or reconstructions though. I've seen and heard about what some people would call "medieval re-enactments" and what I've seen isn't too far from what one would see at a Ren Fair. Obviously, people think that back in the 15th century, everyone was a knight or a princess. How lovely. Just for a giggle, I've decided to come up with an itinerary of a Real Medieval Re-enactment Day. Here goes:

-10,000 people are invited.
-Out of those people, a lottery will be drawn.
-8 people may be knights.
-1 person my be the local lord or baron
-2 blacksmiths
-1 one princess/baroness/lady
-everyone else is a peasant

ITINERARY:
5am: Wake up call. No showering!

530am: Breakfast time. Breakfast will be your choice of gruel and sour milk, or gruel and stagnant water.

6am: Break-your-back-farming time.

8am: The Get Raped By the Local Baron contest! Contest only open to females. Sorry guys! All interested parties please report to the "castle" and present yourself to the Baron. Winner will be chosen according to looks and hygene. Winner will be raped and beaten then may go back to farming.

10am: More farming

1045am: Gruesome Death Contest! All interested parties please report to appointed knight and prompty keel over and die horribly of plague, dysentary, gangrene, exposure, or starvation. Most colorful and imaginative death wins. All non interested parties please continue farming.

Noon: Lunch time! Menu will be your choice of gruel and beer, diseased chicken and beer, or dried oats and stagnant water.

1230pm: More farming

115pm: Another Get Raped By the Local Baron contest. All parties not interested please continue farming. Runner-up gets raped by a knight.

145pm: More farming

3pm: Tithe time! All present must give 90% of their harvest to local Baron. Anyone non-compliant will be tortured and killed and thier wife and daughter raped then sold into slavery.

330pm: Another Die a Horrible Death contest. All non-interested parties please continue farming.

430pm: More farming

6pm: Dinner time! Menu will be your choice of gruel, oats, burnt soup, rotten meat, or tainted lamb. Beverages will be your choice of beer, vinegar-wine, stagnant water, or sour milk.

630pm: Be Raped By a Knight AND the Baron contest! All interested parties please just remain in your houses. The knights will come and get you. All non-interested parties please go and bury your children who have died of disease and malnutrition during the day.

8pm: Chop wood.

9pm: Free time

905pm: Bed time.

Thank you all for participating in my Real Medieval Re-enactment Day! Hope to see you all next year! Well, at least the ones that lived.

[NashVegas]

5. Ow

The truth is brutal sometimes. At least there are plenty of crafters.

[NashVegas]

4. Well They Did Have Death

Who is actually a stand-up act with a puppet. I didn't make it over to that stage, though.

[HamstersFromHell]

6. Which Fest did you attend?

I used to go regularly to the TN Festival in Triune until I moved 2 years ago.

Miss "Smee & Blogg, the Singing Executioners", who quit coming when the festival lost it's "big field" to an Interstate project and moved to a hillside across the street.

But "Axel The Sot" was always there to entertain with bawdy songs and limericks.

[NashVegas]

7. That's the One

Axel is still there, as are the Washing Well Wenches.

[HamstersFromHell]

2. I'm not much on "participating" (as in costume and character), but...

they are fun things to wander through and take some photos. Nicely done!

[JeffR]

8. Very nice

The first of the dancer shots is a textbook example of when and why to throw focus out the window. A great photo.