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Edited on Sun Jun-26-05 10:31 AM by BerryBush
OK, so I read the changes to the KOEB thread from Friday, and I saw what you guys put on there.
gk, I'm afraid you have forgotten something VERY important to remember. The Countdown staff, not to mention Keith himself, surely do look at these threads. (Yes, they do, and I AM calling you Shirley.)
Fortunately I have managed to befriend one of them (what can I say, he loved my emails), and he tipped me off to the terrible, terrible inspiration you have provided to the staff. Look out--as soon as they get pictures of all of us, you're going to see THIS on your TV...
KEITH: So, the Michael Jackson trial has been over for a while now. And you're all thinking "Thank goodness, now Countdown will get back to the REAL news." Well...don't bet on it. After all, we know how much the quality of MSNBC's Full-Service News Broadcast of Record is enhanced by the presence of lovable puppet characters on sticks. Besides, by checking out the Democratic Underground Web site, we've already found ourselves a group of crazies every bit as circuslike as the gang in Santa Maria ever was. So, without further ado (drawing his face into stern, serious look), Countdown presents "Your Entertainment Dollars in Action"...KOEB Puppet Theatre.
(card appears reading "Countdown's KOEB Puppet Theatre"--theme music: The Doors, "People Are Strange")
BERRYBUSH PUPPET (in Keith's attempt at a squeaky high voice): Oh boy! It's Monday! I don't know HOW I survived a WHOLE WEEKEND without COUNTDOWN! Oh boy, KEITH better be on tonight! He better not be at another BASEBALL GAME! I'll be SOOO MAD!
REV. CHEESE PUPPET: You and me both, Berry! I don't even have any CHURCH MEETINGS tonight! He BETTER be here!...Hey, where's everyone else? Patsy? Where are you?
PATSY PUPPET (huge doobie sticking out of mouth, speaking very sloooowly): I'm here, you guys. What are you all so upset about?
BERRYBUSH PUPPET: Because we didn't get a Countdown newsletter today, and we don't know if KEITH will be on tonight! If he's not I'LL JUST DIE!
GKHOUSTON PUPPET: Jeez, people, will you just CHILL? I'm sure if Keith isn't on tonight he has a perfectly good excuse.
REV. CHEESE PUPPET: Yeah, like, "The first pitch goes out at 7:05 pm"????
GKHOUSTON PUPPET: Really! For shame!! You guys think so little of our Keith!
CC PUPPET: Hi everyone! (Many other puppets of various pets appear on sticks around CC puppet) I'm here with ALL my pets! Is Keith on tonight?
PATSY PUPPET: We don't know...Hang on, I gotta go to the kitchen...all of a sudden I got the munchies...
CLARK2008 PUPPET: Hi everyone! Is Keith bringing us the snark tonight? Is he gonna have Mary Carey again?
REV. CHEESE PUPPET: I don't know--I think the FIRST and SECOND time he "had" Mary Carey were probably plenty enough!
BERRYBUSH PUPPET: OK, that's it! (Spanks Rev. Cheese puppet)
REV. CHEESE PUPPET: Ow! Ow! Where's Sparky when you need him?
SPARKY PUPPET: At your service, Madame! (To BerryBush) Pardon me, Miss, but this is MY role!
BLEEVER PUPPET: And he's not kidding! Of course, I just like to watch.
BOTANY PUPPET: What's going on here? Isn't anyone watching Keith? He's been on for the past 15 minutes!
CLARK2008 PUPPET: Oh really? We haven't been paying any attention! We forgot!
CC PUPPET: Yeah! Besides, we thought YOU were Keith!
BOTANY PUPPET: Me? Keith? Of course not! Then again, I've been spending all my time staring at my picture of the lovely Stephanie...she WILL be mine...
KEITH PUPPET: "And just in case anyone in my AUDIENCE cared about actually WATCHING THE SHOW...we have FLASH NEWS...This just in...Karl Rove arrested in a raid at a gentlemen's club in Washington...wearing women's underwear! That story up next!" (Looks out at KOEB puppets, who are all making noise and scuffling with each other) Oh well...I TRIED!!!!!
(closing title and music)
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