You MIGHT be a redneck pedophile Republican Congressman if...

[LuckyTheDog]

More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed – while you are having sex with a teenage boy.

Your home has more miles on it than your car – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute" – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

Your favorite Christmas present, was a painting on black velvet – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You've been too drunk to fish – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You've ever used a weedeater indoors – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet teenage boys.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You've ever financed a tattoo – and you like to have sex with teenage boys. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road" – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle – and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

[Double T]

1. Is that the theme song from the movie 'DELIVERANCE' I hear.......

playing in the background???

[TwoHandedLayup]

2. Awesome

thanks. I guess you need to change it alleged alcoholic pedophile now.

[Brewman_Jax]

3. here's more...

if you have a front yard full of cars, and none of them start -– and you like to have sex with teenage boys.

[Sweet Freedom]

4. More

You don't let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the kitchen table in front of her children -- and you like to have sex with tennage boys.

Your mother doesn't ever take the cigarette out her mouth before telling the cops to kiss her ass -- and you like to have sex with tennage boys.

[npincus]

5. You take meetings at Chuck E. Cheese