Hastert's Memo To Clarify Common Congressional Terminology For House Pages

[kurth]

SPEAKER DENNIS HASTERT DISPATCHES EMERGENCY MEMO TO CLARIFY COMMON CONGRESSIONAL TERMINOLOGY FOR HOUSE PAGES
Formal Congressional Memorandum
FROM: Dennis Hastert, Speaker of the House
TO: All House Pages
PRIORITY: HIGH
RE: Intra-Congressional Miscommunications

In lieu of recent events, it is imperative that all pages be clear on their respective Representative's intent when communicating by e-mail, instant message or via traditional verbal form. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for inexperienced and highly-expendable teenagers to misinterpret the sometimes ambiguous codes and complex shorthand used by Congressmen since the time of our great forefathers.

Below you will find a list of commonly misunderstood phrases, accompanied by their literal meanings. Please commit these translations to memory, as any alternate interpretations from this point forward will be considered a mistake on the part of the page and may result in disciplinary action up to and including premature termination and/or spanking.

Message: "LOL"
Translation: I am laughing while I type at my computer. ...

http://whitehouse.org/news/2006/100106.asp

[myrna minx]

1. LOL. n/t

[BOSSHOG]

2. "Measure your Cock"

that's real ambiguous denny.

"I'm a republican congressman and I want to see you naked." More ambiguity denny. And thanks for giving the pages the information to figure out what these republican congressmen mean.

And don't forget that incredibly complex - "Meet me on free republic."

[Binka]

3. This Is A Direct Threat..."highly-expendable teenagers"

Again with the blame going toward the kids. These fucks don't and will NEVER get the personal responsibility. The GOP is full of perverts and NARCISSISTS!

[TahitiNut]

4. (It's satire.)

[Binka]

5. OK TN That Was A Four Snorter

Maybe FIVE!:hi: