Pick your favorite DU Mark Foley song parody!!

[MindPilot]

Poll question: Pick your favorite DU Mark Foley song parody!!

From the great minds think alike department: As it turns out, two of us rewrote Bob Seger’s Turn the Page. Now it’s time for the battle of song parodies, which one will be the chart-topper?

Blame the Page (To the tune of Turn the Page – Bob Seger) written & posted by SalmonChantedEvening

In a long line they’re forming, pundits of the right
To insure the story’s edited, so come election night
The party’s safely distanced from the scandal now an open sore

Oh Bill Clinton they are conjuring, the way they always do
Even though a 16 year old page, ain’t Monica Redux
They’re really only hoping this shit ain’t stuck to them too

(CH)
Now who to blame, where’s that list again
The Democrats, this sinful age
Alcohol, an abusive priest
Hey I know, blame the page

And by now it’s dawned on Hastert that, he will soon be rolled
His protection was the Boehner, that’ll cause his tent to fold
In the end he’ll know to coddle you was stupid a la mode

Most crimes crimes like this you have fought, or was it a sham
The committee you chaired, I hope they won’t be damned
Tied forever to a member and the pall cast by his scam

(CH)

Out yourself you think might be a winning card to play
Red meat for the uninformed, but still you run away
Because gay men, they love gay men, not in schoolyards do they play

After the excuses and the spin’s been put to bed
And you think responsibility’s been washed of your head
The emails and the messages scream the truth instead

(CH - repeat)



IM the Page (with apologies to Bob Seger) written & posted by MindPilot

In a long and boring caucus, covered on CSPAN
You can log on to the Internet and try to IM again
You can think about the intern, or the page you did before,
But your hands will soon be wandering, the way they always do.
When you’re stalkin’ sixteen year olds with nothing much to do
And you don’t feel much like drinkin’; you just hope the vote goes through.
So, here I am, on the floor again. There I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing R again.
There I go, IM the page.
Well you walk into the House, strung out from the booze,
You can feel the eyes upon you; you know you have to quit
You pretend it didn’t happen, but you’re just a hypocrite
Most times it’s Clinton’s fault, other times it’s gays.
The same old cliché that FOX News spins today
Democrats seem outnumbered; they don’t dare make a stand.
Here I am, on the floor again. There I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing R again.
There I go, IM the page.
Out here in the sunlight my façade just melts away,
Every new excuse, you try and get away,
As the sweat pours out your body like the speaker of the House.
Later in the evening as you get completely soused,
With the emails to the teenagers running through your head,
You blame your childhood trauma, but your career’s already dead
Now here I am, on the floor again. There I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing R again.
There I go, IM the page.
Here I am, on the floor again. There I am, up on the stage.
Ah here I go, playing R again.
There I go, there I go.

[Deep13]

1. "Fly Me to Uranus"?

[CrazyOrangeCat]

2. The Seger re-writes are great . . .

. . . but if I didn't have to walk out the door right now, there's always the ever-useful Zappa chestnut, "Fuck Yourself". Endless possibilities . . .

Rock on.

--Crazy Cat

[mikeytherat]

3. Here's my personal contribution - Only 16 (apologies to Dr. Hook)

Only 16

He was only sixteen, only sixteen
But I wanted him so
But he was too young to fall in love
And I was too drunk to know

We'd laugh and we'd sing, and do funny things
while our PC monitors would glow
But he was too young to fall in love
And I was too drunk to know

So why did I give my heart so fast, it never will happen again
But he was a mere child of sixteen - he's aged a year since then

He was only sixteen, only sixteen
Oooh with eyes that would glow
But he was too young to fall in love
And I was too drunk to know

So why did I give my heart so fast, it never will happen again
But he was a mere child of sixteen - hes aged a year since then

Now he was only sixteen, only sixteen
Oooh but I wanted that boy so
But he was too young to fall in love
And I was too drunk to know

Yes he was too young to fall in love
And I, I was too drunk, I was much too drunk to know

[MindPilot]

4. Very nice. Somewhere--probably near the end of the sidewalk,

Shel Silverstein is nodding with approval. (Although I don't know for sure if he wrote that one, but he wrote damn near everything Dr Hook ever released.)

(I did not know this, but I came across it while double-checking the correct spelling of his name. Shel Silverstein wrote A Boy Named Sue for Johnny Cash and one of his children's books--A Light in the Attic--spent some time on the Banned Books List.)

www.banned-width.com/shel/misc/faq.html#top