Dear Rush, I've been getting these pains around my rectum lately

[Jackpine Radical]

and I was wondering if you might be able to help me out here. I’m writing to you about this because I was so impressed by your ability to diagnose that rat Michael Fox and see right through his faked symptoms, and I know most doctors couldn’t do that.

I also know that you have a lot of personal experience with rectal pain, both from your own history of anal cysts and from your many years of being such a first-class pain in the ass.

My doctor won’t believe me about how much I am suffering from my problem, so I believe I’m going to have to take responsibility for my own treatment. This is also something I’m sure you understand from your own experience. So, what I was really wondering, Rush, was if you could give me a referral to a trustworthy supplier of painkillers in the Miami area. I’m thinking maybe Oxycontin.
Hopefully,
Your big fan
Jackpine

[KingFlorez]

1. LOL!

:spray: :spray: :spray: :spray:

[SoFlaJet]

2. he's up here

in Palm Beach County-you might have to use his pharmacist (former housekeeper Wilma) and the pharmacy at Belvedere and I-95-not Walgreens or CVS it's a Dennys parking lot

[shain from kane]

3. "Take 2 aspirin, and call me in the morning." n/t

[whistle]

4. Dear Jackpine:

I have found that Mazzola oil, french ticklers and a wooden plumbers plunger handle virguously applied in rotating thrusting motions helped my symptoms greatly. Adding large doses of oxycoton and viagara taken hourly also kept my mind focused away from the discomfort that my the anal cysts produced. And this was in the days before anyone ever knew of oxycoton and viagara, but I, el Rushbo, have always had friends inside the pharmaceutical community who were able to provide access to cuting edge drugs which were helpful for me.

I have said this on my show many times, and it bears repeating here, because I like you Jack. So read this carefully and several times if you need to.

Being stuck is a position few of us like. We want something new but cannot let go of the old - old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts. We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don't. In both cases we have to DO something.

My belief in that principle helped me with my anal cyst problem years ago and I have used that same set of principles to get me over many bumps along the rough road of life.

Let me know how this works for you and perhaps we could do one another some weekend if you are ever in South Florida. Forever on a Mission from God.

Warm fuzzies,


Rush "Dittos" Limbaugh

[Jackpine Radical]

5. Dear Rush,

I always figgered you were lurking around here, which is why I just posted on DU instead of snailmailing you. I really appreciate the advice, but I gotta say I feel a little uneasy about that reference to "cutting edge" while we were discussing things down there between the legs. Hope this doesn't make me sound like a perineum-oid or anything.