A most excellent diary from 4thepeople, click on link for full column.
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/2/8/23914/00990There were, roughly, 10,000 people in attendance at Mrs. King's funeral. Her funerary church was filled pretty much to capacity. But just who is it who comes to funerals, anyway? I'll tell you who comes. Family, friends, admirers, and people who come to pay their respects, in precisely that order of importance. So, who was there at the funeral of Mrs. Coretta Scott King? And why are the Republicans complaining?
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Nobody expects the admirers at a funeral to be grief-stricken. But they are the backbone of the celebratory part of funerals, especially at large funerals. They have enough emotional distance from the death that they are not unduly burdened by having to remember and to speak. In many, many funerals, it's not the immediate family, nor the very closest friends, but rather, the admirers who are the fluent and funny ones; they're the ones who can give the salty, the down-to-earth, the irreverent eulogic touches that humanize the dead and truly comfort the closest survivors.
Whatever else they do, the admirers at a funeral are there to enflesh the person who died. The job of admirers at a funeral is to bring the person back to life. Their job is to draw a connective thread from the death of a particular individual, to the lives of those who survive. If the deceased was a jokester, the admirers will repeat his jokes, both the kind that everyone there heard, and the ones people might not know. If the deceased was a cook, the admirers will recall the fallen souffles, the burnt roasts, and the spectacular desserts, both the memorable meals at which everyone was present, and the ones that the mourners might not have shared. If the deceased was a musician, the admirers will play his songs, both the songs that made the Top 40, and the ones that were never recorded. And if the deceased was a political activist, the admirers will recall the themes of that activism, the struggles, the disappointments, the triumphs, and the work that remains to be done. Mrs. King had lots of admirers.
Finally, there are those who show up just to pay their respects. The particular person who died often is not even the point of their attendance. People who show up to pay their respects are typically from the outermost circle of friends of the family, or they're workplace colleagues of a survivor, or they're people who have no direct connection to the family, but who are putting in an appearance because appearances matter, or because it's the decent thing to do, or because it's important to themselves, for whatever reason, to be seen. President and Mrs. Bush fall into this category, as do most of the contingent of politicians who showed up but were not asked to speak.
Now, in the wake of Mrs. King's funeral service, the Republicans and right-wing influenced MSM are complaining because people who came just to put in an appearance -- at a funeral, no less -- might have been offended by what they heard there! They are offended for President Bush as though Mrs. King's funeral was about President Bush! They are offended about mention of Katrina's wake as though her funeral was about Heckuva Job Brownie! They are offended about mention of the FBI's illegal spying on Dr. and Mrs. King as though mentioning the important events of the life of the deceased was, somehow, impolite! They are offended that allies of the deceased honored their alliance! They are offended that genuine affection for the deceased was given precedence over the feelings of people who showed up at the funeral of a person they didn't particularly know or didn't particularly like, which is, to put it bluntly, precisely what "making an appearance" is.
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