Don't Invite Me To Your Funeral!

[Hissyspit]

I am the angry intelligent reality-based American citizen.

Don't invite me to speak at your funeral, because I will rant and rave about the authoritarian anti-democracy monsters who are trying to make our country into a fascist corporatist theocracy!

Don't invite me to your wedding reception because I will get drunk and raise my voice about how treasonous it is to out a WMD-investigating CIA agent!

Don't invite me over to your house to play Scrabble because I will rant and rave about how I knew the levees in New Orleans broke hours before the freaking' "President" did!

Don't invite me to sight-see D.C. with you because I will wear this shirt in public:



Don't invite me to speak at a dinner in Washington D.C. because I will publicly demand impeachment!

Don't invite me to your State of the Union address because you will end up having to apologize to me for false arrest while a friend of Osama bin Laden's sits behind the "First Lady"!

Don't take a call from me on your radio show because I will call the "President" a liar. His most important duty is not to protect the American people, but to uphold and defend the Constitution!

Don't invite me to respond to your e-mail spam hate shit because I will quote Chomsky and Orwell and Herschberg and drive home the hypocrisy of the Neo-Con lunatics with FACTS!

Don't invite me on to your cable "news" punditry show because I will point out that the "Education President" is going to cut education 28% and is trying to cancel a ground-breaking life-saving pediatrics study (that we already spent $50 million to prepare for) because we have spent upward of HALF A TRILLION DOLLARS on an illegal, unprecedented, public-manipulating counter-productive, bin Laden-pleasing, multiple-amputee-producing LIE of a war!

Don't invite me to speak to your high-school students, because I will tell them the truth as I know it to be!

Don't invite me to the Grammies because I will say "Bring 'Em Home!"

Don't invite me to present at the Academy Awards because I will call the "President" exactly what he is - fictitious!

Don't invite me anywhere, because I can't be kept from "being rude" and TELLING THE TRUTH!

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Even though I've never met you...If I die, promise me you will

arrange and speak at my funeral. ;) :thumbsup:

[Maat]

2. I agree, Mrs. G.

I want my funeral to be an occasion in which the speakers spell out in no minute detail how corrupt the Junta currently in power is - please celebrate my life by articulating what I felt strongly.

[Hissyspit]

5. Aw, you'll be with us a LONG time to come, Mrs. G.

:)

[Stephanie]

3. You're invited to every event of mine!

Please do come, and bring a microphone.

[TahitiNut]

4. At my funeral, you're welcome to be a "Speaker For The Dead"!

:thumbsup:

[jillan]

6. Well Hissyspit - I think you have officially become

the speaker of all DUer's events.

[Lex]

7. Fabulous post!

:toast:

[Katherine Brengle]

8. AMEN! n/t

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. If the mourners (if any) DON'T rant at my funeral, I will haunt them.

[Hissyspit]

10. I want my body to be shot out of a cannon.

Just kidding. Want to be cremated.

[Carla in Ca]

11. You are welcome at my house anytime

I mean it...anytime!

[Hissyspit]

12. Thanks!

All I've ever seen of California is LAX.

[Carla in Ca]

13. Well, we spent the better part of this last week

with cold towels over our faces if we had to go outside due to the fire in east Orange but we are back to normal now. If you are ever visiting again, let me know, we have plenty of people here that could use a good rant! We'll start with the Halliburton employee across the street.;)