Cheney Accidentally Bags Lawyer Out Of Season

[chat_noir]

Washington, DC (APE) - Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride admitted to reporters that yesterday, while on a hunting trip with friends, Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a lawyer out of season. The group was quail hunting at the time, and the lawyer, Harry Whittington, 78, was an old Cheney friend and member of the hunting party. A Hospital physician stated that Whittington was just slightly stunned by the accident and the injuries were very much superficial.
The accident comes on the heels of the American Bar Association's this week pronouncing that the organization is officially against the White House's illegal domestic wiretapping program. Witnesses say that there may have been some words exchange between Cheney and Whittington earlier in the day over this very topic.

"There is just no way that anyone can construe this other than as an accidental shooting," stated spokeswoman McBride, "but that being said, both the president and vice president have stated openly and repeatedly that they have within their power the right to do anything, in order to preserve the safety and security of our country."

Game wardens on hand immediately checked the vice president's current hunting license and gun registration which seem to be in order. They did however point out that as of yesterday's date and time lawyers are strictly out of season and that in Texas there is no overlap between quail season and lawyer season. Authorities stated that they would further investigate any impropriety.

Whittington was fortunate in that an ambulance is always on hand with a full medical team in support of the vice president's fragile health. As a result he was rapidly cared for and transported to a local hospital. Game wardens, however, pointed out that it is illegal to hunt lawyers, even when in season, with ambulances as decoys.

Spokeswoman McBride stated that the vice president was very relieved that Whittington was okay and at this point would not alter any of his scheduled activities for tonight and tomorrow. The vice president is due in Austin, Texas to meet with the local NRA chapter and receive a lifetime safe hunters award tomorrow morning.

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=1498&catid=9

[file83]

1. LOL - that is the funniest subject line I've seen about this yet!

[NNadir]

2. Ambulances as decoys!

That's great.

The funniest of them all.

[chat_noir]

3. Harry Whittington, 78, was "doing fine." ...until Cheney shot him

Local attorney Harry Whittington, 78, was "doing fine." Photo courtesy of the Austin American-Statesman


http://www.news8austin.com/content/your_news/default.asp?ArID=155506

[npincus]

5. now he's a "HOLE" new man... full of holes, that is!

[DoYouEverWonder]

4. Ding, ding, ding

We have a winner.

[ContraBass Black]

6. Is this a serious article?

"There is just no way that anyone can construe this other than as an accidental shooting," stated spokeswoman McBride, "but that being said, both the president and vice president have stated openly and repeatedly that they have within their power the right to do anything, in order to preserve the safety and security of our country."


Serously, that sounds like something out of the Onion.

[jimshoes]

9. No, the site

even has a disclaimer after the article. Just a site for satire and news story parodies.

[chat_noir]

10. Contessa, look at the site where this article was posted

:rofl: :rofl:

[ContraBass Black]

11. Serves me right for not following the link.

:P

[mtnsnake]

16. Does the bear shit in the woods? Check it out.....

http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2006-02-12-cheney-hunting_x.htm

[chat_noir]

7. Whoops! Cheney accidentally shoots hunting buddy - actual headline

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3571110a12,00.html

[lovuian]

8. Safe Hunters award OMG!!! and was Dick drinking???

while bagging his lawyer!!!

[Jackpine Radical]

12. This is a bogus article. Texas doesn't have a closed season on lawyers.

[LynnTheDem]

13. "within their power the right to do anything"

Now see I just can't find that in the US Constitution...

[chat_noir]

14. DICK CHENEY IS A THREAT TO GUN OWNERS

That's an article that's waiting to be written. :evilgrin:

[Road Scholar]

15. A very good Point. It should be promoted.

[Justice Is Comin]

17. Not even

Gerald Ford shot anybody.

[Sydnie]

18. ROFL!!!

True 'dat!

[punpirate]

19. Nope, true enough...

... although, as I recall, Ford's choice of weapons were golf clubs, not guns, and he did hit someone with a golf shot during his tenure in the WH. :)

[chat_noir]

20. Canada got in on the fun, too. Check out this headline.

Cheney steps up war on lawyers



http://www.canada.com/national/nationalpost/news/cnspolitics/story.html?id=3b6b5742-ef8d-4cdd-851d-962be9e82123

[maddezmom]

21. LOL

:D

[benEzra]

22. Hilarious (n/t)

[Coexist]

23. LOL!

[mcscajun]

24. "...and one of the hunters wasn't insured."

"The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,
And I say "There's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow."

Excerpt of "The Hunting Song" -- Tom Lehrer