HALLIBURTON WINS CONTRACT TO RECONSTRUCT CHENEY’S REPUTATION

[proud2BlibKansan]

At $42 Billion, Largest Contract of its Kind, Company Says

The Halliburton Company announced today that it had won a $42 billion no-bid contract from the U.S. government to reconstruct the reputation of Vice President Dick Cheney.

While Halliburton has been known for massive reconstruction projects in such war-torn nations as Iraq, the $42 billion contract represents the first time that the company has been employed to put its reconstruction expertise to work on one embattled human being.

At the White House, spokesman Scott McClellan defended the $42 billion price tag for the reconstruction effort, telling reporters, “Given how much work Dick Cheney’s reputation is going to take to rebuild, at the end of the day that $42 billion contract is going to look like a bargain.”

Mr. McClellan likened the state of Mr. Cheney’s reputation to conditions on the ground in Iraq, “only worse.”

more . . .
http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1324&srch=

[joemurphy]

1. Sure to be cost overruns, bribery, graft, questionable accounting

and incestuous double-dealing.

[Canuckistanian]

2. Ha Ha. Boy, is this one ever going to go into cost overruns

Why, the costs invovled in making Cheney look human are going to be humoungous.

[proud2BlibKansan]

3. Good one

[eppur_se_muova]

4. Was this another of those no-bid deals?

Maybe this time it's justified. Who else would want such a sleazy gig?

[gordontron]

5. I have just one thing to say...

:rofl:

[rodeodance]

6. te he. good one.

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. This Borowitz guy is hilarious

a friend just turned me on to him today.

[NV Whino]

7. Oh, I wish I hadn't read your headline

just as I was about to take a sip of wine.

:spray:

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. Sorry about your monitor