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... we won't be able to TAKE it back, but we'll be able to BUY it back on eBay:
FOR SALE - One Country - formerly known as the Good Ol' US of A a.k.a. "Cradle of Democracy", "Beacon of Freedom", etc.
CONTENTS INCLUDE - 300,000,000 citizens, most with a pissed-off attitude, military forces (more than SLIGHTLY used), Congress & Senate (handyman's special, need MAJOR repairs), polluted air/water, forests and national parks (what's left of them), one White House (requires lots of TLC, thorough airing-out), once-proud National Flag (presently in tatters).
PRESENT ABILITY TO GENERATE INCOME: (almost nil)
PRESENT LIABILITIES: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of debt (as of this printing), pending lawsuits re illegal wiretapping, unlawful detention of foreign personages, allegations of torture, murder, crimes against humanity, bribe-taking, illegal voting systems, etc. EXTRAS INCLUDE: Bridge-to-Nowhere (Alaska - pending), Diebold voting machines (usable, but not dependable), one Administration (useless, and TOTALLY not dependable), nation-wide wire-tapping system.
FIXTURES NOT INCLUDED: New Orleans & Environs, SIX major US ports, democracy, freedom, Constitution, Bill of Rights.
PRICE: Best offer - or FREE to Democrats (proof of SPINE required).
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