Ed Naha: 'The first annual M.F. awards'

[kliljedahl]

Posted on Saturday, December 31 @ 10:10:46 EST

With 2006 upon us, the voices in my head and I decided this would be the perfect time to study the behavior of politicians and pundits last year and inaugurate "The First Annual M.F. Awards." It's a contest of sorts wherein the person with the most awards gets crowned "M. F." of the year. Get your minds out of the gutter, dear readers (my own has dibs). I'm talking biggest Miserable Failure of The Year. So, let the AWARD ceremony begin.

THE "DUMB AND DUMBER" AWARD goes to George W. Bush for this gem: "The war in Iraq has been vary difficult. More difficult than expected." Two words: "General Shinsecki."

THE "BLIND MAN'S BLUFF" AWARD goes to George W. Bush (who's taking an early lead, here). When asked by NBC'S Brian Williams if BushCo. was wrong in expecting to be "welcomed as liberators" in Iraq, Bush opined. "I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." Shock and awe has a way of putting a damper on things, don't it?

<snip>

THE RIP VAN WINKLE AWARD goes to Senator John Kerry who, every so often, wakes up and says something relevant but in such long-winded, sonorous tones that he puts everyone else to sleep.

<snip>

THE MOST HACKNEYED PHRASE ABOUT IRAQ AWARD goes to George W. Bush who, every six minutes, says: "As Iraqis stand up, we will stand down." Great. War as "Simon Says." Next year? Look for Iran and Twister!

THE WORST PARADE EVER AWARD goes to Donald Rumsfeld for this creative idea: "Every year since the Sept. 11 attacks, Americans have commemorated that anniversary. This year the Department of Defense will initiate an 'American Supports You Freedom Walk.'" People had to sign up to get into the parade. Their credentials were checked upon arrival. They were given patriotic T-shirts if they passed muster. Unfortunately, not too many turned out for this festive event in the land of the free.

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Keith’s Barbeque Central

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Most Stupid/Cynical Remark award

goes to Bush for saying "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job" in regards to FEMA's handling of Katrina.

Total Denial Award goes to my conman, John Boozman, who wrote me a personal note in response to my critique of the Katrina response, assuring me he would make sure Congress investigates what went wrong with the local and state response to the disaster.

[sakabatou]

2. THE "BE NICE TO MOTHER NATURE" AWARD

goes to Rush Limbaugh, who summed up the Republican push to drill in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge thusly: "If you put together a video of ANWR, you would see nothing but snow and rock. It is no place anybody's ever going to go. The wildlife that lives there wishes it didn't, but it's too stupid to figure out how to move anywhere. They don't have moving vans sent to their places like people in Philadelphia do when they want to get out of someplace. This is absolutely absurd." Russ also cheered when Bambi's mother died.

[Jara sang]

3. Yeah, the Iraqi's tried for a long time to ignore the "unwanted guest"

[kliljedahl]

4. Kick

Keith’s Barbeque Central

[kliljedahl]

5. Sunday morning kick

Keith’s Barbeque Central