TYT: What Percentage of Married Couples Stay in Love?

[ihavenobias]

Run time: 02:23 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP8ZzOesHqc   Posted on YouTube: March 21, 2009 By YouTube Member: Views on YouTube: 0   Posted on DU: March 21, 2009 By DU Member: ihavenobias Views on DU: 2375

 


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[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. That's interesting...

And I believe it.

Passion by it's very nature is short-lived. Romantic love can indeed last, but it takes WORK.

Great clip.

[sam sarrha]

2. the "Half Life" of the chemical system that causes the "In Love" feeling is 18 months

[ihavenobias]

4. The 7 year itch.

According to Helen Fisher (author of Anatomy Of Love and much more), it's actually closer to a 5 year itch (not the initial dopamine rush, that's much more short lived). Then some of key neurochemicals change, or the response to them changes (receptor sites become less sensitive and or less numerous) and it really hits you around the 5 year mark.

I find this research to be fascinating, and somewhat depressing.

[pleah]

3. That is interesting.

I can only speak for me. We will have our 26th anniversary in a couple of months. We were together 4years before we got married. I still love him as much now as I did then, but, yeah, the "passion" isn't there like it used to be.

[OhioChick]

5. K&R

:kick:

[drmeow]

6. They are misrepresenting both

the study and the findings.

On the other hand, I personally think that the theory about love that Art Aron (the primary faculty member on the project) espouses is a load of crap - what he defines as love I would define as obsessive dependence and enmeshment.

[ihavenobias]

7. Do you have a link to the study?

I'm not saying your criticism is incorrect (I don't know either way), I'd just like to see or have you explain a little more.

:)

[drmeow]

8. You have to be an academic

at a university which has a subscription to access it or have a subscription to the journal - Review of General Psychology. I can only get it in pdf format by logging into my university's library website.

The point of the article is that it has been widely accepted that passionate (that "can't concentrate cause I'm in love" feeling) and romantic love (similar intensity but without the obsessiveness of passionate love) cannot be sustained and that long term relationships fade to something more like a companion or friendship-type love. TYT imply that either you feel romantic love or no love at all. This is a misrepresentation. No romantic love does not mean no love.

As for misrepresenting the study - it was not a study of people who had been married for 20 years. There was a range of relationship length within the sample plus the study conducted a meta-analysis of other existing studies which included a range of relationship lengths. Admittedly TYT are simply reflecting the misrepresentation of the article they used as a source - a common problem with science reporting, in particular psychological or behavioral medicine reporting.

As for Aron's work - we were in the same department so I'm pretty familiar with what he does. We have an academic theoretical disagreement which would take too long to explain.

[ihavenobias]

9. Well, to be fair

They've discussed on the show that there's a difference between romantic, dopamine driven love vs. the longer term bond (the bond Helen Fisher says may fade within a 5 year period).

But hey, if the source article was wrong...

At any rate, thanks for the comment.