The Snicker's commercial in and of itself was just silly

[BlackVelvet04]

but coupled with the stuff found on the internet puts a whole new light on it. Was it inappropriate? YES. Was it unacceptable? YES. BUT I really wish people would quit being "offended". Using the word offended gives the impression that one is emotionally hurt, angered or upset and I think that's giving way too much power to others. We are each responsible for our own feelings and others only have the power we give them.

As long as we give the power to others to hurt us, anger us or upset us we will be emotional basket cases. And quite frankly I see a lot of those on the internet message boards. We can take inappropriate and unacceptable behavior by others and let that propel us to action but it's not good to sit in our own emotional shit.

[Lex]

1. It's getting a little tiresome to hear others pontificate on how gay people

should think or feel or speak about the ad.

[bicentennial_baby]

5. that's one word for it

x(

I would call it fucking offensive, but then I'd get told to stop being offended and all that...

[treestar]

7. That one is getting tiring too

It is going both ways, the and "offender" may think they didn't intend to offend, and didn't really mean anything harmful or serious.

People are tired of walking on egg shells. Being a white, straight male leaves you with nothing to say, plus this attitude puts them in a club, where they can only talk to each other without fear of offending.

Nobody is saying don't feel offended, but this like all things will limit your life if you take offense at every possible time. Not that it should matter, I am a white woman and try very hard not to take things as put downs for being female. Even when they are intended I let a lot of it pass. You just can't expect people to be perfect. And if they are trying, it makes it even worse to crap on them for one mistake.

Imagine all the stuff we say about Chimpy. We could never get away with it if he weren't a straight, white man. Don't make people pause about having a president that is other than that, in that they will feel constrained to criticize any of his or her policies at the risk of being attacked as sexist, racist, etc.

[BlackVelvet04]

9. First of all I didn't use the words

should, need to, have to, got to. I expressed MY WISHES. I also didn't direct it to the gay community. Many straight people have expressed that they were offended by the commercial.

I'm sorry you took it so personally.

[madrchsod]

2. bottom line-will it sell more snickers?

i doubt it

[treestar]

8. Sometimes I wonder if companies like that don't even need ads

any more. No more Coke ads, what will happen to Coke sales? I suppose they need it to remind people there are Cokes as opposed to drinking something else, but that's it. By now there could hardly be a country or backwater on the planet where you can't get a coke.

[JackRiddler]

33. Oh without question!

Almost anything that makes people keep a brand name in mind ultimately serves to sell that brand. And it's no doubt good for the ad company: You win the Super Bowl ad contest by being the one everyone talks about the next day. You can be sure they'll be getting more business, even if clients tell them to be more careful.

Since they pulled it, the negative impact is going to be over in no time.

[myrna minx]

3. What would our GLBT brothers and sisters do without you telling

them how to feel? :sarcasm:
http://www.matthewsplace.com/

[BlackVelvet04]

11. I didn't tell them how to feel.

I expressed a wish that everyone would quit being offended (meaning hurt, angry) but instead would realize the inappropriateness of something and take appropriate actions.

[Maven]

16. We did recognize it, and we took action.

Sometimes you can't help being offended. I don't control my gut reactions with a gauge. If you can do that, I envy you.

[BlackVelvet04]

18. I can't always control my gut reaction but I try to control

how deeply I let something wound me. I've found that action helps me let go of anger and hurt.

Hell, I'm a southerner that has had to listen and see on t.v. slams, slurs and insults thrown at southerners for YEARS. I learned to not internalize it.

[Maven]

20. No one here was "wounded"

We were pissed. And we took action.

[BlackVelvet04]

23. I'm glad you took action....

but some people certainly sound "wounded" and hurt.

[Dora]

4. Many people don't respond well to uninvited emotional coaching.

Your post cracks me up.

[BlackVelvet04]

14. I'm glad to have provided some levity and laughter

in your life.

[ellenfl]

6. terra! terra! terra!

As long as we give the power to others to hurt us, anger us or upset us we will be emotional basket cases.

you forgot 'scare us'.

ellen fl

[racaulk]

10. And you felt the need to start your own thread for this?

Seriously, there are about 85 other threads floating around in GD on this exact same topic. Why the need to start another one? :shrug:

Your OP is grade-A flamebait.

[BlackVelvet04]

13. Oh, excuse me for actually starting a thread on DU.

Sorry you think it was flame bait.....but you did respond, didn't you?

[treestar]

15. I sympathize. I loathe that kind of response.

It's very sniperish, because a person truly not interested would just skip the thread entirely.

[treestar]

12. Every onee in a while we need a reminder of Eleanor Roosevelt's quote

The only one who can make you feel inferior is yourself.

[BlackVelvet04]

17. Thank you! n/t

[Lex]

29. Yes, Eleanor knew a little about others people acting superior in their beliefs

and would have none of it. I'm sure she got tired of other people telling her how she ought to act and feel.


BTW, she was a great champion of women's rights and no doubt would've been a champion of gay rights too had she been alive today.

The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

[youthere]

19. But people WERE emotionally hurt, angered, and upset by it.

that's just the point. Their outrage is all over GD and the rest of the internets.
It's not up to me or anyone else to tell someone what they should or should not be offended by. If someone says they were upset by the commercial then I believe them, and that should be respected. If they want to boycott Snickers or the Mars candy company, I'm not going to tell them they are being silly, or that they are overreacting. In fact, I applaud their passion and their conviction.

[BlackVelvet04]

22. I did NOT tell anyone what they should or should not do....

I expressed a wish. I still wish it. And I'm sorry that people were hurt, angered and upset. But what good does that do? What good to emotionally churn over something you have little control over? Why not at least try to take back one's own emotions as one's own and not allow others to control them? That's my wish for myself and others. It's no fun having your emotions being held hostage by uncaring, unfeeling corporations or people.

[youthere]

27. FWIW...

I wish that too.
But I'm glad to see that people turned their outrage to action. The ads got pulled..pretty quickly too I might add.
Just groaning and moaning about how bad something is(but not DOING anything about it) never accomplishes anything..except to create stomach acid.

[sandnsea]

21. I agree about the word 'offended'

Because the problem is that it's much more than just emotional offensiveness. It's setting out to intentionally ridicule a segment of society, it would be no different than if they had white people sneaking around eating watermelon so nobody would associate them with blacks. Wrong on so many levels. It's the kind of ridicule the right thrives on. Offensive just doesn't quite cover it, although I don't know what the right word is.

[BlackVelvet04]

24. The word

offended has become trivialized because of it's overuse. Sometimes people are merely irritated but as you said sometimes it goes much deeper. I don't know the right word either.

[sandnsea]

28. It's about the right's tactics

It's what they do, mocking, ridicule, humiliation. It's part of the abuse and oppression of people. Any abused woman or child knows that. That's why it's more and different than just being offended. It needs to be fleshed out, it's part of a bullying tyranical society. That's why it has to be confronted, it feeds an atmosphere where people become emboldened to act on their prejudices. It's way different than just 'offended'.

[trogdor]

25. It was a ripoff...

...of the first hotel scene in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

[cosmik debris]

26. Turn the damn thing OFF

Every TV has an OFF button. If you don't like what you see, turn the damn thing OFF. But don't whine and complain that every TV show and commercial won't kow-tow to your particular sensitivity.

If TV shows and commercials were made to prevent offending every one, TV would be so bland that no one would watch any way.

The cure for this problem is not making others obey your whims, but avoiding those who don't respect your whims. Turn the damn thing OFF!

[m_welby]

30. I'm with you !

I apparently missed something utterly unimportant in not seeing (or caring) about the commercials during the superbowl. Not being a football fan, I don't watch the superbowl. I certainly wouldn't watch it for the commercials, and I really don't know why anyone would.
I don't think I've seen a superbowl commercial ever, nor do I care to. Nor will I go out and watch one just because there's a 'controversy' about it. I don't know where everyone else has been, but I find most commercials offensive. Offensive to my intelligence, patience, and sensibilities. Really it's just an observation here, but when everyone is talking about a commercial then it WORKED!.
I'd rather turn the crap off and go DO something.

[LostinVA]

37. You totally don't get it n/t

[cosmik debris]

39. get over it n/t

[theboss]

31. Was the 40 Year Old Virgin offensive?

You know how I know you're gay?
How?
You like Coldplay.

[BlackVelvet04]

32. I didn't see the 40 Year Old Virgini....

the previews looked really stupid.

[LostinVA]

38. Yeah, and that was funny, I laughed at that

The snickers ad wasn't funny.

[theboss]

40. Which to me, is the issue

It was a poorly done ad. I think that if it had actually been, you know, funny, none of this would have happened.

[fishwax]

34. Giving power to others? Wrong. This was excercising power, not giving it away

Being offended and being broken down and immobilized by it is giving power to others.

But being offended and thus moved into action is an act of power, not of powerlessness. If those who were offended by the ad were giving power to others, then they wouldn't have gotten the ad yanked in record time.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

35. fine. I am outraged. how is that? FUCKING OUTRAGED!

i think homophobia kills. and needs to not be propogated.

[Midlodemocrat]

36. Your post offends me.

How's that? Guess what? YOU don't get to decide what is offensive to ANYONE other than yourself.

[distantearlywarning]

41. I don't agree.

You suggest that people should let the unacceptable behavior of others propel them to action.

Well, feelings prompt action. The only action in this world since the beginning of time has been taken by those who were offended, hurt, angered, upset, and outraged. Those who feel nothing do nothing. Experiencing and expressing emotions doesn't give power to the bad guys, doing nothing does.

I'm sick unto death of psycho-babble as a substitute for justice. Your post is just another way of telling a victim to "get over it". Some of us are not going to take that blame-the-victim-for-being-angry rubbish anymore.

Get off your therapist's couch and start standing up for the rights of your gay brothers and sisters. Instead of judging them for being offended, start judging the assholes who offend them. Instead of telling them to put their feelings aside, join with them and accept that their anger pushes them and others to work on the problem.

[Moderator]

42. locking....

This is flamebait.