Imagine if you will a network news program where the host believes that his obligation as a journalist is to place evil on the same footing as good (so that evil will stop complaining about how the media always favors good). Tonight on Media Twilight Zone, we will visit just such a program.
(snip)
Russert: Thanks again for joining us on Meet the Press. Now, I want to get back to Jesus
Christ–
Jesus: Thank you, Tim. As I was–
Russert: What do you say to those people who claim you’re a pedophile?
Jesus: What?!
Russert: I’d like to play a soundbite from — Jimmy, do we have that? I think it’s at Mark 10:14?
(JESUS ON MONITOR: “Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God.”)
Russert: Are those your words?
Jesus: Yes, but–
Russert: Now there are those who say you were clearly defending the North American Man-Boy Love Association with that statement.
Satan: Tim–
Jesus: No! Look, that was taken completely out of context!
Satan: Tim, the point is, liberals like Mr. Christ and the New York Times think we shouldn’t even be in Armageddon because we’re just there to defend Israel. That is a completely anti-Semitic attitude.
Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you’re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you’re an Anti-Semite?
Jesus: Well, first of all, I’d like to point out that I myself am Jewish–
Ann Coulter: Yeah! Just like George Soros. Another Jew who somehow figured out a way to avoid crucifixion.
Jesus: I WAS crucified! (DISPLAYS WOUNDS IN HANDS)
Michelle Malkin: Why don’t people ask him more specific questions about the nails in his hands and feet? There are legitimate questions about whether or not they were self-inflicted wounds.
Russert: What do you mean self-inflicted? Are you suggesting Mr. Christ crucified himself on purpose?
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