Beware the laziness. - Democratic Underground

Neoma

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Sun Feb-11-07 02:12 PM
Original message

Beware the laziness.

Laziness is a direct science for me, you have to do it right in order to live your life correctly. Because if you had all the time in the world, more than half the population would choose laziness for no comprehended reason. If they were to do it incorrectly, that population would want to be lazy all the time which is what is happening to the universe at this very moment. I wouldn't be one of the lazy population, but that's because i've already had all the time in the world to be lazy.

Tips to do lazy right:

1. Lay in bed all day. There are several ways to do this but my favorite is to bring a packet of crackers and green tea and put it on my nightstand and then just ...lay there daydreaming for all eternity or just let nothingness take over without a care in the world. However, I only recommend green tea if you want to pee all day in order to get a little exercise and not go beyond laziness into becoming bedridden. Don't get me wrong, bedridden is wonderful but the point in being lazy is just to give your mind a break if only for a little while.

2. The reason I believe watching TV all day isn't truly lazy, is because you could be doing regular exercises while watching TV for all I know and there is the fact that mental laziness is not always the case, alot of people actually watch the Discovery channel. However, I do agree that laying down on a couch and watching soap operas all day is truly lazy. Infact, you could mute the tv and just close your eyes and turn into a blob of nothingness. In which case, I say: good for you!

3. Sitting in a computer chair isn't exactly laziness due to the fact that people work on computers for a living. However, playing mindless games like Tetris, Bejeweled, Spider solitaire, Minesweeper and the like, could be a form of laziness! Unfortunately some people concentrate on winning the game rather than going into a complete state of mindlessness so I encourage looking into flash music videos for a type of hypnotism for a better mindless state.

4. Religion could become a sort of laziness in the fact that you could sit in church all day and ignore what everyone is talking about in order to daydream. All you need to know is the word 'amen' and maybe 'praise jesus' but only if you mildly pay attention to what they're saying and that isn't what you're there for. The same could be said for waiting rooms, but unless you want to look extremely religious I wouldn't say 'amen' or 'praise jesus' while you're there.

5. Going outside and exploring the natural environment around you isn't recommended unless you have a hammock and in order to distract you from the intelligence that you know about the wilderness you're in, take a knife and a piece of stick and just carve away into nothing in particular. Make sure that you do not try to make that stick into a figurine for your mindlessness will disappear and put its energy into carpentry.

6. Meditating is a part of buddhism that enjoys the fact that laziness is there! You basically just sit and try not to think about anything at all, breathe in and out and concentrate on your breathing if thoughts interrupt your blessed laziness state. The great thing about it is the fact that you can do this anywhere and if people, say a colleague says: 'get back to work!' then all you have to do is say it's part of your religion and you have to do this to become one with buddha. It only works if you have a religiously open boss but it's also a great way to find out if your boss is infact an asshole or not. If he fires you, you can be lazy all the time!

I hope you find one with laziness through this list and maybe your mind will open to the fact that you're way too lazy.