Should grandma divorce grandpa

[Deja Q]

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/CaringForParents/ShouldGrandmaDivorceGrandpa.aspx

The population of divorced people over 65 has exploded in the past 15 years, and elder-law attorneys suspect money is at least partly to blame.

The idea that money might be a factor in divorce isn't news. But instead of fighting over their money, these attorneys say, older people who divorce might be trying to preserve it.

Christine Crawford of Aurora, Ohio, started divorce proceedings after her husband's care for dementia consumed more than $100,000 of their savings.

Crawford said she didn't want to divorce her husband, with whom she'd raised three children, but it was the only way to preserve what was left of their life savings.

"All along I kept saying, 'Absolutely not. I won't do that,' " said Crawford, whose husband died before the divorce was final. "I was so proud of the fact we'd been married for 42 years."
Trapped by aid-program rules
To understand why Crawford faced such a wrenching decision, you need to understand some background:

* Medicare, the government insurance program for people 65 and over, doesn't cover long nursing-home stays.
* But Medicaid, the federal health program for the poor that does cover such care, generally requires people to exhaust their financial resources before they can qualify for help.

Article has more.

I feel compelled to say -- with all the divorces going on in our country, to read this is utterly tragic.

What do pro-life and anti-divorce people have to say on this issue?

[Ghost in the Machine]

1. I thought grandma got run over by a reindeer?

:shrug:

[mike_c]

2. I've got mine, or I want mine-- sick people? fuck 'em....

Why should I trouble my beautiful mind about helping sick old people?

And if I become old and sick one day? That's different.

[MADem]

3. This is common even when there isn't illness

They do better on the SS dole separately. Then they sneak around and live together, like teen agers.

[rox63]

15. Same thing also happens to younger folks who are disabled

I have some friends who have been together for over 10 years now. The wife is has a chronic illness, and is on Social Security disability. If they actually married, she'd lose all her benefits. So they had a religious ceremony, but without a marriage license. Because of that, it's not a legal marriage, and she keeps her benefits.

[Canuckistanian]

4. I hope people don't get charged with fraud because of this

The way our mean-spirited society has become, I could see that happen.

[MADem]

16. How can they? How many times have divorced couples gotten together

for a little sumptin-sumptin, for old times sake?

Surely people are allowed to decide how they want to structure their lives? The old "I love him/her, but I can't STAND being married to him/her" excuse oughta suffice....

Even if they live together, they can claim the "psycological liberty" excuse.

[Warpy]

5. Not a damned thing, of course, since they are anti life

and really don't give a shit about divorce unless the participants are young enough to consider remarriage.

They aren't against divorce as much as they are against remarriage, and then they're against remarriage only for women.

Pick their brains sometime. It's a real study in human pathology.

It's true about Medicare and long term care. They will cover acute illness, but they're even less generous than the VA when that illness results in problems that prevent a person from being cared for at home by a spouse who is nearly as infirm.

[Deja Q]

8. Psychology was never my strong point...

I only try to look at non-sequiturs and try to make sense of them by picturing a mental composite. (Then comes something else to either confirm the theory or to blow it away; usually such new happenings blow the theory out of the water...)

[SoCalDem]

6. Our laws actually prevent marriages too. I personally know several

elder couples who cannot marry due to finances.. It really troubles some of them to "live in sin", but by marrying, some of them would lose medical insruance and or pensions, so they just live together..

Thom Hartmann had a show recently where he described the "next big scam".. that one is where the life-long financial accomplishments of a couple gets "transferred" to the medical industry in the same way the article mentions..

grown children should be having some serious heart-to-hearts with their aging parents..

We are not terribly old yet, but when we sell our home after my husband retires, we plan to have our sons go in together and "buy" our final home..That way THEY will already own it.. We will "rent" it from them in order to pay the taxes..

Arrangements like these must be done years in advance, to protect the assets from the medicos..

[Deja Q]

9. Why should they be punished for what many would other consider doing the right thing?

(As has been said, 'marriage' only applies to the young, and even then there are additional levels of bias - usually aimed against women who attempt to remarry.)

[mtnester]

11. My mom passed away in 2004, and my Dad is dating a woman who lost her hubby

in 1970 in a work related plane crash.

She never remarried, and they have been dating now for 2 years. Neither of them can afford to get married to each other. So, they live together between the houses.

Why someone should be punished for remarrying by taking away money that is rightfully theirs (hers..she would lose the annual funds that she gets because her husband died on the job)

Stupid stupid...my father and she are already talking about getting their properties out of their name, just like you are talking about...just "in case"

[CountAllVotes]

7. Medicare doesn't cover routine exams either

Maybe if they paid from something called "intervention", prevention and further deterioration of physical well-being could occur to prevent people from ending up in this boat to begin with.

However, the answer is NO, Medicare does not pay for routine exams/physicals. Many people on Medicare are slim on funds to begin with after paying out the ~$100.00 a month for this grand "benefit" :puke: only to find out later that the coverage they have is in fact rather obscure, highly limited and is not there to help when help is needed the most. You are SOL if you need home health care.

I find this disgusting that people should even have to even think about getting divorced and add to the stress of the situation even more in order to avoid ending up homeless and broke due to illness.

That's right folks, MEDICARE FOR ALL (my ass ...). Think twice is what I say about this stupid idea. It is better than nothing yes, but it isn't worth two hoots in hell if you really need HELP.

:kick:

[hedgehog]

10. We don't have a death tax, we have a life tax!

The odds are about 1 in 4 that you will end up in a nursing home. All the exercise and careful dieting in the world ain't going to change that. What that means is that when the patriarch of family A stokes out and drops dead, family A gets to inherit the wealth ( which is typically a little bungalow bought in 1952! Not much, but it helps with the bills When the patriarch of family B survives his stroke, he may linger on for several years in a nursing home. He has to sell off the family home and run through all that cash before he is eligible for aid to pay the nursing home bill. Running though a life time's assets may take only 6 or 8 months. When patriarch B dies, his kids have to scrape up the money for the funeral because all his savings are long gone.

It's a reverse lottery!

[SoCalDem]

12. And the spouse who outives the patriarch will most likely end up poverty-stricken

and living in a family member's converted garage :(..

It's not a BAD thing for families to share housing, when they WANT to..but it's a real stressor on a middle ager's marriage & finances when they suddenly have to take in an elderly grandma who's lost everything...

[CountAllVotes]

13. and what if .....

They do not have anyone to "take them in"?

What if they don't have any children chomping at the bit waiting for them to die so they can "cash in" on Dear old Mom & Dad?

What if?

:kick:

[SoCalDem]

14. well... "those" kids are S.O.L.

I am actually at the point of thinking that grown kids, should think about paying for life insurance policies on their parents if they expect to have enough to bury them..the way things are going..

[KiraBS]

17. My Grandmother and Grandfather were divorced

They divorce before I was born and both had new partners. I had three sets of Grandparents but I don't ever remember anyone else having divorced Grandparents it is very complicated.

[musette_sf]

18. you won't see the "compassionate conservatives"

give a rat's ass about THIS death tax.

this is the REAL death tax.

not their Silver Spoon Kids Tax Dodge that the vast majority of "their base" will never, ever have to deal with.