Man, I'm all messed up

[MichaelHarris]

I watched the news today and saw all the 8X10 glossies of the inside of Anne Niclole Smith's fridge, she didn't even have any cheese. Everyone has cheese, even if it's only government cheese. I've been Googling all day and I can't find out what was in Marilyn Monroe's or John Bulishi's fridge. Man our News Networks are so much better today, just a few years ago we would have never been able to know this stuff.

Oh yeah, I think some more people died in Iraq today, Exxon made another billion, and Dick Cheney is the crookedest man ever born and he made some more money from the deaths of America's son's and daughters. It's really all very simple, war costs money. Money that has to be paid to someone.

Here's the business model, we fire a bullet someone gets paid. We fire a mortar, someone gets a check. A plane drops a bomb on a village, Cha-Ching for someone. A soldier dies, profits go up; America, Our business is death and business is good....for someone at least.

Seriously though, all that is moot dammit because we got pictures of the fridge. You can't top that. Hey Halliburton, I sleep well at night. How about you? Well not that well, I keep seeing images of families crying over the loss of loved ones. Maybe if I got a check as big as the one you're getting it may make those images go away. I doubt it though, I still have a heart besides we already know Bill Clinton took the cheese and is the father of the baby, thank you main stream media.

Michael Harris

[donheld]

1. Maybe she had no tolerance of lactose?

:shrug: many don't

[MichaelHarris]

2. there ya go

blaming the cheese. Cheese should have it's own food pyramid, I could eat it all day. If I could only figure out how to pour it on my cereal in the morning I'd be set.

I agree with you though and I hope the news media can get to the bottom of why she had no cheese. I don't think the Dairy industry is very happy about that.

[eppur_se_muova]

19. "If I could only figure out how to pour it on my cereal in the morning"...

Dude, microwave it! Works with pepper jack and Velveeta.

Is Doritos a cereal? Oh, who cares.

[Swamp Rat]

22. cheese!!!

yum yum! :9

[democrank]

3. Those refrigerator photos got me thinking.

What if something happened to me and my refrigerator`s contents ended up on the evening news? Since my mind has been stuck on the Iraq War, my refrigerator completely slipped my mind. I checked things out. There in the very back was a plastic container of something that looked very suspicious. It wasn`t Slimfast, but it was definitely something a "normal" person wouldn`t have. It`s gone now so I`m ready for prime time.

[MichaelHarris]

4. Sweet BaGeebus!!

you're right. If I croaked right now my fridge would be all over the news. I may still have some turkey in there. How long can you still eat on the Thanksgiving bird? I hope the poultry industry doesn't get mad.

[tkmorris]

7. Nope

Your fridge wouldn't be all over the news. You don't have Anna Nicole's tits.

[donheld]

10. How do you know

Maybe that's why he doesn't want you seeing inside his fridge? :evilgrin:

[displacedtexan]

5. I spilled potato soup all over my fridge yesterday!

I cleaned it, but now I'll have to do it again
because I wouldn't want the world to see any
drops of goop on my fridge shelves!

It's like clean underwear, y'all! You just never
know, so you should always have clean ones on.

[MichaelHarris]

6. and socks

just ask Paul Wolfowitz.

http://circumlocutor.blogspot.com/2007/01/paul-wolfowitzs-sock-has-hole-in-it.html

[mrcheerful]

8. The thing about clean under wear is

they get soiled real fast when you have a death or near death experince. Even if you avoided the accident you still end up have another accident. Best bet, keep a spare pair of clean undies with you at all times.

[Wilber_Stool]

9. It's 6:45 AM,

CNN, their story? "The fridge factor: what it says about you." I swear to fucking God. Showing the inside of a refrigerator.
It really is the beginning of the end.

[Algorem]

11. they won't show Cheney's spare heart refrigerator

or his blood of young virgins refrigerator

or old drunk druggie Bush's beerigerator

[AwakeAtLast]

12. ROFL!

:rofl:

:spray:

Wow, this is gonna be quite a day! :D

:rofl:

[phatkatt]

13. Yeah, but how many shoes did she have?!?

That's what America really needs to know!

Lousy liberal media.

[lonestarnot]

14. And no science projects! What's a frig w/o science projects?

hmmmf.

[librechik]

15. wasn't that a hotel refrigerator?

if so, it doesn't surprise me it was so empty. Who cooks at a hotel? Could she cook?

[Sydnie]

16. Think of the Children!

They are out there, dutifully taking their Trim Spa, in hopes of someday garnering a physique like hers and nabbing a big endorsement paycheck. Now they know, because the stinking media couldn't keep her secret, that Trim Spa is not the magic pill to fame and fortune. No, it's not. They now know that it was Slim Fast and methadone that gave her that hand up that she needed. It's a sure bet that Pat Robertson will soon be able to corner the market on that combination in a new powered form and lead them from the disappointment to success in their quest for the perfect bod. Or maybe Ted Haggard will beat him to it, now that he's cured and all.

Perhaps, if she had just had a bit of cheese or yogurt in that fridge, things might have turned out differently. Perhaps ...

Now I'm going to check my freezer too. Seems only natural that now that we have been spoiled by the inside of the fridge section, exposure of our freezers must follow. Hope I labeled and dated everything correctly ....

[Junkdrawer]

17. K&R

[Raffi Ella]

18. Ha!

:patriot:

[demrabble]

20. Gouda On You!

Gouda on you for posting this.

[NanceGreggs]

21. Well, don't THAT just say it all ..

... and then some.

K&R, 'cause it's all so true -- and I wish I could say it half as good as it just got said.

[MichaelHarris]

23. Thank you

I just hope they don't look in my fridge, my wife will keep a turkey until it's spreadable.