Have you given your daughter a Sweet 16 party yet?

[Robson]

You all may not agree with me on this but I find the "sweet 16" parties for girls, that seem to be replicating themselves across wealthy-ville America, thanks to MTV and their "My Sweet 16" show, as truly an obnoxious example of self indulgent, gluttonous behavior. It's a good reason for contraception.

I accidentally watched this reality show one time on MTV and the craven materialism and the behavior of the spoiled young bitch offspring (that's being kind) of these wealthy Americans actually turned my stomach. The birthday girl went into an on camera tantrum because she didn't get the right color Lexus convertible. These parties truly represent the worst of America IMHO, but you may disagree. Shouldn't parents teach their children to give of themselves and to help society, not to advance this type of behavior.

What I find most outrageous is that the surplus in the social security trust fund was used by Bush to give tax cuts to these wealthy people so that they can fritter it away turning their progeny into spoiled brats.

Are you spending 20-50K to give your young debutante daughter a fitting send off to adulthood?

[bluestateguy]

1. Well, I think we need to have congressional hearings to investigate the matter

But seriously:

This is a non-issue. It's far more important that we change policies in this country so that the deck is not stacked in favor of the wealthy.

You do that and the problems that you address will sort themselves out.

[Robson]

26. The guilded age

The guilded age was called that because of excesses in the richest segment of society. We're in a new guilded age because of laws and policies that have promoted it beginning with Reagan.

Society has become voyeuristic and enamored of celebrity and wealth, because that's the only way that most of society will ever become part of that scene. When the USA had a strong middle class there wasn't as much enamor with celebrity and wealth. Today the lack of opportunity for a college education and especially an Ivy League education will keep most of the non-elite stuck in the class they were born. There was a good article on that subject in Atlantic Monthly a couple of years ago.

[supernova]

2. This is supposed to be a big deal in the Latino community

It seems to be a combo pagant and pre-wedding.

While I don't have anything against "coming out" parties, like you I think it's too consumed with the materialistic side, rather than the purpose of the event.

[Iris]

34. That's quinceanera - 15th birthday -

Spanish“fifteen years celebration”)

Photograph:A Mexican American girl in a traditional pink dress celebrates her quinceañera with her …
A Mexican American girl in a traditional pink dress celebrates her quinceañera with her …
Bob Daemmrich/The Image Works
also called quince años Mexican celebration of a girl's 15th birthday, marking her passage from childhood to adulthood. The traditional quinceañera is both a religious and a social event that emphasizes the importance of the family and society in the life of young people.



http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-9389229/quinceanera

[Ellen Forradalom]

3. Wasn't there a YouTube video of that temper tantrum

circulating on the Internets shortly after it aired? It was too much.

I think the producers of these shows egg the participants on towards bad behavior. Polite, reasonable people don't make good TV.

[mcscajun]

23. Yes, there was, and it was pretty disgusting to watch.

x(

[Puregonzo1188]

31. The red-colored lexus video (its the wrong color) on youtube is actually not real.

It was a promotional video for Dominoes Pizza.

[HooptieWagon]

4. I agree

that many of those parties are tasteless. There was a local girl whose sweet-16 party appeared on MTV - she got a jag... :eyes:

[Midlodemocrat]

5. Yes, I think I will be spending that much.

On her college education. Not on a party. No one in my 'circle' does that.

[soothsayer]

6. My jaw always drops to see how much money is out there and the stupid

things people spend it on. Amazing.

On the other hand, when I turned 16 in 1978 I remember my mother humiliatingly pinning a corsage of sugar cubes on my lapel and sending me out with my best friend (in real life, my first GF) who surprised me with a party at Farrell's (silly, festive ice cream place). I was hoping just for a date with my GF at the Magic Pan, but I think it was her idea to surprise me with all these other girls showing up at the mall. I was mortified. But I think a $100k gala would have also mortified me.

[ima_sinnic]

7. I saw that bit with the spoiled little me-firster whining & crying

about the color of a car that was a gift and felt like hurling the TV into the wall.

sheesh, people are literally starving in the world. There is so much suffering beyond the walls of rich people's compounds that it sickens me. They are vapid, shallow wastes of oxygen. With so much money at their fingertips, they could do good in the world, yet all they can think about is their own selfish self-indulgence.

EAT THE RICH

[StudentLoanSlave]

8. It's their money I don't give a shit.

There are more important things to concern myself with.

[MrMickeysMom]

9. You'll get no disagreement from me...

... My idea of a "sweet 16" birthday bash is a "grown-up" special day out, or in (depending upon what families can do these days) to mark the event of the "coming of age".

These types of so called, "reality" shows (which I may have caught all of 60 seconds one time) make me cluck my tongue.

Who truly lives like that MTV show? Families fucked up beyond belief, if you ask me. If we ever evolve out of this disgusting period, they should make the next reality series visit these sons and daughters as they work out why money never bought them the one thing we all need- Families celebrating the life THEY MAKE together.

But, hopefully, we'll all be busy making life instead of seeing these shows by accident, or to fill a void.

[theHandpuppet]

10. Shoot, 20-50K is nothing for some of these folks

Not long ago there was a big hubbub about some couple from Long Island who spent MILLIONS on their brat daughter's sweet 16 party. How much you wanna bet these are the same folks who would bitch about a poor child's right to basic health care?

Here are a couple of articles on these obscene orgies of indulgence, including one from Common Dreams:
http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2007/08/22/3324/
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1184086,00.html

[Dorian Gray]

30. In NYC

there are people throwing Bar Mitvah's as the Mandarin Oriental Hotel Ballroom and the Metropolitan Club, starting prices at $250,000 and $100,000 respectively.

Ridiculous. And that's for a 13 year old! I don't get it...

[KittyWampus]

11. "spoiled young bitch offspring"?

[file83]

19. Yikes.

[valerief]

12. No, but I can pay the gas bill this month. That's just as good, right? nt

[classof56]

13. Yeah, so glad our troops are dying in Iraq to preserve this "lifestyle".

To answer your question, no. My 16-year-old daughters (20+ years ago) were not debutantes (not even close) and their fitting sendoff to adulthood, while far, far from the 20-50K range, was in the form of the values we instilled in them, sufficient to turn them into decent, hardworking, productive members of society who now have virtually no future because of Bush and his policies. Okay, that sentence was too long, but I'm as pissed as you are about the craven materialism and behavior of these "sweet young things" that I help pay for by continuing to work so their wealthy parents can get their tax breaks.

I'm retired now, and have had to go back to work to afford to live, for which I really-really thank Bush and his evil minions. NOT. I'm just grateful my grandchildren are not old enough to ship off to Iraq to die in the desert in this misbegotten, evil, ugly "war" that Bush has enmeshed us in with apparently no way out.

Obviously, you pushed a couple of my buttons. I live in fear that Bush is going to snatch away the small Social Security pension I am dependent upon (that and my job) so I can afford to eke out a living in the economy he's created for me and for my children and grandchildren to try and barely subsist in.

Okay, I'm ending sentences with prepositions. Time to quit. Thanks for your post. God help us all.

Tired Old Cynic

[Warpy]

14. My mother rejected the debutante/cotillion route

when she was a teenager, scandalizing the family by loudly calling the whole thing a "marital slave auction."

Needless to say, my sixteenth birthday passed without fanfare.

I've been grateful to her since then, although it bothered me at the time because "sweet 16" parties were in vogue in the burbs.

I guess the people who have managed to rip the rest of us off need to have a way to prove how successfully they've done it. I guess this is as good a way as any. I just wonder how many other people will lose their houses over it when they take out a second to pay for the damned thing, just because the spoiled brat daughter is trying to keep up with the in crowd at school.

I was easy, there was never a way I was going to be part of any in crowd.

(for the record, though, I strongly suspect that MTV thing was staged)

[Iris]

36. sweet 16 is different from debutante balls and cotillions

but I see the point in avoiding both. Although, I think a sweet 16 party could be a sweet sentimental sort of thing rather than an invitation to eligible bachelors.

[Warpy]

44. It served the same function

as a rite of passage between girlhood and womanhood. However, the sweet 16 was generally for other kids while the debutante ball introduced a teenager to adult society, in general.

I've always been deeply grateful my mother was such a rebel.

[Katherine Brengle]

15. I agree - it's classist and perpetuates

some pretty sick ideas about women.

Then again, so does your use of "spoiled little 'bitch' offspring" which is disgusting and offensive.

[glowing]

16. Who cares? If they want to waste their money, let them.

This is where trickle down works, shoot let them have a damn party every day of the week and a new car to boot.. think of all the jobs created in spoiling these wonderful children who happened to be born into a home with lots of wealth.

As for me.. my best friend and I share the same birth date. Our friend set up his band outside on his house steps... He lived in a log cabin set away from the road in VT. We had a cook out, mellow music, alcohol, weed, and later a bon fire... And everyone fell asleep wherever they fell. It was a beautiful summer day and turned into a great night. It was awesome. Nothing beats a good time, good music, and a really nice day.

And the only cost for anyone was the food and the alcohol... the other party favors were home grown... Don't worry agent Mike, he doesn't live there anymore and neither do I.

[Flabbergasted]

17. ditto. Frankly its not anyone's business.

[Robson]

25. You're probably right

but please allow me to rant about it, at least for one thread on DU.

Someone told me about a recent example of such a party locally and I guess it pushed my buttons. It's just one indicator of the priorities of those that have the most influence in the country, and I don't resent it because they have the most money, but because they equate success with materialism and even instill it in their offspring. BTW for those that were offended with the original term for the offspring, you need to see the tantrum.

[Iris]

37. Then why let MTV film it?

[mondo joe]

18. I don' care how people spend their money - though I do care how it's made.

The system currently is out of balance and THAT I have a problem with.

[Mrs. Overall]

20. My daughter will turn 16 in May and we have an incredible bash planned:

four or five girl friends will stay the night, eat pizza, drink Sprite, eat chocolate cake, watch rented movies, sleep on the floor.

[otherlander]

21. 20k?

I'm sure it's a very small percentage of people who spend that much on sweet 16s. Lots of not rich people have them, they'll hire a DJ, rent out a space to dance and have dinner, but they don't spend 20k or get Lexuses.

[PSPS]

22. Even though promoted as "reality," that show is entirely scripted.

In fact, almost all "reality" shows are scripted.

[PCIntern]

24. Yes...

it was a lovely sit-down dinner in a local restaurant where 13 of her very nice, kind, clear-thinking (for the most part) friends could have 2 and 1/2 hours of adolescent conversation and a casual but interesting meal ordered from a trendy, but not expensive by any standards, menu.

Not everyone's a giant asshole who celebrates First Communions, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and weddings. If you look at the film Goodbye, Columbus the wedding scene meal was supposed to be portrayed as obscenely extravagant in the late 60's. Fact is, today, that'd be considered somewhat paltry by urban standards. The kids shown on TV these dyas in the reality shows are horrible, their families are horrible, and that's precisely why they were chosen. Many of us are sane and stable and do celebrate reasonably.

[Sherman A1]

27. Well, it is Television

and I suppose that they were chosen (and perhaps coached) for a reason? My nieces 16th birthday this year was nothing more than a family surprise party for her. The gifts were a little larger than the past year, but not so much so as to come close to a Lexus.

Too much reality TV......?

[pitohui]

28. well, i thought it was influenced by quinceanos (not spelled right), the 15th bday party

the sweet 16 wasn't such a big deal in my day, any more than any other bday, altho of course the sweet 16 would have a sweet 16 theme

i thought the new over-the-top bdays were being influenced by the growing hispanic traditions, which include these really over the top 15th bday for well-to-do latin american and mexican girls

from my wasp background it's a sin and a crime to make that much fuss over a bday unless the person is like turning 75 or something, seems like a waste of money to me, but different strokes for different folks

and if a teen girl sees other teens getting away with it, why wouldn't she try to get that kind of bling for her own bday? so there's going to be peer pressure

whether it's quinceanos or sweet 16, basically the same idea...rich daddies want one last chance to spoil daddy's little girl before she grows up

nothing to do w. my lifestyle or budget, that's for sure!

[Horse with no Name]

29. Some kids have the luxury of spending $2500 on a cake for one event

and some kids die because they have a tooth rot out of their head that their parents didn't have the money to have it taken out.
That is the disparity in America these days.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/27/AR2007022702116.html

[AlCzervik]

32. i think those people throwing those really expensive parties are more like

an exception than the the rule. How about people that have really spendy weddings? I won't be throwing a party like those ever but i wish i could figure out a business to take advantage of those people that have so much disposable income.

[ikojo]

33. No, but a friend spent $10,000 on

her son's bar mitzvah in September...and that's getting off cheap in Jewish America. I don't understand spending that kind of money on a THIRTEEN year old KID, just as I do not understand spending tens of thousands of dollars on a WEDDING.

That kind of money could better be spent as a down payment on a house, rather than a one day event.

[JVS]

35. Never

[Saphire]

38. Sweet 16 next Friday. 15 friends at the pizza place is as far as I'm

able to afford, but she's gonna have a blast!!

[Arugula Latte]

39. Um -- there's no middle ground between "contraception" and lavish spoiling of teens?

I have two children (not teens yet) and there is no way in hell they will get any treatment remotely close to those spoiled brats on MTV. They are being brought up with great liberal values and we are trying to raise them to be strong citizens who contribute to society.

[Selatius]

40. It's a grotesque, vulgar display of materialism, but it's a symptom of far greater problems.

Namely, while they celebrate, untold hundreds of thousands go to bed each night hungry. Many live without adequate shelter or no shelter at all, and many more lack affordable health care of decent quality. The gap between the rich and poor continues to increase at alarming rates. We have lost the way of the New Deal.

[Iris]

41. straight out of a Dickens' novel.

[GRLMGC]

42. We have quinceaneras in our community all the time

I didn't have one because I didn't want one and, frankly, I think its a waste of money. However, I can say that most of the quinceaneras I have been to were not thrown by wealthy people. They mostly consisted of renting a banquet hall, renting a limo, cooking something that was not that expensive yet fed a lot of people, hiring a cheap photographer/videographer, and buying a big pink dress. It's a lot of money but its a big deal to the girl. I don't know anybody who got a Lexus. Maybe a used, twelve-year old Honda a year later but that was about it.

[Doremus]

43. Let's not forget the war contractor who threw a multi-MILLION $$ bash

for his daughter's bat mitzvah.

While he was engaging in an obscene circus of overindulgence, soldiers were dying on the battlefield from his substandard body armour that he peddled to his best buds at the DoD.

He later went to prison iirc.

[jakefrep]

45. Just once,

I would like to see the parents roust the kid out of bed at 6am (the day of the party) and send him or her off to a homeless shelter for a day of volunteer work as a precondition for having the lavish party. Make the kid think about someone other than herself and about how fortunate they are.

Then again, with MTV, I wouldn't be surprised if any discussion of strings attached for the lavish gifts and parties got left on the cutting room floor.