The Terror Alert levels: A Brown Person's Guide (warning: SATIRE)

[BushOut06]

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/27sehgal.html

If you've never seen McSweeney's site, check it out. There's some really good satirical stuff there. I found this while browsing around. A few excerpts:

Terror Alert Level: Elevated (Yellow)

Things are getting serious, champ. This should really go without saying, but it's time to say goodbye to the beard. If you choose not to shave, you're really just instigating. Here's a thought—you ever see those movies from the late '80s where the young urban male carries a large boom box on his shoulder, pumping rap music wherever he goes? You should give that a shot, although nix the rap music and try some talk radio. How 'bout some Sean Hannity? That stuff's awesome with the bass turned up. ...

Terror Alert Level: Severe (Red)

OK, here's the deal. You need to get to Nevada. If you don't already live there, don't worry. We'll have a bus come and pick you up. Think of it as a well-deserved Vegas vacation! Except not in Vegas. More like a camp set up in the desert about 60 miles south of Vegas. But just as fun and with lots of the security and video-surveillance equipment that Las Vegas is known for. And remember: what happens in a locked-down government camp south of Las Vegas stays in a locked-down government camp south of Las Vegas.