One quick way to end a telemarketing call

[jmowreader]

Today I was sitting at work running some political signs (for a Maxton, NC, city council race) when my cell phone rings.

"Hello, is this Mr. Mowreader?" (She sat there looking at it like most people do and came up with some really weird fucking pronunciation, like most people do. For the record, it's pronounced exactly like it's written.)

"I'm calling from the Publishers Sweepstakes and I'm here to tell you that you've been qualified for the next level of our sweepstakes!"

'You're making a telemarketing call to a cell phone. Last I checked, that is illegal.'

"Oh! I'm sorry! I'll update my records..."

Yeah, right. SURE you're sorry.

The phone number is [phone], which belongs to a known telemarketer called "Active Periodicals." I did a search and found out they like to violate the federal Do Not Call law.

[Rosemary2205]

1. Everyone put [phone] on speed dial and call about 100 times.

:evilgrin:

[agates]

2. I usually set the phone down and walk away

Don't hang up. This keeps them tied up longer, until they finally realize no one is there.

[zabet]

4. Me too....

my kitchen counter top has not purchased a single
thing I let the telemarketers try to sell it.
:)

[high density]

5. I like to do that when I get toner scam calls at work

Them: "Hi, this is copy repair place. What model is your copier?"
Me: "Hold on a minute while I find out."
(Infinite hold.)

At the very least it slows them down from trying to scam others. Usually they hang up after a minute or so.

[SoCalDem]

7. My neighbor Nancy, used to get obscene phone calls every Tuesday morning

so one day she had us all over and we put him on speaker phone and laughed our asses off at him.. he never called back :)

[jmowreader]

32. On a landline I would

When the assholes call my cell phone, that's a different story.

[wtmusic]

3. Try to sell them something back

"You need a car? I got a Toyota Tercel with low miles, new tires. $1,500. Great family car...stain on the reat seat, runs great. Where you at? Come by and drive it...I'll be home tomorrow until 3 or what's next week look like?"

Guaranteed.

[SoCalDem]

6. Or keep a bible near the phone and start reading it to them

:evilgrin:

[Fuzz]

8. Tell them you are very interested, but then stutter

very, very, very badly. Take like 4 minutes to complete each sentence.

Only if you have a lot of time though ;)

[JTFrog]

9. I like this approach:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qv3UCvxUh8E

[VP505]

14. That was good

thanks for posting that one.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Jackpine Radical]

19. God, that was funny!

[Richard D]

23. That was sooooo funny!

Brilliant. I wish I could act like that.

[Frustratedlady]

24. That is a classic!

I've heard it several times, but I'm laughing so hard, I can hardly hear the conversation. He does a great job!

[Swamp Rat]

33. LOLOL!!!!!

:rofl:

[Freedomofspeech]

10. My Mother-in-law...

says she's deaf, and starts screaming in to the phone, "I can't hear you". Works every time!!
She's 86!

[Lucinda]

11. My fella was so frustrated before we got on the do not call list

that he told one chickie that he didnt have time to talk right now, and would she please give him HER home phone number so he could call her back later. She started telling him the number.

Unreal.

[Bitwit1234]

12. Do no Call says it's system is down.

I am on the Do Not Call List but for the last month I have been overwhelmed with these calls. There is a company called Creative Innovations that calls three or four times a day and on Saturday and after 9 at night. I answered it twice and no one was them and it cut off. I can't get to the S.O.B. fast enough cause when I do I have a whistle and I'm going to blow it. My grand daughter told me to do that and I am going to start to do it to all those calls.

[havocmom]

13. Boatswain's pipe* is loads of fun

They are loud and very shrill. Sometimes the tone will disconnect the call. Great for ex-husbands with too much time on their hands :evilgrin:

*Not recommended for apartment dwellers or people with nervous dogs

[TwilightGardener]

15. I press the "talk" button, and then immediately press the "hang up" button.

Phone magically stops ringing. This only works with caller ID, of course.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

16. whocalled.us - great site

Enter the number that called you and find out who they are from others who post reports.

800notes.com - another good site along the same lines.

[Mira]

17. I just tell them they made a mistake because I don't have a phone N/T

[tkmorris]

18. LOL that's brilliant

[Dr.Phool]

20. The Florida Highway Patrol Association is relentless.

My wife donated to them once, and now they think it's easy pickin's. They call 4 or 5 times a day, even after I tell them I was beat up by a cop the night before, have lost my job, I'm homeless. They started calling again last night.

Their new spiel is, "In February, 2007, an officer was shot and killed in the line of duty. You can be assured, and guaranteed that all donations received will go directly to the organization". Huh? Not the cops family?

I replied, "If I give you 10 bucks, do you promise to shoot another one"?

They ain't called back. I hope I don't get pulled over.

[Jackpine Radical]

21. I have a method for wrong numbers...

Jackpine: "Hello."
Caller: "Hi. Is Amanda there?"
J: Migod, haven't you heard?
C: Heard what?
J: She's in jail. I'm not sure what it's about. The cops came and arrested her last night.
C: You're kidding!
J. No, I wish I was. I don't know--think she's in a lot of trouble, though. They had about 10 squads here, surrounded the house with cops and everything.
C. Omigod...
J. Some reporters have been calling. One or two from the Twin Cities. You might want to watch the papers the next couple of days...Sorry, I gotta go now. (hangs up)


I wonder who Amanda is.

[Cabcere]

22. A teacher I had in high school

told us about his preferred method for dealing with telemarketers:

Telemarketer: "Hello, is this Mr. _______ ?" (often mispronouncing his name)
Mr. _______ : "No, he died."
Telemarketer: *awkward pause* "Oh...I'm very sorry..." (call effectively ended :D)

:rofl:

[DFW]

26. That's funny except when it's true

My dad died at home with me one one side and my mom on the other, and about
five minutes after he took his last breath, a telemarketer called wanting to
sell him something. I told the asshole that he was five minutes too late and
told him why. He was wise enough not to pursue the matter.

[Cabcere]

31. Oh, man...I am so sorry, DFW.

:hug: :blush: I feel like a first-rate asshole. My condolences on the loss of your father, and I'm sorry for bringing it up. :( :pals:

[DFW]

35. No way you could have known. It's cool.

It just struck a sensitive spot, if you know what I mean.

To give you an idea of what kind guy my dad was, in 2000,
there was a measure being considered as an amendment to
Medicare that would have reduced the amount that Medicare
paid for out-patient cancer (as in chemotherapy) care from
95% to 85%. As my dad was in the final stages of his losing
battle at the time, he realized instantly that such a measure
would have ended up costing the Federal Government a fortune,
as people who couldn't afford the extra co-pay would have been
forced to become in-patients to get the higher coverage, and
therefore cost Medicare more than before. From his sickbed,
wasting away, he arranged a conference call with Sen. Moynihan's
office and the Clinton White House, and singlehandedly convinced
them to drop the measure.

I guess I miss him too much not to have brought it up, but don't
worry about it. Like I said, there is no way you could have known,
and meant no ill. NP, in other words.

[timtom]

25. 954?

So...Broward County -- right?

[riverdeep]

27. Here's another method.

Make a recording of an SIT tone (special information tone, yes the tone is redundant, it's how it's said) as the first thing on your answering machine. You know how you call a number that isn't valid, and you hear 'bloop, bloop, bloop, we're sorry, but the number you have called is incorrect, please check the number and dial again.'? Well, that bloop bloop bloop sound at the beginning is the SIT tone you want, and most of the auto dialers are programmed to hang up if they encounter it. As a bonus, most human callers also hang up, or are confused. You also want to wait a bit after the tone, and then put in a generic message, one that doesn't include your name.

Since I started using this method, my telemarketing calls dropped by 90%. I still get some, but not nearly as much. If you're the kind that picks up before the machine gets it, this won't work obviously. Good news, it's free. You can get the tone off the net, and play it through your speakers to the phone. Then say your message.

SIT tone, wav file:

http://www.scn.org/~bk269/errorbeeps1.wav

Disadvantages? It's better if you tell people who you want calling you that you do this, 'cause sometimes it throws them off, too.

Now, products like the 'Telezapper' do this too, for about $40. Supposedly, the telemarketing companies have changed their machines to now ignore SIT's, but my own, albeit anecdotal, experience is enough of them don't. Anyway, this method is free, so if it doesn't work, you're not out anything.

I'm not a great believer in torturing telemarketers, because all you're doing is torturing the telemarketers SERVANTS. People have been harassing telemarketers for a long time, and it doesn't end the practice. Some schmuck getting paid $6 bucks an hour isn't the one you're after. They sit in a hothouse and get replaced in six weeks. The one you want is on the golf course. The only way to get him, is through legislation and concerted, group efforts.

Of course, the easiest way of all, still, is to just say 'take me off your list' and hang up.

[IDemo]

28. Tell them they have qualified for a discount on your new book

"Closing the Sale: Information Every Telemarketer MUST Have!"

[mondo joe]

29. I hate telemarketing calls, but I always try to be nice to the people making the call

when I can will myself to do it.

It's a lousy, low paying job.

[Contrary1]

30. Some years ago I heard a real howler...

A carpet cleaning company had called someone, and the victim went into his routine as to whether or not they could remove a large amount of blood from the carpet, drapes, walls, etc... The telemarketer ended up calling the police to investigate. It was hilarious.

If you got some spare time do a search on youtube of Tom Mabe.

[LWolf]

34. When I was still answering the phone,

I would simply say, "Oh, I'm pleased you called. Hold on a minute, I need to turn the stove off." Then I'd lay the phone down on the table and go about my business.

These days, I simply don't answer the phone. The ringer is turned off, and I check messages once a day.

My family calls me on the cell phone.

Of course, that wouldn't work on a cell phone; but I don't answer the cell phone if it's not a number I recognize.