October 22, 2007
BAGHDAD—In a development Pentagon officials are calling not nearly as horrifying as usual, three car bombs ripped through a Baghdad marketplace Monday, killing fewer than 15 innocent civilians, severely injuring no more than 30, and merely maiming one U.S. soldier.
The car bombs, which were detonated by Iraqi insurgents at approximately 2 p.m., left slightly less than complete and utter devastation in their wake. As of press time, barely five families were believed to be trapped beneath the resulting wreckage, although upbeat U.S. authorities have estimated that number could be as low as four.
"Not bad—not bad at all," said Lt. Col. Michael Donnelly, who claimed the attack is conclusive proof that the tide in Iraq is somewhat turning in a vaguely less-ghastly direction. "This is hardly the parade of death and destruction we've grown accustomed to. In fact, I've recently received word that our injured soldier isn't even going to lose his other leg."
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High-ranking commanders agreed with the assessment, saying that the scarcely atrocious incident of mass violence was just one in a recent string of less than dreadful occurrences in the not quite as, but still very troubled region. Last week's suicide bombing of two schools in Fallujah, for example, left nowhere near 500 Iraqi children dead, and Thursday's sniping of three U.S. soldiers killed just two instantly, while the other, a 19-year-old Marine, was able to survive for nearly a whole day before succumbing to internal injuries.
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http://www.theonion.com/content/news/not_so_horrible_thing_happens_inThe surge is working! The surge is working!
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