Late-Night Political Jokes for Dems

[Amy6627]

"In a recent interview, First Lady Laura Bush said that President Bush always forgets Valentine's Day. The First Lady went on to say that unless a holiday has a bunny or a flying reindeer, forget it." --Conan O'Brien

"We have another presidential candidate. Mitt Romney is running on the Republican ticket. If you're anything like me, you don't know Mitt Romney from Roma Downey. ... I really like his campaign slogan. Have you seen it? 'Mitt Happens'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"When Al Gore presented the 'Best Album' award to the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Grammys, Al Gore said because of global warming, the Chili Peppers are now 20% hotter than they were 20 years ago." --Jay Leno

"The number one movie at the box office is Eddie Murphy's 'Norbit', where Eddie Murphy plays a huge fat woman. Or, as Bill Clinton calls it, 'Dreamgirls.'" --Jay Leno

"You all watch the Grammys last night? The Dixie Chicks won five Grammys. I don't want to say President Bush was upset, but today he tried to get the Supreme Court to overturn the ballot results. It only works once." --Jay Leno

"If Ralph Nader runs for president in 2008, it will make history. He will be the first person to ever run for president four times in the same suit." --Jay Leno

"Senator Joseph Lieberman said Tuesday that Congress should consider war on terrorism taxes. Or, as they are currently known, taxes." --Seth Meyers

"After three weeks of therapy and counseling, Reverend Ted Haggard announced he's now completely heterosexual. To prove it, he ate a Snickers bar while pulling out his chest hair." --Jay Leno

"When she was arrested, she was carrying a wig, a steel mallet, some duct tape, and a knife. Or as OJ calls it, an overnight bag." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama now trying to quit smoking. ... He's now chewing nicotine gum. Today on the news, they showed him chewing the gum while walking. To which President Bush said, 'Show off.'" --Jay Leno

"Ralph Nader said this week he is leaving the door open for running for president in 2008. He's still got the wrinkled suit ready to go." --Jay Leno

"Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo has announced he's forming a presidential exploratory committee. The committee won't be paid for their work, but they will get some sweet high-paying jobs in the Tancredo administration." --Conan O'Brien

[hopein08]

1. Very funny!

Since I don't watch late night TV, thanks for posting what I've been missing! Do you mind if I email a few of them to people on my list who'd enjoy them?

[Amy6627]

5. Sure!

[Little Wing]

2. ugh

Leno is terribly bland

[ncrainbowgrrl]

4. this one was good though:

"You all watch the Grammys last night? The Dixie Chicks won five Grammys. I don't want to say President Bush was upset, but today he tried to get the Supreme Court to overturn the ballot results. It only works once." --Jay Leno

[DesertRat]

3. Funny! I especially liked the Haggard joke.