Incidents Of Students Cutting Selves With Blades Concern School (relieves anger)

[The Straight Story]

Incidents Of Students Cutting Selves With Blades Concern School
Letter To Be Sent Home With Children

POSTED: 6:28 pm EST February 15, 2007

A growing subculture "Emo" fad where teens cut themselves to express their personal pain has prompted concern from parents of children at a Central Florida school after some reported cutting incidents, according to a Local 6 News report.

The report featured a 12-year-old girl named Lisa, who attends Central Middle School in Melbourne, Fla., who had cuts on her body caused by a razor blade. She said the sight of her own blood brings instant relief.

"What does it feel like when you cut yourself?" Local 6's Kimberly Houk said.


"It feels like my anger is gone," the 12-year-old said. "I just feel normal again."

Local 6 News reported that Lisa is not alone and that more girls than boys are inflicting cuts on their bodies.

http://www.local6.com/news/11026527/detail.html

[ProdigalJunkMail]

1. i just don't get emo...

bunch of whiney kids without any real problems that just want attention...

sP

[The Straight Story]

2. Their body, their choice?

Unless it involves smoking and health care costs :rofl:

[ProdigalJunkMail]

3. who here actually thinks they OWN their body???

:-)

[seabeyond]

26. are you suggesting otherwise???? n/t

[Jonathan50]

40. Piss tests for "drugs"

I think that says it all.

[hang a left]

4. Actually real cutters...

are disturbed people. They cut themselves to reduce and eliminate their emotional pain.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

8. people that are a danger to themselves or society need treatment

however, most of these kids are just crying out for attention. It is really sad that the people who need the real help are often lumped in with these kids...

sP

[seabeyond]

24. those kids with eating disorder, just attention. those kids commit suicide, just attention

you opinion lacks credible knowledge. it is sad.

[lapislzi]

15. It's more complicated than that

My 13-yr-old daughter cuts. She's in therapy now.

Kids cut for lots of reasons:

--Emotional pain. The cutting "focuses" the pain on a single area and channels emotional pain into physical pain. Many cutters describe an immense feeling of release when they cut. Unfortunately, the relief is short-lived, and most cut again. It quickly becomes habitual behavior.
--Control. They get to control the pain, not an outside locus.
--To feel something, anything at all. Many kids (not mine) describe a feeling of numbness or disconnection (any wonder?). Cutting enables them to feel something.
--To fit in with the other emo kids. They compare cuts, scars, and patterns.
--Finally, and I hope I won't be flamed for this, cutting is above all a coping mechanism. It's a poor one, for sure, but I know that my daughter isn't suicidal (cutters rarely commit suicide), isn't drinking or taking drugs, and doesn't suffer from an eating disorder. It can be argued that cutting is healthier than all of those. Still bad, but not as bad as it could be.

People are shocked by cutting because it's obvious, and most people are squeamish with the idea of inflicting pain on themselves. But I can't sit there from the comfort of my easy chair with a glass of wine in my hand and condemn my daughter for having poor coping skills.

It's my job to help her acquire healthy coping skills. Hence, the therapy. This is beyond my ability to handle.

Now, we can discuss the overarching circumstances that lead to such behaviors (and eating disorders, and the general disaffection of our youth), but that is the subject of another post.

[seabeyond]

38. yup

and i feel the bottom line on all is a feel of not measuring up in one form or another. ultimately

[lapislzi]

39. Typically these kids are high achievers

With high-achieving parents. I know this is true in my daughter's case.

And although the talk in this thread about whining is insensitive, there is also a grain of truth in it. My SO will jokingly refer to "hypergratified white kids" in the same sentence as "emo." Most of these kids come from varying degrees of privilege. The fact that they are disaffected suggests a kind of world-weariness that's sad--nay, tragic--in ones so young.

In my less empathetic moments, I feel angry that she has been given so much, yet chooses to hurt herself.

[seabeyond]

46. yes

i was one in the late 70's in calif with the eating disorders that last a couple decades. and i have an older son that i can see he could do it to himself. interesting in seeing the personality and how it is there for the picking. the inward destructiona dn the devaluing self at the whim of society or expectations. it is a pain felt. simple as that. though we would like to dismiss it with look at all you have.... the reality is the need to be perfect for whatever reasons and then the knowledge of falling short of that. because i have recognized it at such a young age with him, and because of my own experience with it and having come out of it with an increased realization also the knowleldge of the higher (gift) in having this experience .... i am able to give him tools now thatq i hope will allow him to by pass it all. i am very particular how we handle these particular children, and it is NEVER allowing them to be victims, always showing them their own empowerment at all times and they create. which inwardly they know hence the addiction in destruction for control, but they dont realize on a conscious level. not until they have gone thru much of it and seeing the destruction wanting out. by then... they are in a habit and worse

[uppityperson]

45. Thank you. It can be very scary for parents/friends & cutters

I know one who cut because felt forced into therapy to figure out other coping mechanisms. It was a mixture of control and pain relief, nothing to do with comparing with others as kept it hidden from everyone. Now, a few yrs later, is out in the open and says "ancient history" when asked. However, not on drugs, alcohol, pg, not anorexic, didn't commit suicide.

It is shocking and painful to see, and very scary to wonder if suicide is the next step, but usually it isn't. I was told cutting helped keep suicidal impulses away.

Thank you and good luck to you and yours from me and mine.

[lapislzi]

16. That's pretty insensitive

I guess you were never 13.

[Fire Walk With Me]

22. Someone hide the SPK, Throbbing Gristle, Skinny Puppy, and nin CDs!

Quick! Before these kids find out about them.

[Meat Stew]

5. hmmmm

Should I feel wrong about looking at that girls bra?

[hang a left]

7. lol

YES!

[Meat Stew]

11. Sorry

I wasn't really looking...

[a la izquierda]

6. from a cutter who is almost 30 years old...

it's not trying to get attention. And I don't like emo (quite possibly the worst music to come out in a while). But it is a very serious problem. If kids are doing it to be "emo", well, they're stupid. But many, many people do it because it does relieve some sort of emotion that they're fundamentally incapable of handling. My therapist calls me the Ice Queen, for my utter lack of emotion at most things--cutting is my way of releasing it until I can deal with the emotions properly.

[Meat Stew]

9. What

exactly is "Emo" music?

[bleedingheart]

10. my daughter has a friend in school who supposedly does this

and he is in 2nd grade..

I called the school to tell them my concerns and I hope the kid is getting help.

[Rottenmac]

12. I used to burn myself with cigarettte lighters

and didn't cut myself. But i was also into skating, and when I got frustrated with the world, etc... (This was in the Regan Years in L.A.) I would grab my board, go out and go at 110% (or turn it up to 11, if you wish...) and go until I had nothing left inside.

It really is more about getting out what bothers you, rather than a scream for attention.

Emo? Well, I say that might just be the SOURCE of their problems, but that's because I still listen to Duane Peters, still go at 110% when I have to get 'it' out of my system, and whining about shit doesn't change it.

But I am not so polite as some people would wish I were.

[malaise]

13. Why don't they take all that sugar loaded

food and drink out of the schools. Good fugging grief.

[femmedem]

14. I used to cut myself as a teen after I was kidnapped and raped.

For me, it didn't have anything to do with expressing pain or anger. Nobody ever knew, so it couldn't have been about expression.

It did help me feel normal, though. I was close to suicidal. I would hold the blade to my skin, focus, and slice just enough to leave a mark, but not to injure myself.

I think it calmed me in two ways. First, I was making a choice to not cut too deeply: I was choosing to keep living. And second, focusing so intently, on both the cutting and the resulting physical pain, took me out of my darkly obsessive thoughts. My own version of shock therapy.

I knew it was a crazy thing to do, and I felt ashamed about it.

From this many years in the future, it seems like a dream that I ever behaved this way.

[noonwitch]

17. Cutting and other self-abuse is really common with teenage girls who have been sexually traumatized

I'm a foster care worker, I see it. Delinquents do it sometimes, too, because a lot of kids who are delinquents are kids who slipped through the cracks of the child protection system.

[femmedem]

36. Thank you for doing the work you do. n/t

[femmedem]

48. Maybe also it's a way of processing trauma?

Reliving trauma, with control, until it loses its power? Related to sexually traumatized young people disproportionately becoming sex workers.

You would think that since I used to do this, I would understand it better.

[lapislzi]

20. I am sorry for your pain

I know how much you must have been suffering to want to injure yourself. (By the way, it's not crazy at all...you chose to keep living. That's a healthy choice).

I hope that you are healing.

Peace to you.

:grouphug:

[femmedem]

34. Thank you. It was decades ago.

And although it has colored who I am, it no longer pains me. Once in a great while I feel the faintest flickerings of PTSD--shortness of breath or elevated heart rate when remembering--but overall I have a full, rich, happy life.

Glad I never cut too deep. :)

[Broken_Hero]

47. ..........

:hug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

18. Is this anything like masochism?

From what I understand of the disorder, a person feels they deserve to be punished, so they push someone else to inflict the pain and they feel relieved by it?

[Dulcinea]

19. Question:

What exactly does "emo" mean? I've heard the term but am not familiar with it.

[lapislzi]

28. It started with a genre of music

and spilled over into the total identity arena. It's gone quite mainstream in the last few years. And please forgive me if I sound like an old fart. I am very nearly one, but I'm trying to get my head around it because of my daughter.

Emo (or emocore, as I understand it), is pop-punk type hardcore music (screaming guitars) with highly emotionally charged lyrics. Representative bands include Fallout Boy, Taking Back Sunday, and Hawthorne Heights.

There's a whole fashion thing associated with emo: dark clothing (how original), black hair worn across the eyes (cut on the diagonal), skinny pants, lots of dark makeup, especially thick black eyeliner (even on the boys). People sometimes confuse emo kids with goth kids, but it's not the same thing, although the look is similar. Emo has more punk elements.

Emo kids write lots of poetry (which is not necessarily a bad thing!), and brood a lot, which is typical for young teenagers.

Cutting has become part of the subculture, because they're so...emotional, you know? And I say this with affection, as the parent of an emo kid.

[Dulcinea]

42. Thanks! eom

[theboss]

21. I will never understand this habit

I feel like I can relate to most types of mental illness, since I think we all have a bit of those desires/feelings/issues inside of us to one degree or another.

This...I just don't get.

[seabeyond]

27. it is a feel of self power in a feeling of powerless. it is the same

control and power a kid feels with themselves with eating disorder. they have absolutely no power and control in teir world, but they do with this.

[lapislzi]

37. Exactly. It's a form of self-validation

in a sham world.

Among other things (see post #15).

How different is it from adults drinking to dull the pain?

[w8liftinglady]

23. I used to see this a lot when I worked Pedi(20 yr ago)

I always felt it was the teen's effort to gain some control over their environment.It was almost exclusively girls..although that may not be the case today.They were almost always very sweet,shy submissive girls.We always referred them for whatever counseling was available.This was in Abilene,Texas-and not much was available in adolescent counseling at the time.

[lapislzi]

44. The number of boys doing it is on the rise

Although there's a preponderance of adolescent girls. My daughter is sweet and smart...and anything but submissive!

Wow...TX...that's a challenge. Even here in metro NY, it's not as well understood as it should be. One therapist wanted to hospitalize and medicate (Prozac) my daughter. Said therapist was promptly dismissed. I had to shop for quite awhile before I found a therapist who understands the disorder.

[WinkyDink]

25. These are kids; it's not funny. Whiny adults who go to therapy for years, now THAT might

be funny.

No? REALLY? Then why mock kids who might not have the wherewithal to get outside help?

[The2ndWheel]

29. Is there more of this in today's world?

As we become more of a distant and psychological society, is something like this related to that? Is the psychological challenge more of a burden than a physical one?

[lapislzi]

30. In some ways, it's the neurosis du jour

Back in the 80s and 90s we had eating disorders. Every third girl had one. Before that (my era), we were drinking ourselves stupid, or doping ourselves with all manner of recreational supplements, or fucking ourselves blind. I remember my teenage years as being inordinately painful, and that's why I can have empathy for the girl who cuts.

I don't mean to sound flippant (my daughter cuts; I am close to this issue), but these psychological issues have been around for decades, and seem disproportionately to affect teenage girls. They keep coming up with more creative ways to express their pain, and to fuck themselves up in the process.

Hm. What are we, and our sick society, doing to our girls? What have we wrought? Kids in so much pain that they feel the need to injure themselves.

[The2ndWheel]

32. That's what I mean

It's been like this for decades(or maybe longer, that's what I'm asking), with various ways of dealing with it. Is there something that we're doing, in how we mold our reality, that causes this? Whatever it ends up being; cutting, drugs(legal or illegal), eating, drinking, sex, etc.

[lapislzi]

33. Take a look at our media

And the superficiality, the shallowness of everything around us. Kids are subjected to unimaginable pressures from advertisers--it's a constant bombardment. It was bad when we were kids (I don't know how old you are, but I grew up in the 70s). They've got short attention spans, too much sugar, parents who are scrambling from one job to the next just to make ends meet, a health care "industry" that's more interested in medicating them than in treating them; I'm rambling here, and I've barely scratched the surface.

We did this with our "culture"; with our greed, with our fetishization of goods and our images, with our mixed messages.

The disaffection doesn't surprise me at all. In fact, I'm surprised it's not worse.

[all.of.me]

31. this seems to be pretty common in middle school.

a girl in the middle school where my 12 year old goes and where i work is TEACHING kids how to cut themselves. it seems to be a 'cool' thing. sick.

when my 16 year old was in middle school, this was reported more than once, too.

i don't know what's behind it. i do not remember any of this when i was in middle school (40 years ago).

[MedleyMisty]

35. I did it when I worked at Arby's

It was the only way I could function, because that place drove me insane.

And sigh - it's trivialized just like eating disorders. It's not "emo" and it's not a fad. Like EDs, it's a negative coping mechanism.

When I worked at Arby's life was shit, basically. And I had no other way to deal.

[lapislzi]

43. Tying it in with emo is not trivializing it

Cutting is undeniably a facet of emo subculture. That statement is not intended to trivialize the pain people legitimately feel. There is a need, however, for parents and others, to place this behavior in a context.

And yes, the profile is similar to that of the ED. Again, not intended to trivialize, but to see within a context. Cutting is happening now; meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Same pain, new way of dealiing. Not trivializing--just trying to understand.

You are right that it is a maladaptive coping mechanism, but for the record, I would say it's better than some I've seen.

I am sorry for your pain. There's nothing trivial about cutting, and I hope you were able to get the help you needed (and glad you're not working at Arby's!)

[Jonathan50]

41. Humans are social animals

It's no surprise that "shunning" was one of the most severe penalties that could be handed out by certain religious communities.

In high school back in the late 60's I didn't fit in any of the social groups, the jocks, the kewl kidz or even the nerds. I ended up becoming a hippy because they were all weird and if you were weird too you fit in just fine, it didn't really matter what kind of weird you were. The fact that I enjoyed some of the recreational drugs commonly used by hippies was just a bonus.

I suspect that these kids are those who just don't fit into any of the normal social groups and are looking to find a group of people with whom they can identify. Obviously that isn't the entire thrust of this behavior but I would be surprised if finding a social group and identity had nothing to do with this.