***DUzy Awards for week ending November 16, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-16-07 08:53 PM
Original message

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring gaudy gambolling, gregarious gags and gleeful grotesquerie from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The vertiginous DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to Viva_La_Revolution, krispos42, oktoberain, BleedingHeartPatriot, Yael, Michigander4Dean, hootinholler, Bluebear, babylonsister, mzmolly, unhappycamper, dicksteele, Kurovski, Peake, Hissyspit, AZDemDist6, sfexpat2000, MrCoffee, bridgit, stellanoir, Heidi, chimpsrsmarter and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

OP by mcscajun:

It's time for...Freeper Categories on Jeopardy!
Inspired by a thread on a DUer's appearance on Jeopardy this week...Add your own; this is a game everyone can play! Two DUers have started us off with the following:

SoCalDem: "Alex, I'll take Port-a-potty Etiquette for a thousand."

samplegirl: "I'll take Science for a Thousand...Alex...What does only God know?"
That's the question to every answer...

This thread should be read in its entirety. For simplicity's sake, let's just say every response nets a DUzy, though some are DUzier than others.

The Lounge, November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7122374

On a thread by Sequoia:

Name a product you liked but is not around anymore.

response #110 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

Democracy...
It was way cool -- here's how it worked. Everybody had a right to this thing called a vote. And once or twice a year everybody would get together and put all their votes together, and they'd count them. By hand. And whoever got the most votes won and got to be in charge.

Wicked.

The Lounge, November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7117671

On a thread by BurtWorm:

Waitress in a new "Clinton doesn't tip" story to reporter: �You people are really nuts.�

response #11 by Dr.Phool:

Give that woman a cigar!
The media is nuts!

If it weren't for 9-11, we'd still be hearing about Gary Condit and Chandra Levy.

GD, November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2245132

OP by 11 Bravo:

      Bush: I go to bed early and sleep like a baby.
One can only hope this means that he wakes up crying every hour, and regularly shits himself.

response #4 by SeattleGirl:

      Babs isn't still nursing him, is she?
:scared:

response #6 by 11 Bravo:

      Thanks for that visual!

response #18 by Cleita:

      A fifth of Johnny Walker every night will accomplish that.
He sure looks and sounds like it the next day when he has to go out in public.

response #20 by Whisp:

      and talks like one, ga ga goo goo, war war

GD, November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2249728

On a thread by notmyprez:

      John McCain says, "If you want to relive Woodstock, buy the record."

response #2 by Heaven and Earth:

      "The record"?
I guess he is competing with the Fred Thompson for the curmudgeon vote. Tomorrow, he'll announce his plan to force those punk kids to get off of the American lawn.

response #7 by Kurovski:

      And if you want to relive Vietnam, buy a ticket to Iraq.

response #17 by MichaelHarris:

      Hey John
if you want to relive the 50s buy The Leave it to Beaver boxed set.

GDP, November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3703579

On a thread by NeoConsSuck:

      Oil discovery rocks Brazil
"A huge offshore oil discovery could raise Brazil's petroleum reserves by a whopping 40 percent and boost this country into the ranks of the world's major exporters, officials said..."

response #3 by Uben:

      In other news-
Bush begins plans to invade Brazil!

response #7 by regnaD kciN:

      Yep...they've got Carnivals of Mass Destruction...
We can't wait for the smoking gun in the form of a samba cloud!

LBN, November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3060168

On a thread by FitzmasAgain:

      Appreciate the DU lounge!

response #8 by Canuckistanian:

      There's a "Lounge" here?
I have heard the elders speak of it many moons ago. Some say that it was destroyed during the Great Tombstone Event of 2004.

I shall go on a vision quest for this mythical land of kudzu, Carrot Top and cute kitten posts.

And who is this "Beck" of which you speak? A mighty warrior? A powerful medicine man?

In the meantime, I caution you all to be brave and wait for the signs.

response #42 by impeachdubya:

      What, is the lounge like the Army, now?
Enlistments down for you guys, or something? ;-)

The Lounge (moved from GD), November 9, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7123647

On a thread by NinetySix:

      Imagine voting Republican...
If the Religious Right could take over the Republican Party back in '88, perhaps progressives and liberals could make a bid for the crumbling GOP...

response #1 by citizen_jane:

      Not gonna do it.
Wouldn't be prudent.
My head will explode
into a thousand points
of light.
:silly:

response #3 by Whisp:

      imagine voting redemlicant

response #11 by Naturyl:

      I have a pretty good imagination.
I can imagine Dennis Kucinich actually winning. I can imagine discovering life on other worlds. I can imagine human consciousness being transferred to non-biological media. I can imagine time looping back on itself so that the universe is the cause of its own creation. I can imagine large pieces of furniture spontaneously bursting out of my ass.

But nope, I just can't imagine this.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2251042

On a thread by MLFerrell:

This is how STONEHENGE and the PYRAMIDS were built...
"I am a retired carpenter with 35 years experience in construction...

I found that I, working alone, could easily move a 2400 lb. block 300 ft. per hour with little effort, and a 10,000 lb. block at 70 ft. per hour. I also stood two 8 ft. 2400 lb. blocks on end and placed another 2400 lb. block on top. This took about two hours per block. I found that one man, working by himself, without the use of wheels, rollers, pulleys, or any type of hoisting equipment could perform the task..."

http://www.theforgottentechnology.com/newpage1

response #5 by Orsino:

And I suppose the flying saucers just sat there doing nothing?
Not bloody likely.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread...

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2251761

OP by Michigander4Dean:

Dear Senator Obama:
Grow up.

Sincerely, Michigander4Dean

GDP, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3705342

OP by Truth2Tell:

      DK may have seen a UFO, but Hillary
saw a CEO.

Just sayin'

response #5 by lvx35:

      Hey, cut the crazy talk
Everybody knows CEOs aren't real! ;)

response #7 by Naturyl:

      I filed a CEO report once
It was followed by a visit from the Men in Black who told me never to speak of it, and also that my health care claim had been denied.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2251146

On a thread by rodeodance:

      Thompson: Reduce future retiree benefits
"Republican presidential hopeful Fred Thompson on Friday proposed reducing benefits promised to future retirees and establishing a system of voluntary personal retirement accounts under Social Security to help shore up the program's finances.

'If somebody's got a better idea let them put it on the table,' said the former Tennessee senator in a challenge to fellow Republicans as well as Democrats vying for the White House in 2008..."

response #12 by Orsino:

      He's helpless here, a victim of two tenets of Republican dogma.
1. There's a Social Security crisis.
2. You can't raise tax rates, ever.

Either one of these points, in isolation, can cause a politician to act like an idiot. Try to hold onto both of them simultaneously, and it's not an act.

response #24 by MilesColtrane:

      Freddy just fried himself on the third rail of American politics.
Eeewww!

Smells like burnt Aqua Velva and prunes.

LBN, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3061421

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci:

      The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck gives birth to a 7 lb., 15 oz. bouncing baby Freeper boy
"'View' co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a baby boy on Friday, ABC announced, but you're going to have to wait to find out the name. Can you stand it?

The conservative mouthpiece's son weighs in at 7 pounds, 15 ounces, but Hasselbeck is waiting to reveal the name until Monday -- when she'll call into 'The View' and share the name with her friends and all of America. Is there no end to the excitement?"

response #2 by Enrique:

      I bet she'll name him Rosie

response #16 by gratuitous:

      Noooo . . .
Adolph.

response #11 by mcscajun:

      Like the wicked fairy uninvited, I offer this enchantment...
"Child, may you grow up to become a Democrat." :evilgrin:

response #15 by TahitiNu:

      And may he celebrate his 20th birthday marching in a Gay Pride Parade
... with his husband. :party:

response #23 by madamesilverspurs:

      She claims to be very religious,
so she'll likely choose a saint's name.

Ronald Reagan Hasselbeck.

response #25 by wienerdoggie:

      I am trying to care....Nope, I cannot.

response #39 by Oeditpus Rex:

      Asshat Hasselbeck
Has a kind of fluidity to it, doesn't it?

This kind:

:puke:

response #42 by quantessd:

      Just wait until some idiot actually names their baby "Freeper"
In a country so vast and so nutty, you know someone will call their baby "Freep"!
:rofl:

response #43 by temeah:

      Lord knows there aren't enough DUdleys
:hi:

response #46 by quantessd:

      Freepbert, Freepton for boys. FreepAnne, Jennifreep for girls.
:rofl:

The Lounge (moved from GD), November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7124364

On a thread by kingofalldems:

      Why does Bush seem to wear the Presidential Seal on every
article of clothing? It says something but as I am not a psychologist, I can't figure it out. Is there a doctor in the house who can explain this phenomenon?

response #3 by rug:

      He had the seal put on the back of his underwear so he'd know which way to put them on.

response #5 by MonkeyFunk:

      In case he wanders off...
people will know to return him to the Oval Office.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2253817

On a thread by graywarrior:

      Nothing

response #3 by Perry Logan:

      I was just thinking the same thing.

response #12 by flvegan:

      What is Bush's value as both a president and a human being, Alex?
Are we still playing Jeopardy?

response #31 by mycritters2:

      Kicked and recommended, Graywarrior
I'm all about nothing!

response #37 by graywarrior:

      Thanks for nothing.
:rofl:

response #33 by Tuesday Afternoon:

      ain't worth nothing, but its free
on edit...I learned this from Bobby McGee.

response #35 by stirlingsliver:

      Is Nothing Sacred?
I need to know:

Is Nothing Sacred?

Or Not?

response #41 by Southpawkicker:

      now it is in the lounge
and not on the greatest :(

and not anywhere

but

the

LOUNGE!!!!!!!

:cry:

that isn't fair :(

response #43 by rug:

      They threw it back wrapped in stained newspaper.

response #48 by trof:

      Dupe
There's a thread on this in GD.
:rofl:

response #66 by Maestro:

      Is there something you are not telling me?
:shrug:

response #67 by graywarrior:

      There is nothing I'm not telling you.

The Lounge (moved from GD & from the Greatest Page), November 6, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7124484

On a thread by Auntie Bush:

      Bush is on C-SPAN now looking like he's off his meds.

response #3 by cliss:

      Thanks for sharing that bit of news
Now if he could just have a thermonuclear meltdown in front of the world, I would feel a whole lot better.

response #5 by Naturyl:

      Probably jonesing for a bottle of MD 20/20 (n/t)

GDP, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3705746

On a thread by lynyrd_skynyrd:

The Department of Peace - What's wrong with it?

response #12 by slowry:

The name.
Peace is a dirty word in 2007.

You want to go with "The Department of War is Awesome, but Lets Take a Breather Now and Then".

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2255195

On a thread by ruggerson:

RimJob On Ghouliani
"To: Jean S

Rudy is a wife cheating family wrecking liar. A Planned Parenthood abortionist liar. A cross-dressing gay rights activist liar. A constitution trampling gun grabbing liar. A rule of law ignoring sanctuary city making liar. A draft dodging cowardly liar. A goon squad Kerik hiring corrupt liar.

8 posted on 11/09/2007 4:28:05 PM PST by Jim Robinson (Our God-given unalienable rights are not open to debate, negotiation or compromise!)"

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1923600/posts#8

response #5 by TomInTib:

OK, I'll admit it. I am a Gun Nut.
But I have never seen (or heard of) a "constitution trampling gun".

Maybe it is like a Gatling Gun with jackboots on its tripod feet.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2254961

Poll question by Naturyl:

      Hillary Clinton vs A Bag of Hammers
Since we're doing this, why not get right down to the nitty-gritty?

For the record, this poll is intended as satire. I'm not a Clinton supporter, but creating these polls to show that anybody can get more support than Clinton is getting old, no?

Hillary is #8 of 8 on my preference list. But excessive Hillary-bashing could come back to haunt us next year, don't you think?

If we can't have "Kucinich '08," then let's at least have "a DEMOCRAT '08." Not Ron Paul, not Ralph Nader, and not a bag of hammers. But hey, since people insist, let the voting begin...

:bluebox: Hillary Clinton

:bluebox: A bag of hammers

response #3 by fenriswolf:

      bag o' hammers stands strong on the issues
and crushes his opponents, we need a strong candidate to put all the pin heads in congress in place.

response #6 by baldguy:

      Is A Bag of Hammers a declared Democratic candidate?

response #7 by MNDemNY:

      Yes, it is. Bag officially declared last night.
On "This Old House"

response #9 by baldguy:

      So he's good on domestic issues, huh?

response #10 by MNDemNY:

      Yes, a little heavy handed, at times,though.

response #13 by baldguy:

      And hard-headed too, I suppose.
Well, there's good & bad with that.

response #15 by MNDemNY:

      Sometimes he really gets his claws out.

response #8 by MNDemNY:

      As should be expected, Bag o' Hammers has just played the "tool" card.

response #21 by dweller:

      the results obviously
have nailed it.

response #31 by RufusTFirefly:

      I'm sick and tired of these divisive bag-of-hammers bashing threads!!
Why do some posters use every possible opportunity to bash a bag of hammers? Don't you realize how self-destructive that is?!

response #35 by Enrique:

      it's Hammer time!
:bounce:

response #48 by Czolgosz:

      what a snide poll (trying to divide the tool vote - you should be ashamed!)

response #49 by DuStrange:

      I'm glad someone else saw that.
The OP is clearly a corporate tool. We need to stop screwing around and letting outsiders chisel away at our community.
You know the drill.

More heady responses in the thread. At press time, "A bag of hammers" was winning with 77% of the votes.

GDP, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3705901

Poll question by Bleachers7:

Hillary Clinton vs. Me
Full Disclosure: I am not old enough to be president yet.

:bluebox: Hillary Clinton

:bluebox: Bleachers7

response #3 by Naturyl:

I voted Hillary, because...
You ruined my "bag of hammers" poll! :P

At press time, "Bleachers7" was winning with 64% of the votes.

GDP, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3706483

On a thread by OzarkDem:

Dems who call themselves "centrist"
It appears to be a rather slippery definition, one that's used more often to disagree with another Dem's POV than to actually define a set of values or policies.

Can those who disparage progressive Dems and call themselves more "centrist" help us Dems out a little and give us an idea of what
you define as "centrist" policies?

response #14 by Blue-Jay:

I'm not aware of anyone who refers to themselves as a "centrist".
But I see people called that on a daily basis here. Usually it happens when someone says something like:

"Al Gore isn't going to run."
"I'll vote for the Dem nominee, even if it's not Kucinich."
"Impeachment is not a constitutional requirement."
"Nader-voters are not the sharpest knives in the drawer."
"No, those aren't chemtrails."

See? Any of those statements will get someone labeled a "centrist" by the -ahem- more strident members of DU, but that doesn't necessarily make it true.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2255765

OP by Bucky:

To be fair, I do think Arnold would actually make a pretty good president

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2254587

Poll question by Boojatta:

      What do you know or suspect about Jesus and McCain?

:bluebox: Jesus is a Muslim and Senator John McCain has a lot in common with Jesus. In particular, Senator John McCain is also a Muslim.

:bluebox: Jesus is a Muslim, but Senator John McCain is quite different from Jesus. In particular, Senator John McCain cannot be considered a Muslim.

:bluebox: Nobody knows whether or not Jesus is a Muslim, but Senator John McCain can deny being a Muslim. After Senator McCain dies, he is up for grabs.

:bluebox: Jesus isn't a Muslim. Anyone who says otherwise is confused or lying. However, Senator John McCain is a Muslim.

:bluebox: None of the above

response #3 by doublethink:

      .....
Jesus is a Revolutionary, Bush is Satan, McCain is an Idiot, Lieberman is a dooooooooosh!

response #5 by tomg:

      K and R
Just because it is one of the saner things I've come across recently.

response #16 by ileus:

      WTH is this poll about?

response #20 by Boojatta:

      Poll Wars: The Democratic Party Strikes Back
They're thinking of casting Mel Gibson as Senator McCain, and James Earl Jones as Senator Obama. Bad idea?

response #22 by Boojatta:

      Sorry, it's too late for additional recommendations for this thread.
However, there is hope. I might post threads on related topics in the future. While they are fresh, there will be a chance to recommend them to the Greatest Page.

Great poll or greatest poll ever? That is the question. At press time, "None of the above" was winning with 50% of the votes.

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2254194

OP by Boojatta:

McCain not endorsing Giuliani, at least not yet...
In a surprise move, Senator John McCain has announced that he is supporting his own candidacy.

Insiders are speculating that this decision is connected with his recent announcement that he is willing to vote for a Muslim candidate for President.

After all, why should his religion prevent him from voting for himself?

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2255431

OP by pirhana:

      Finish this sentence: You know you are a political junkie when -
My answer - when you've heard all of their stories 10x already!

response #2 by wienerdoggie:

      ...When you're posting on a political forum at 10:30 on a Saturday night.
How effin' sad is that? LOL!

response #12 by mzmolly:

      Even sadder at
10:45 :P

response #3 by gateley:

      Listening to Pelosi drone you find yourself thinking she sounds a little like Debbie Reynolds. nt

response #8 by Gregorian:

      You tell the cashier at the grocery store that we need a voter paper trail.

response #16 by NJCher:

      When your betting consists of
Laying odds on the next political sex scandal instead of some action in the arena of professional football.

response #18 by alfredo:

      You still have your 1992 Clinton Gore Sticker on your car.

response #22 by NanceGreggs:

      You know you're a pol junkie when ...
Every time anyone says anything to you, you connect it to a politician, e.g. "That is so Obama," "That is too Biden," "That is so totally Hillary."

Your first thought when someone says or does something obnoxious is: "Must be a Republican."

You check DU one last time before you go to bed at 3:00 a.m., because maybe something important happened since the last time you checked at 2:56 a.m.

response #25 by ginchinchili:

      When you keep telling yourself to give the political blogs a break...
and your "break" turns out to be just long enough to go to the bathroom.

response #30 by NobleCynic:

      When you've actually played drinking games to CSPAN

response #32 by Perry Logan:

      ...you actually know who this Biden guy is.

response #33 by NoPasaran:

      You know you are a political junkie when -
Shopping for a new vehicle, you calculate how many yard signs will fit in the back.

GDP, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3706327

Poll question by Mark E. Smith:

      Q) How Many On-Line Progessives Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

:bluebox: Why should we? It's all Hillary's Fault!

:bluebox: None. Lightbulbs are made by corporations.

:bluebox: Noam Chomsky has never written on this subject, therefore it doesn't exist.

:bluebox: 4. One to change it and 3 to talk about how much better it was in the 60s.

:bluebox: 5. One to screw it in, one to watch, and 3 to blame the DLC for it going out in the first place.

:bluebox: None. They don't make cloth diapers small enough.

:bluebox: We don't fix problems, we just like to point them out.

:bluebox: None. It's not the lightbulb that needs changing!

:bluebox: A small group to hold the bulb as the world revolves around them.

:bluebox: One, but only after you've presented the problem in terms they are comfortable with.

response #2 by Basileus Basileon:

      Is it really "changing" the lightbulb if we just replace it with
another corporate-manufactured lightbulb? Changing it is just legitimizing the system.

response #4 by BOSSHOG:

      NONE (not needed)
A progressive lights up any room he/she walks into.

response #6 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

      None. The "moderates" have turned us all in to the FBI.

response #11 by TahitiNut:

      Changing lightbulbs is off the table. It takes too much time to change lightbulbs.
We have more important work to do than change lightbulbs. No corporation will take the contract - there's no profit in it. Proposals to change lightbulbs only come from those without vision. If we changed that lightbulb, we'd still have a dimbulb.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread. At press time, "We don't fix problems, we just like to point them out." was winning with 41% of the votes.

GD, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2258403

On a thread by lildreamer316:

Leonardo painting has coded 'soundtrack'
"It's a new Da Vinci code, but this time it could be for real. An Italian musician and computer technician claims to have uncovered musical notes encoded in Leonardo Da Vinci's 'Last Supper,' raising the possibility that the Renaissance genius might have left behind a somber composition to accompany the scene depicted in the 15th-century wall painting..."

response #3 by Adenoid_Hynkel:

and strangely enough, it's the theme to "The Jeffersons"
the wonders of leo never cease

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

The Lounge, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7128012

On a thread by Ishoutandscream2:

Mike Huckabee is religiously insane

response #15 by hootinholler:

His being republican, your headline is redundant. n/t

GD, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2258275

On a thread by sabra:

Rep. Tancredo releases new TV ad portraying a terrorist exploding a bomb in a mall.

response #4 by Solly Mack:

He should do one wearing a Captain G - WOT outfit where he captures bin Laden
Have a Saturday cartoon made about him....

Captain G-WOT. He's so patriotic his ass whistles the Star Spangled Banner

GD, November 12, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2266795

OP by mainegreen:

Serious question about the DU Candidate Elections.
First off, I like voting. I wish I could vote every day. However, I have some concerns about this 'Fun Run'. Where is the paper trail? How can I trust that the voting software actually is counting my vote fairly? The results so far aren't matching the exit polls exactly as I expected. I mean, come ON! Hairdo guy in first place? Clearly this software has back doors that are allowing vote manipulation on the fly.

In fact, if you're as observant as I am, you will notice that, fortunately, the developers appear to have slipped up and exposed their back door protocols directly!! It appears Elad forgot to turn off the debugging flag and these back doors, known by such amusing names as 'MONKEYSHINE' and 'TWEET-DOWN', are actually in the voting software! It even shows the name of his stoogies who have logged in to activate these back door features! I recommend everyone taking a screen-shot and posting it far and wide on the net to expose this charade! I expect that once the Admins mistake is known the evidence of this vote fraud will be covered up. The central database will 'mysteriously' crash. EarlG will 'lose' the backups. Skinner will have been 'conveniently' home the whole time with his wife and kid, if they even really exist!!

It's time we all stood up and demanded that a paper trail be implemented, and that all vote tallying software be opened to public inspection and certification! America deserves it!

The Lounge, November 12, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7129137

On a thread by RamboLiberal:

      Women Gathering At Homes For 'Taser' Parties
"Groups of women are gathering at homes across America for Taser parties, where the guns are presented with wine and cheese, similar to earlier Tupperware parties.

A host at the parties explains the value of owning a personal Taser gun and then women are allowed to look at and handle the devices, which include a metallic pink gun.

Lisa Rigberg, who hosted a recent Taser party in an upscale Arizona neighborhood, said the guns are a must-have for women.

'It's light, it's small and it comes in colors,' Rigberg said. 'But if you know you are going to be in a certain situation where you might be uncomfortable, why not have it with you? It just makes you more confident...'"

response #2 by Sugar Smack:

      My pink mother-of-pearl dinner gun comes with its own matching sequined
handbag. I also added strawberry-scented mace to my collection. And the baby quiches served at the function were divine. Got to cut out chocolate for the rest of the month, now. (One moment on the lips, a lifetime on the love handles).

:rofl: :cry: :rofl: :cry: :rofl: :cry:

response #3 by iconoclastic cat:

      This brings new meaning to "feminine protection." nt

response #21 by Atman:

      Man, I'd hate to come home late in one of these households!
Honey, I was just working late at the offiiiccciixncioanocnjaoicnaoicnaoinclGAAAAAAGGHGHGHHAHAHGHA!

response #54 by MrMickeysMom:

      Aint this ridiculous?
Well, unless, ofcourse, we women think to coordinate the colors of things you carry in a purse. Nothing's worse than pulling out what you thought was your chocolate color taser gun and you end up aiming your purple phone instead. Oops.... Maybe Apple can simplify it all in the next edition of their iPhone.

They can call it the "iGroan".

GD, November 12, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2266789

Poll question by Old Crusoe:

Should Tom DeLay return to Congress?

:bluebox: No.

At press time, "No." was winning with 100% of the votes.

GD, November 12, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2268877

OP by IndianaJones:

      this dude on the radio said I should be afraid of the gay mafia. since when....
did the gay community get their own organized crime syndicate?

he also said illegal immigrants are the reason for the "super bugs" showing up in our hospitals and emergency rooms.

he also claimed to have the #3 syndicated radio show in the USA.

yeah...this country ain't filled to the brim with bigots.

response #2 by Neecy:

      I'm a member of the gay mafia...
I even named my two Pomeranians Guido and Luigi. They're cute and work as my strongmen whenever I'm shaking down a straight person.

response #5 by ayeshahaqqiqa:

      150 years ago
he would have been a newspaper editor saying that Catholics or Masons were an organized crime syndicate.

Chinese or Irish or Germans were the reason people were getting sick in cities.

And he'd claim to have a huge circulation (which was only a claim)

And he would be known, then and now, as a humbug.

response #18 by terrya:

      Well, hell, we control Hollywood
Through our cutthroat "Velvet Mafia".

We really wield enormous power in this country.

Oops...me and my big mouth.

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2273043

On a poll by redqueen:

So, what do you do when you see someone who's down?

response #5 by In NYC?:

Pat them down to see if they still have their wallet. If so, take it.

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2273135

OP excerpt by Skinner:

Frequently Asked Questions about the DU FUN RUN (Please Read and Recommend)
Will Al Gore be competing in the Fun Run?

So far, Al Gore has declined our repeated invitations to participate in the DU Fun Run, citing a long list of previous engagements related to his climate change activism, his Nobel Prize, his Academy Award, and his Silicon Valley startup. Nonetheless, when pressed by DU operatives working at the Financial Times, he did not entirely close the door on the possibility of a late entry into the race, stating: "I have not made a Sherman statement."

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2273404

OP by Earth_First:

I want 10,000 text written messages delivered to my inbox or I am taking DU off the table!

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2276033

On a thread by IanDB1:

      Fleeing Robbery Suspect Eaten By Alligator
"A Florida man police said was breaking into cars at Miccosukee Resort and Gaming was attacked and killed by a 9-foot alligator while trying to run from police.

Investigators said officers responded to reports of car break-ins at a Miccosukee Indian Reservation parking lot located at 500 S.W. 177th Ave. in Miami.

One of the men was quickly captured by officers during the incident last week but the other robbery suspect tried to elude officer by jumping into a large pond behind the facility, according to a WJXT-TV report.

During the swim, police said, an alligator attacked and killed the man. He was apparently bitten on the head several times..."

response #1 by DS1:

      nom nom nom

response #6 by Der Blaue Engel:

      All things being equal
I think I'd rather do the time.

response #11 by Skidmore:

      At last, a Floridian who wasn't tasered fleeing from the cops.
Progress.

response #27 by smoogatz:

      "Justice is served,"
said the gator, burping a little. "And it was delicious."

response #32 by Toasterlad:

      I Cannot Believe You're All Condoning the Flagrant Excessive Force That Gator Used.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2271467

On a thread by kurth:

Man gets 4 years in prison for spying on wife's email

response #1 by aquart:

Yet George walks free for reading mine.
And we're not even dating.

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2276653

OP by Tejanocrat:

If Willard and Huckabible finish 1 & 2 in Iowa, will Ghouliani, McCraven, Hollywood or Mad Doc Paul
finish in a campaign-ending 6th place embarrassment?

Who will it be?

Will 5th place in Iowa also be a campaign-in-the-toilet fiasco for one of the Repubs, and if so, who will it be?

GDP, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3718798

OP title by graywarrior:

Tweety! Buchanan! STFU, OMG!!!!!

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2283303

On a thread by Bluebear:

      It's a miracle! Jesus and Mary appear on a pancake to tell the world to "clean up its act"
"A Port St. Lucie woman said she saw Jesus Christ in her breakfast.

Marilyn Smith told WPBF News 25 that she was making breakfast on Sunday morning when she got a spiritual surprise: a faint image resembling Jesus and Mary on her pancake. 'I saw what looked like, possibly, what people may imagine Jesus would look like, or Moses,' Smith said...

Smith's daughter, Dana Okane, told WPBF that she recognized the figures as soon as she saw them.

'Being a very spiritual person, which I am, when I saw that, I said, "Jesus and Mary!",' Okane told WPBF.Okane told WPBF that she thinks the image is a message from God.

'I think the message is extremely clear that the world had better clean up its act,' Okane said.

Okane is now selling the holy cake on Internet auction site eBay with a starting bid of $35. (It sold for $338.00)..."

response #1 by liberal N proud:

      The message is extremely clear that Marilyn Smith needs a new griddle

response #8 by marmar:

      At least they didn't appear in the eggs......
Then the message would have been: "Cholesterol kills!"

response #13 by malaise:

      Oh fugging Aunt Jemima
spare me from these buttermilk lunatics.

response #20 by SoCalDem:

      Um.. don't you mean SAINT Jemima and her husband, the Rev. Uncle Ben
:)

response #48 by mwb970:

      You would think Jesus & Mary would appear in classier places.
This business of turning up in low-rent food items and as stains under highway bridges and so on is just demeaning. I think they should go back to appearing in the clouds - it's so much more celestial, somehow.

The Lounge (moved from GD), November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7135856

Poll question by MidwestTransplant:

      How long until Rudy claims he prevented 911

:bluebox: He already did

:bluebox: Before the Florida Primary

:bluebox: Before the Iowa Caucuses

:bluebox: Huh, he did prevent 911

response #1 by Bicoastal:

      Without Rudy leading the way...
...it would have gone up to 915 or possibly 920

response #3 by damntexdem:

      Hey, he put the emergency services in a building likely to be targeted; ...
and it was targeted.

So, in effect, he did prevent 9-1-1.

At press time, "Huh, he did prevent 911" was winning with 100% of the votes.

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2282305

On a thread by babylonsister:

      "P" is for ...
"Not looking good for State Department Inspector General 'Cookie' Krongard. Today he told the House Oversight Committee that his brother wasn't on the Blackwater advisory board. Then when he was later confronted with news to the contrary, he said he'd only just found out and would henceforth recuse himself from all Blackwater inquiries.

But Spencer Ackerman just interviewed Krongard's brother, 'Buzzy' Krongard, who told Spencer that he definitely did tell his brother all about it. Only a few weeks ago apparently.

Perjury charges have been made of much less..."

response #1 by SalmonChantedEvening:

      Crumbling case leaves Cookie jarred.
:yoiks:

response #3 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

      Cookie and Buzzy? All they need is Curly to make a 3 some.

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2282420

OP by MonkeyFunk:

      Today's pet peeve: uncreative flaming
I mean, really, people.

"Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton"?

"Why are XXX's supporters such douchenozzles?"

"Unbelievable dirty tricks!!!! So-and-so said such-and-such about whatsisface!!!!"

At least TRY a little!

response #6 by dropkickpa:

      Poop-heads!!
Dookie-juice suckers!
Mr. Fartysons!
Dog butts!

I know a lot of extremely off-color and creative insults (not to mention anatomically difficult if not impossible), but am, for some reason, restraining myself today to Dropkid's favorites.

response #7 by redqueen:

      How about if WE just CAPITALIZE some words RANDOMLY?!
HUH? How's THAT?!

That's what *I* do, anyway. :P

response #22 by Forkboy:

      I hate uncreative insults.
I've been called Fuckboy and dorkboy, but that's bush league stuff. My father once called me the Hannibal Lector of freeloaders. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! :D

The Lounge, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7136673

On a thread by kpete:

      US bridge team faces penalty for anti-Bush sign
"The bridge world is in an absolute tizzy over the impromptu protest of the world champion U.S. women�s team, which held up a sign during its victory celebration last month that read: 'We did not vote for Bush.' Other players have accused the group of 'treason,' and the United States Bridge Federation � whatever the hell that is � has decided its authority trumps free speech, a value some people vaguely remember associating with America..."

response #1 by meegbear:

      First steroids, now this ...
will Bridge ever recover?

response #2 by Sentinel Chicken:

      a one-year suspension
Couldn't they just submit to a quick water-boarding and get it over with?
:eyes:

response #3 by Botany:

      They played their trump card

response #4 by jgraz:

      Wow, they really got slammed. They perhaps should have used more finesse
But times are rough. I can understand how they might have felt squeezed.

(Yes, Bridge geeks will get it ;) )

response #16 by IMModerate:

      Schneid remarks.

response #17 by jgraz:

      Flannery will get you nowhere
:P

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2279002

OP by Elrond Hubbard:

      Help! I'm a white middle class christian male and I'm being OPPRESSED!!!!
That's right, my RIGHTS are being taken away!! :cry: :cry: What, by George W. Bush, you ask? NO! It's by these 'leftie loonie' folk. They're waging war against my right to celebrate Christmas! Bad enough they have to take school prayer away, and make me feel bad about being Christian, but now they want us to acknowledge other holidays besides Christmas! That's blasphemy! And really mean and oppressive! That's what the left does. They like to oppress Christians and put them down. Just like the Nazis. Because they're the new Nazis. They're launching a jihad on Christians and are allied with the Islamo-Facists! Because liberalism and extremist Islam practically go hand in hand!
Also, they're taking away my right to say offensive and funny (racist) things and deny me my freedom of speech (freedom of bigotry)! They're demanding equal rights for homosexuals which destroys my marriages! (My drinking problem has nothing to do with it!) And God's against it. He said so!
This is a CHRISTIAN nation. The Founding Fathers were all devout fundamentalist Chrisitans, especially Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson.
Any of you other white Christian males out there on DU with me? Who else feels oppressed by this WAR ON CHRISTMAS AND CHRISTIANS??
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Oh won't you help me, Pat Robertson?

response #27 by TygrBright:

      Yeah!! It's right there in the Constitution! The right to be an asshole!
Isn't it?

bewilderedly,
Bright

response #29 by Elrond Hubbard:

      It's right next to the part where it says...
'Congress shall make no attempt to hinder the power of the almighty president.'
Though that part seems to have a lot of spelling errors and was written in crayon.

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2284573

On a thread by cali:

      BWAHAHA: Giuliani aide: Rudy would be the first Jewish president
"Per the Jewish news service JTA, top Giuliani aide Ken Kurson told a Jewish audience last night in New York that if Bill Clinton was 'the first black president,' than the former New York mayor would be the first Jew to reach the White House.

Kurson was referring to Giuliani's support among Jews in New York and, presumably, his backing of Israel.

The aide, who co-authored 'Leadership' with the former mayor, also noted that he's a proud Jewish gun owner..."

response #1 by babylonsister:

      'a proud Jewish gun owner'?!
What does that even mean?

response #2 by Cooley Hurd:

      Shotgun circumcisions?
:D

response #9 by LeftishBrit:

      There is a Republican Jewish Coalition????
And which telephone booth do they meet in? There's probably still room for Mr. 9-11 in there!

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2281941

On a thread by Tab:

      Santas warned 'ho ho ho' offensive to women
"Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional 'ho ho ho' greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say 'ha ha ha' instead, the Daily Telegraph reported..."

response #11 by Surely Partridge:

      Unfortunately,
"ha ha ha" may be offensive to the humorless.

response #16 by Javaman:

      However...
whore whore whore, is perfectly okay.

:eyes:

The Lounge (moved from LBN), November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7140168

Poll question by Kurt_and_Hunter:

      What's the Story coming out of Tonight's Debate?

:bluebox: Hill and Obama play it safe; Biden and Edwards make all the waves

:bluebox: Edwards draws Hillary into fight; Obama looks statesmanlike

:bluebox: Hillary rebounds, Obama flounders on immigration, Edwards too negative

:bluebox: Kucinich goes Gravel on everyone, calling them out as war-mongers

:bluebox: Hillary snaps, gets into verbal slug-fest with Wolfie

:bluebox: Edwards breaks out, feels net-roots oats and goes after Obama as a Clinton-clone

:bluebox: Dodd, Biden, Richardson and Kucinich are asked to submit their answers in writing

:bluebox: Tragically literal "lightning round" reduces three candidates to ashes

:bluebox: Richardson endorses Clinton on stage

:bluebox: Other

response #6 by Basileus Basileon:

      Hm. I'd go with a combination.
Hillary plays it safe for most of the debate. Edwards snipes at her incessantly; she cooly dismisses him as a jealous little boy. When Wolf makes a reference to the attacks on her, she attacks the people going after her, and after Wolf for enabling them. Obama stands on the side, looking statesmanlike, but nobody really pays him much attention. Biden has a few great lines, but gets less than eight minutes total time. Kucinich spends most of his time complaining that the other guys are too conservative.

DUers believe it was a great victory for their candidate, and that everyone else imploded. Post-debate polling shows Hillary with a slight rebound, Obama staying the same, and Edwards dropping slightly.

response #8 by Think82:

      Predictions:
Biden makes intelligent, prescient points on the most important issues of the day. Everyone except Kucinich says "Joe is right" or "I agree with Joe" at least twice during the debate. The media completely ignores this fact and proceeds to ask Biden about what he believes Hillary is thinking in the post-debate interviews.

Richardson brags about his Nobel Peace Prize nomination in response to a question about healthcare.

Edwards and Obama claim they are the only people on stage who tell the truth, then call Hillary a liar and a BITCH in the answer to every question. Hillary doesn't indicate whether she believes she is a bitch or not.

Dodd continues to make good practical points, causing Wolf Blitzer to nod off and fall off the stage.

Kucinich proposes impeaching everyone else onstage, making him the de facto winner of the debate.

At press time, "Hillary rebounds, Obama flounders on immigration, Edwards too negative" was winning with 32% of the votes.

GDP, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3721717

OP by Didereaux:

      ALERT! IMPORTANT health & safety advisory...
I flew into Los Angeles Int'l(LAX) last Wednesday, the public restrooms on that concourse were closed for repair, the next closest was quite a ways away. I headed that way and found, not surprisingly that the place was crowded. While waiting I thought it might be a good idea to check the general 'safety' of the place out. So I asked quite loudly, "Are there any Republican Senators in here?"

Several snickers and coughs followed, but no affirmative answers. I did notice however that quite a few of the occupants glanced nervously at the ones on either side of them...I suppose it had never dawned on them to ask such as that before entering an airport public restroom.

(I will swear in court this is not made up! heh surprising what a person can come up with when bored in an airport.)

I think it might be a pretty good idea for all DU'ers who find themselves with no alternative but a public restroom, to go ahead and do as I did. Why, when you think of it, it really might wind up actually making it safe for ordinary souls around the Minneapolis area when the Repugnant Brothers Circus arrives next year!

response #4 by shireen:

      The Republican party is a big tent
you really should have been more inclusive ... and extended your query to include the House, Executive Office, Christian talibans, and so many others that my mind has blocked out to maintain my sanity.

response #9 by hootinholler:

      I didn't think it was big as it is wide.
They have a wide tent to accommodate the stances.

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2287305

On a thread by babylonsister:

      Weepy Boehner breaks down again on House floor

response #8 by FightingIrish:

      That was going around when I was in the Navy

response #17 by wienerdoggie:

      Antibiotics will clear that right up.

And see below for Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2288301

On a thread by oldtime dfl_er:

So I go to Starbucks this morning
and as I'm leaving I notice a large sticker on the door, that says security is provided by DIEBOLD. I know there is more than one reason to boycott Starbucks, but THAT is my personal reason why I won't be back. I will also send them a nice letter telling them why I won't be back.

response #8 by KansDem:

So this man goes to this Starbucks...
It's late at night and he checks the door, which is unlocked. He doesn't realize the store is closed and an employee forgot to lock the front door. So he goes inside thinking it might still be open. A few seconds later, several police cars race up to the front and several officers jump out. When they enter the store and see the man standing at the counter, they ask him, "Are you the only one in here?" The man replies, "I must be. I thought it was open for business since the door was unlocked." Sensing relief in the police officers, the man asks, "Why so many police officers for a false alarm?" The police officer says, "Well, Diebold security informed us there were five 'George W. Bushes' in here."

on edit: :D

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2288258

On a thread by Newsjock:

      Home of $25,000 dessert fails health checks
"A New York restaurant that set a record this month for the world's most expensive dessert � a $25,000 US chocolate treat � has been closed temporarily by the health department after failing a second consecutive inspection, local news outlets reported Thursday.

WNBC-TV said inspectors saw a live mouse, mouse droppings, fruit flies, house flies and more than 100 cockroaches at Serendipity 3 on East 60th St..."

response #3 by Ezlivin:

      The cost of the dessert also includes health care
A moment on the lips, then hospitalization.

response #6 by no_hypocrisy:

      Sweet
The irony, that is.

response #8 by Xipe Totec:

      Waiter! There's a diamond in my pile of crap!

response #12 by catnhatnh:

      Up here in New Hampshire, my brother and I opened this year....
Just a hot dog stand.Opening inspection and a few months later an operations inspection....Our rating was 96...and in this state like catholic catechism NO ONE gets a 100% rating because only God is perfect...and yet this year our MOST expensive items have been under $8.00...that being a steak sub. Occasionally I wonder if we could not become both famous and fashionable if we just had balls enough to charge $50.00 for a chili-dog....

response #17 by Crunchy Frog:

      $25,000 just ain't what it used to be.
These days you have to pay twice that just to get it without the mouse droppings.

response #18 by HomerRamone:

      I guess they got their just desserts n/t

The Lounge (moved from LBN), November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7144073

On a thread by ariesgem:

      Cafeteria Worker Fired After GOP Congressman Got Grilled -- Not Toasted -- Sandwich
"House Administration Committee Chairman Robert Brady (D-Pa.) is fuming after a cafeteria worker in the Capitol lost his job days after Rep. Mark Souder (R-Ind.) left the establishment in a huff because his sandwich was grilled, not toasted.

Kennison Battle, better known as 'Mohammed,' was fired this week following the Souder incident. However, it is unclear if Battle�s termination and Souder�s stormy exit last week are related..."

response #2 by Basileus Basileon:

      This makes sense.
A Republican's sandwich is worth far more than a lower-class employee's job. When you want a toasted sandwich, you want a toasted sandwich. Grilled just won't do.

I remember last week, I went to Burger King and ordered two Whopper Juniors with no mayo and ketchup but extra onions. Well, I don't know what kind of crazy world that employee lived in, but he thought "extra" meant "the exact same amount I always get." I can tell you right now I went back, pulled him out through the drive-through window, and threw him down to the ground. "You're fired," I said. That's right. I fired him myself, and I'm not even his manager.

So I understand Souder's response. It's really quite reasonable.

response #6 by The Straight Story:

      Did he leave a tip?
:rofl:

response #9 by Bozita:

      If he did, he probably spat on it.
On both nickels.

response #7 by blogslut:

      Names to faces
Representative Souder:

Revolting picture of revolting man.

Seems to me, the congressman needs to bypass the sandwiches altogether and try the salad. Maybe then his skin would clear up.

response #27 by lumpy:

      Really don't like to judge a book by its cover but....
this guy looks like a prissy self-important duck butt.

response #14 by SeattleGirl:

      Stop the presses and head for the hills, Mabel!
Sumbitch served me a GRILLED sandwich!!!!

Call Homeland Security!!!

Call the NSA!!!

Call the CIA!!!

Call the FBI!!!

The turrusts are out to get MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :scared: :scared: :scared:

:eyes:

response #32 by Botany:

      Guaranteed his soup & sandwiches will be loaded w/ "special sauce" ....
.... from now on.

"Just a minute Congressman Souder we are working on your potato soup
and chicken salad on a nice toasted bread right now."

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2289359

OP by spanone:

boy, this pre-debate drivel from cnn. hillary, hillary, hillary, hillary
driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke: driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: illegal immigrants :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:illegal immigrants :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's illegal immigrants license :nuke: driver's license :puke:driver's license :nuke: driver's license :puke:

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2289707

OP by Joe Fields:

      I liked the part in the pageant when they solved the question of world peace.
I thought Obama won the formal part of the contest. Edwards needed to keep his suit coat buttoned. Hillary slouched just a bit. I giggled when Richardson paraded around in his swimsuit. It was a hoot.

response #1 by Maddy McCall:

      Kucinich catching the drapes on fire with his flaming batons...
he stole the show.

response #5 by Joe Fields:

      I gave him style points for that.

response #2 by The Magistrate:

      The Whirled Pease Part Is Always My Favorite, Too, Sir

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2293856

OP by Tactical Progressive:

I'm a little surprised that they didn't ask Kucinich if he'd ever seen BigFoot
Sorry, but even as a Hillary supporter I think DK has been treated a little shabbily by the media in these debates. He helps the Democratic cause with every bit of truth that comes out of his mouth. At the very least it shows what we should really be thinking about doing and shows the 'centrist' numbnuts that the main Democrats are already, in fact, pretty centrist in their views.

Without Dennis, there is no full left side of the spectrum, and the spectrum is left looking like it runs from centrist-Dem to Publican right-wing nutcase. Which is what I think the media wants, and is why they marginalize DK.

The Straight Story posted something pretty funny here. But I ain't gonna repeat it...

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2292821

Poll question by Husb2Sparkly:

The Great Drivers License Debate is .........

:bluebox: Kinda Bullshit

:bluebox: Bullshit

:bluebox: Steaming Bullshit

:bluebox: Russert-as-Water-Boy planted seed that grew into the Great Bullshit Flower Designed to Kill Democrats by Inciting Internecine Warefare Bullshit

:bluebox: other

At press time, "Russert-as-Water-Boy planted seed that grew into the Great Bullshit Flower Designed to Kill Democrats by Inciting Internecine Warefare Bullshit" was winning with 54% of the votes.

GDP, November 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3725338

OP by bridgit:

Matthews - Hardball, "Are republicans in a rut?"
I'm thinking more like a muddy trench ankle deep in bloody death, chaos & shit water :thumbsup: I'd say you got to love him but you don't

GDP, November 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2294231

On a thread by Bitwit1234:

      oooops

response #1 by hedgehog:

      Link?

response #6 by Flabbergasted:

      Ever hear of spell check.
;-)

response #11 by NanceGreggs:

      Bookmarked for later ...
... no time to read this right now.

response #12 by Swamp Rat:

      Hillary Clinton sucks!
Just kidding! :D

response #15 by Froward69:

      Hillary Clinton does not suck
thats why Bill got impeached... :evilgrin: :wow: :rofl: :spray: :rofl: :rofl:

GD, November 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2295665

Poll question by WilliamPitt:

      Presenting a post-debate pre-primary presidential preference poll...
...or, a positively preposterous pisser of a poll that partisans promoting particular presidential players and particularly prickly people will perceive as perniciously petty...but I am at peace.

:P

So, DU...where do you stand today?

:bluebox: I'm right.

:bluebox: You're wrong.

:bluebox: My candidate rules.

:bluebox: Your candidate sucks.

:bluebox: Nothing you can say will change my mind.

:bluebox: Nothing I can say will change your mind.

:bluebox: Wolf Blitzer is a perfectly good waste of skin.

:bluebox: We're doomed. There's no hope.

:bluebox: This poll is trying to stifle free speech!

:bluebox: I make in my pants sometimes.

response #7 by matcom:

      The Bees in my head tell me to vote Dukakis

response #8 by H2O Man:

      Mayweather
by decision. But don't count Hatton out.

At press time, "Nothing you can say will change my mind." was winning with 24% of the votes.

GD, November 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2298766

On a thread by AlGore-08.com:

      Actually, there is (or used to be) a "correct" answer to "Diamonds or Pearls"
According to my Mom, who lived through the 1950s and lived to tell the tale... if an adult woman is asked "Do you prefer diamonds or pearls", unless she's being asked to pick the stone for her engagement ring, she should always say "pearls".

Answering "diamonds" marks her as a gold digging tramp.

Answering "pearls" marks her as a decent girl - - "the kind you marry and stay married to".

I'm just repeating what my Mom told me...

response #5 by antifaschits:

      compressed coal or oyster vomit?
let's be real.

response #10 by Kurovski:

      I myself greatly prefer a "string of pearls."
They're a classic when matched with a blue dress.

Historic, even.

response #15 by Juniperx:

      I prefer the Judas Priest version of 'Diamonds and Rust'
oh, sorry... thought this was a music thread... guess I'm casting pearls before swine!

:P

GD, November 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2298998

On a thread by IanDB1:

Time Waster: Can you get the people in the "free" live sex cams to eat one another's noses?

response #13 by Kerrytravelers:

Locking...
Social and scientific value is interesting and all... however, the Mods are locking because this is a mixture of a sex thread, a bodily function thread and a "What the..." thread all blended into one.

Respectfully submitted,

Kerrytravelers
DU Lounge Moderator

The Lounge, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7137040

On a thread by MLFerrell:

      This is how STONEHENGE and the PYRAMIDS were built...

responses #12 by SoCalDem

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2251761

OP by Bluebear:

      PHOTO: "Ah'm a tough Ford truck kind of man."

response #1 by lame54

response #45 by madokie

response #13 by Bucky

response #12 by Skidmore

response #33 by dicksteele

response #17 by Hieronymus

response #27 by hootinholler

response #29 by Benhurst

response #38 by MisterP

response #41 by Swamp Rat

response #42 by SalmonChantedEvening

response #47 by rAVES

GD, November 10, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2253770

On a poll by Mark E. Smith:

      Q) How Many On-Line Progessives Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

response #38 by Swamp Rat

GD, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2258403

OP by Bennyboy:

      Is TARGET Racist?

The Lounge (moved from GD), November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7128250

OP by Squatch:

      Police: Head Found, Possibly That Of Homicide Victim

GD, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2260033

On a thread by Bluebear:

      PHOTOS: Bush, today, at the American Legion Post

response #4 by Xipe Totec

response #6 by SalmonChantedEvening

response #10 by SoCalDem

response #13 by Bluebear

response #22 by edhopper

GD, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2260857

On a thread by BigBearJohn:

      Got a call today from Hillary camp asking for my support. I said SORRY but I'm voting for KUCINICH.

response #6 by dicksteele

GD, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2257161

On a thread by lildreamer316:

      Leonardo painting has coded 'soundtrack'

response #7 by meegbear

The Lounge, November 11, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7128012

On a thread by Christa:

      Creationist Paleontologists Discover Dinosaur Saddle

responses #2 & #4 by edhopper

response #17 by eppur_se_muova

Some very funny stuff in the thread, too.

Religion/Theology, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=214x154443

On a thread by IanDB1:

      Fleeing Robbery Suspect Eaten By Alligator

response #16 by Tesha

GD, November 13, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2271467

On a thread by cali:

      Surfer dude stuns physicists with theory of everything

response #38 by deutsey

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2281653

On a thread by OneBlueSky:

      "Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit" . . .

response #3 by SoCalDem

response #5 by Hissyspit

GD, November 14, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2278202

On a thread by babylonsister:

      Weepy Boehner breaks down again on House floor

responsea #36 & #45 by Swamp Rat

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2288301

OP by DS1:

      Yeah. Whatever!!! .... Golden Penis Antlers!

The Lounge, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7140909

OP by bridgit:

      You liberal/progressive dweebs you!! We here in this household *love* Chinese toys...

The Lounge, November 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7142848