|
I thought this was fun, so I thought I would share.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with his problems on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after his problems on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems. ___________________________________________________ OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the Chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the Chickens. ____________________________________________________ GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why this chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. ____________________________________________________ COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ____________________________________________________ ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road. ____________________________________________________ JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. Probably. ___________________________________________ ________ NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes, and in the way he walks. __________________________________________________ PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. ____________________________________________________ MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me what direction that chicken was going I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. ____________________________________________________ DR SEUSS: Did the chicken - cross the road? Did he cross it - with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road - but why it crossed - I've not been told! ______________________________________________ ______ ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. ____________________________________________________ JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken is gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it, the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like," the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. ____________________________________________________ GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. ____________________________________________________ BARBARA WALTERS: In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, in its own words, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream, of crossing the road. ____________________________________________________ JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens... It's easy, if you try... Crossing roads, together... Hoping not, to die... Imagine all, the chickens... Crossing, roads, in peace.... ____________________________________________________ ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. ____________________________________________________ BILL GATES: I have just released E-Chicken2000, Millennium Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of E-Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never crack ____________________________________________________ ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? ____________________________________________________ BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken? ____________________________________________________ AL GORE: I invented the chicken! ____________________________________________________ COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? ____________________________________________________ DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
|