Well, here we go: It's kook time! (Email I got a bit ago, 6:30est or so)

[The Straight Story]

I mentioned to someone in another thread I get a lot of RW emails from relatives, I just rarely post em.

Well, this one was too much fun to pass up. Have at it!

(from my 'uncle' - not officially, my aunt lives with him they just never married. He is a pretty cool guy all around.)
-----------------------------
Hey, how things going? Your dad told me you were all moving out to California soon! He sounded bummed about it, I know he will miss you. Just wanted to say since you drive through here that if you need to sleep somewhere a night call us up, your aunt XXXX makes a great sausage biscuit gravy and it would be nice to see you even if only for a day.

Anyway, I have to run and get some work done on the farm (Ralph's gone for two weeks, so I am doing all of it, he said to tell you and your dad hi though). I thought I would send you this as I recall we talked about prophecy last time I was there. (Note: Last time he was here was when mom died, two years ago)


Prophecy Fulfilled - why Hillary and Obama will win, Christians be ready!


:rofl:
Back some years ago HBO had a show on about Nostradamus and his prophecies (note - this email stood out to me as I mentioned this very show a week or so ago on DU in a thread). I have often asked myself how these can work with our Christian view of the end times. Well, after recent events I think I have the answer - and praise Jesus it has given me more strength in His word!

In the special the 3rd Anti-Christ comes from the Middle east and wears a purple turban. He attacks the 'new city' (meant to be NYC) with nuclear weapons. It then goes on to talk about how the angry black man (Obama, see below) and the Bear (Russia) work together to defeat this evil one.

It all hit me while driving home last week from the grocery store. I heard about Obama running. And we all know about Hillary running. I had a vision, if you will.

Hillary wins and Obama is her VP. She is in NYC visiting some group or other and it is attacked and destroyed, she along with it. Obama becomes the president, and as an angry black man he fights back with help from Russia.

We need to pray for our leaders, even if we don't like them on a moral level. The Lord appoints our leaders using his own wisdom, and has admonished us to pray for them. The time of prophecy is near.

Does this mean you should vote for her? NO! Would you vote for Hitler if you knew he was going to bring about the return of the Lord? God Forbid - your vote is your voice, cast is not on the swine.

Just know that even if the voice of reason loses, and the voice of the liberals win - it will not stop God's plan for us all.

Wait and watch, listen and pay attention. The signs are all over the highway of life, and the exit is up ahead. God has given us a map so that we do not get lost, use it and you will have joy in this world knowing that at some point on this long road there is a rest stop on the way to His glory.

These are exciting times. God Bless you all!

[LaurenG]

1. So in order for them to win they have to equate us with the Antichrist and

armageddon. Great.

Just how low will these people go?

[Gatchaman]

2. Is this guy allowed to operate heavy machinery?

Or use sharp objects, such as a fork?

[Mz Pip]

3. Off his meds much?

I know folks really believe this crap but it baffles me just what part of the brain ceases to function for this to happen.

"The signs are all over the highway of life, and the exit is up ahead."

Whatever. I missed the exit years ago.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Cerridwen]

9. That sounds like the title of a country music song.

"The signs are all over the highway of life, and the exit is up ahead."

And the next line in the song is, of course, your reply and "I missed the exit years ago" wohwohwoh wohwohwoh.

Sorry - my weird brain.



:rofl:

[The Straight Story]

11. More of the song:

I was on the highway of life and I took exit 45
was wanting to get gas, but my credit was dry
With no way back on I came to realize
That this was exit on which I would die

Oooooooooo I met Jesus at exit 45
He changed my oil with a twinkle in his eye
Said to me - don't be afraid of the exit where you die
Cause I am at all of them, when your tank get's empty come on in
I can fill ya up, and wash away them sins
when you exit the highway of life....

:rofl:

[Cerridwen]

12. I knew,

I knew I could count on someone to fill in the lyrics - and still I :spray:

Thank you! Straight Story.

:rofl:

[uppityperson]

4. We shouldn't vote for Clinton/Obama, wouldn't this be going against The Lord's Plans?

we can avoid the whole mess by, praise Jesus, not doing what will happen?

[Goat or Panic]

5. I was unaware that God's name was also

"Nostradamus." For someone so obsessed with being "Rapture Ready" he may want to think about that. Besides according to Glen Beck, Obama isn't really "Black."

[Hav]

6. .

Hah, that's some crazy shit. But yeah, when it's not about politics, he actually appears to be a nice guy.

[tblue]

7. Order him one of these. Cheap!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. The voice of reason????????

That tirade of pseudo-religion/Nostrademus is reason?????

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[The Straight Story]

10. It all makes sense really

After ya smoke a few bowls, have some rum, then polish off with a 12 pack.

"Like dude, when is Jesus getting back here?"

"Um, well like, soon as he is done building them mansions and stuff."

"Whats taking him so long?"

"Unions man, they keep like taking breaks and stuff, so we had to convert those mexicans to christianity so that when they die they can do the work."

"Dude, that is so deep."

[Warren DeMontague]

17. Hey... Bowls, Rum, 12 Pack- I used to live on that diet, back in my reckless youth.

And I never spouted anything resembling that level of nonsensical fucking gibberish.

[Arugula Latte]

14. Hey -- it's "Faith." Check your brain at the door.

:rofl:

[ClintonTyree]

13. Has he had brain surgery recently?

Religious nuts have a habit of twisting anything available into pretzels to fit their twisted logic. They're nucking futz. :silly:

[Cheap_Trick]

15. whoever wrote this

should be taken out to the country and left for dead.

[Warren DeMontague]

16. Do they know that Nostradamus predicted the Stairmaster and the Philly Cheesesteak?

It's true. :crazy:

[Az]

18. Its always fun with prophecies to ask those who believe them what happened

after the event came and went and the thing prophesized never happened.

I used to debate some prophecy believers who referenced this site that did Bible Prophecy using bible code. I would screen cap pages from it and then patiently wait until the date foretold came and went. Then I would show up in the debate forum and ask them "What happened!?!"

[B Calm]

19. Is Right Wing Religiously Insane curable?

[SpiralHawk]

20. Ahhh, it's a blue turban. Get a clue HBO, or whoever is making this crap up

That Blue turban stuff comes from Edgar Cayce...who is being "misquototated" here, as the Skull & Bonerboy in Chief would say.

Every since we got an occult darkside cabal crony in the White House,
all this prophecy stuff is Totally Messed Up. Those darkside occulters
need some Massive Attitude Adjustment.

[RebelOne]

21. He is echoing the same words as the religious

delusional nuts at the RaptureReady.com Web site.

[radfringe]

22. the rapturites confuse me

On one hand they look forward to being raptured. They are 100% certain they are among the chosen.

On the other hand, they warn people about voting for "x" candidate because he/she will bring about the rapture.

I would think the rapturites would want to vote for "x" in order to bring about the raputure.

The other thing is the phrase "God-Fearing Christian". Why do they FEAR God? If they are so rightous, moral and christian - there's nothing to fear.

although I don't subscribe to a particular religion or attend church, I don't fear God. I also do not consider myself especially rightous, moral or christian. I do whatever feels like it's the right thing to do.

[leftyclimber]

23. The third anti-Christ in a purple turban.

Well, I'll be jiggered.