From The Future

[Prophet 451]

(The following essay fragment was retrieved from the future by scientists working at Caltech. It appears to be a high-school student's history essay. As much of the essay is missing, it is impossible to say how far in the future it came from or who it was authored by)


.....Towards the end of President Bush's second term of office, he began to fear for America's future. As the law at the time would not allow him to stand for a third term despite the people's wish to vote for him, contenders for the next presidency began to campaign. The front runners of God's Own Party were Saint Huckabee (some years prior to his cannonisation) and John McCain. This did not trouble the Revered President too much. However, the front-runners of the (now defunct) Democrat party were man-hating lesbian Hillary Clinton (allied in a sham marriage of convienience to Bill Clinton, long considered the most evil man in American history) and radical Islamic fundementalist Barrack Hussein Obama. Worse, it seemed likely that one of these two would win the presidency! At the time and for many years afterward, the Revered President was considered wildly unpopular at this point in his reign, it was only later, when serious historians took account of and corrected for the media's liberal bias that the public's widespread adoration of President Bush became apparent. Despite his highly successful prosecution of a brief war in Iraq, President Bush was frustrated by the liberal media's refusal to report on the massive caches of WMD which were found under Saddam Hussein's bed.

As the President prepared to lead the nation to war again (to prevent Iran from acquiring the nuclear weapon which was their stated intent), he was troubled by the thought that he would be leaving his beloved country in the hands of such infidels. A strict Reaganist (who believe that Jesus returned in the body of the USA's greatest president, Ronald Reagan before his bodily ascension to heaven) long before Reaganism because the USA's dominant faith, President Bush was concerned that unbelievers could ascend to the throne (although, in those days, there was no actual throne). However, his deep and abiding love for the democratic process would not allow him to interfere with the selections of the voters. However, when Iran instigated a war by sinking the USS Tonkin, the president was forced to declare martial law, a decision which proved enormously popular as can be readily seen from the video clips available on the webway. Sadly, the pro-presidency signs were altered by the liberal media, another fact which remained unknown for years.

Forced to cancel the forthcoming elections by the declaration of martial law, the Revered President nevertheless pressed on with the war and victory was achieved in a matter of minutes. Indeed, President Bush's rapturously received speech declaring "Mission Acomplished" (transmitted from the aisle of Air Force 1) was broadcast only seventeen minutes after the war was declared. However, as with the previous venture in Iraq, troops would be required to mop-up the pitifully small number of insurgents for another fourteen years.

At home, President Bush was required to deal with numerous riots and villainous mockery instigated by traitorous liberals. Although comprising only a few dozen, the liberals and their allies controlled every aspect of the media except Fox News Channel. Handing the matter to Vice President Cheney, President Bush was overjoyed when Mr. Cheney's minimal defensive measures (estimated death toll: 27 million) and the passage of the Media Bipartisanship Act brought matters under control. The public, relieved to be free of the traitors in their midst and led by the beloved Ann Coulter, also called for the execution of Al Gore who was propogating the blasphemous theory that the earth was being heated by carbon emissions (rather than by the wrath of God, as is now established). Unfortunatly, Gore refused to leave the safety of neutral Switzerland, escaping his just punishment through cowardice.....

(at this point, the essay becomes unreadable due to fire damage. We pick up several pages later)

..... With the liberals now safely held in their luxurious re-education facilities, both at Abu Ghrab and Guentanemo Bay (as well as scattered in strategic locations across the mainland), our Revered President could concentrate on purging their fellow travellers from the ranks of God's Own Party. Setting up the House Committee On Anti-American Thoughts, the Department of Divine Justice was shocked to discover no less than two-thirds of the GOP Congressmen refused to sign a purely routine Pledge of Undying Loyalty. Once these malcontents were purged from the Party, President Bush was able to enact such popular legislation as The Pregnancy & Protective Custody Act, The Discrimination Against Homosexuals Act and The Presidential Appointments Act. The latter, enshrining the long-held convention that government should be made up of people the president feels comfortable with, led to the entrance into Congress of such national heroes as Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson and Bill O'Reilly. Although the public called for the admission of Pastor Fred Phelps, the Revered President had a different purpose in mind for him, that of the newly created post of High Priest Inquisitor, a position Pastor Phelps adopted with relish.

Realising that the terroristic activities of the liberals had spread to other nations, it was at this point that teh Revered President was forced to enter a state of war with.....

(remainder of essay unrecoverable)

END OF FILE

[The Traveler]

1. Creepy

That just be creepy, man. You know he (the Chimpster) fantasizes like that.

:hide:

[Prophet 451]

3. Oh, I know

Creeping people out was part of the idea although really, it's about the right's love of rewriting history.

[WHEN CRABS ROAR]

2. Love it !