I'm SO glad I'm not a Republican.

[Mythsaje]

Yeah, I know we're having our own little nomination war here on DU... An Obama vs. Clinton celebrity death match and all. Clinton's a racist, Obama's a homophobe. Edwards and Kucinich don't get no love from the general public, so they don't count.

But, geez. Imagine what it's like to be a Repug right now. Seriously. We've got it good compared to them.

Thompson's the guy they'd love to root for. A hollywood dream. Shades of Reagan. Except he's about as exciting as a snail with a racing stripe painted on its shell. Whoopee! Throw open the gate and watch him... "Ah, geez. Would someone wake him up? This is no way to run a race."

Hmmm. Of course there's also Huckabee. He's a religious man, after all. A former minister, right? Got God in his pocket? 'Cept, well, maybe...he's been listening too much to that Jesus fellow rather than the callous, smite-happy Old Testament God. Too worried about the poor, not really hip on the whole prosperity theology rap. And, well, there are still a lot of more influential (and affluent) Republicans who get nervous when he starts up with that economic populism stuff.

Mitt Romney? He's a Mormon. They're little better than a cult. Sure, he's got the look, but deep down they all know that they can't trust the guy. His religion doesn't pass the smell test. Too bad he's not a Baptist or Methodist.

McCain is probably the best conciliatory candidate. Of course, he flops around like a fish accidentally dropped to the bottom of a boat. He doesn't like the religious right, then he does, then he doesn't. He's against torture, but, well, it depends on who's doing the torturing, right? Most of America's done with the war, but he's quite happy with the way it's going.

Giuliani? Let's be serious. This guy doesn't just have skeletons in his closet...he drags them around behind him in a big ol' trunk to show off at parties. He's not a presidential candidate--he's a one-man Halloween act. "Rockin' Rudy Ghoul and his Skeleton Crew."

The best thing that could happen to the Republican Party this time around would be an all-candidate suicide pact.

Sure, we've got a few issues. But at least we're not THEM.

Be happy about that, at least.

[aquart]

1. I know. That's why McCain looks good again.

Or, rather, less like their worst nightmare. And he could die soon, too.

We know there are decent, honest Republicans. Bush fired them. But they're not running in this race. This is a losers' race. Whoever wins the Republican nomination gets to lose the election.

[murielm99]

2. And he could die soon, too.

So who do you see as their VP? Jebbie? The recently departed Duncan Hunter?

Or will they play the race card and choose someone like that nice Bobby Jindal from Louisiana? The Illinois republicans did that with Alan Keyes. Is Jindal brown enough to counterbalance Obama for them?

[B Calm]

3. but... it's so easy to be a republican. You just praise your leader

regardless.. Just like the suck-ups at work!

[Lasher]

4. Every one just wants more of the same.

They think if they can look like Saint Ronnie that will be enough.

[liberal N proud]

5. They tried trotting out a celebrity candidate but...

the whole 9/11 scare tactic is wore out.
The rest of the pack is far more crazy than the media wants us to think Kucinich is but the whole republican base is dumb enough to play along.

[B Calm]

6. At first I thought you were talking about the Swamp Monster Fred Thompson,

but with the 9-11 reference, you must be talking about Ghouliani..

[liberal N proud]

7. I keep forgetting about Freddie

Another attempt at giving the sheep a celeb, it worked with Reagan but not this time.

[Ganja Ninja]

8. Sucks to be them. n/t