Anti-Chuck Norris facts

[Hugabear]

You've all seen the Chuck Norris facts, which have now run their course. Now, I present to you, the anti Chuck Norris facts.

http://www.pointsincase.com/anti_chuck_facts.htm

A few examples:

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may not realize how much he's actually aged.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.

Chuck Norris' blood type is AK-47. The gun. It is compatible only with bullets. Chuck Norris is full of holes.

Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small.

Chuck Norris once hid his cornflakes in a safe because he heard a serial killer was on the loose.

When Chuck Norris gets angry, he finds a revolving door and attempts to slam it shut. Inevitably, the door swings around and kicks his ass.

Chuck Norris once tried snorting Coke, but the ice cubes got stuck in his nose.

On January 12, 1995 Chuck Norris shaved his beard. On January 13, 1995 Chuck Norris filed a missing person claim on himself.

Osama Bin Laden told Chuck Norris about the 9/11 attacks on 9/10 in order to ensure that his plan would not be foiled.

If you say "Chuck Norris" into a mirror ten times on Friday the 13th, Chuck Norris will show up behind you with an axe. Then he'll try to sell you the axe to support his various substance addictions.

Chuck Norris once became popular for no apparent reason whatsoever.

[MichaelHarris]

1. ummm

Chuck Norris can take a kick to the head better than any man I've ever seen.