Ted Haggard's Church: Ex-Gay Brainwashing Didn't Take

[marmar]

from AlterNet's PEEK:



Ted Haggard's Church: Ex-Gay Brainwashing Didn't Take

Posted by Paddy , Cliff Schecter's Blog at 5:21 AM on February 6, 2008.

This guy was one of their holiest ministers, so if he can't pray it away, who can? (no one of course!!)



Really, what a bunch of maroons if they think you can pray away the gay. I mean, this guy was one of their holiest ministers, so if he can't pray it away, who can? (no one of course!!)

COLORADO SPRINGS -- More than a year after then-pastor Ted Haggard resigned from his position at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Haggard has severed his official relationship with the New Life Church Restoration Team.

Haggard was the church's senior founding pastor.

In November 2006, he resigned from his church leadership position and from his position as head of the National Association of Evangelicals amid allegations he had an affair with a male prostitute.

(snip)

"New Life Church recognizes the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry. However, we wish him and his family only success in the future."

[qb]

1. Restoring Ted Haggard...

they just haven't finished building his cinder block closet.

[islandmkl]

2. you know, we got the brain right out

but we're having a dickens of a time putting it back in

[annabanana]

8. eek!

You owe me a keyboard!

[malaise]

3. These morons never cease to

amuse me.

The con is over - move on Ted.

[xchrom]

4. the part that amuses me -- and always will -- is the church has no idea

how sad and ironic their statement is.

[marmar]

5. "how sad and ironic their statement is."

Exactly.

[madokie]

6. All I can say is I sure am glad I am an Atheist

mix some religious bull in here in my head and no telling what the outcome would be but I would bet it wouldn't be pretty, ;-)
to each his own I guess and all I ask is keepy your jesus off my penis

[Submariner]

7. I guess that free money thing from his church didn't work out

Ted Haggard's Back, He's "Completely Hetero" and He's Begging for Cash

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/60655/

His next sermon will probably be "Do you want fries with that?"

[gratuitous]

9. Some of them are maroons, no doubt

But a lot of folks who turn to the ex-gay ministries are just ordinary people, scared right down to the marrow of their bones. They will do literally anything (including very messy suicide) to come to terms with their existence. Mel White wrote about it in "Stranger at the Gate," and anyone not moved by his account of the lengths he went to in trying to get away from himself has a heart of stone.

[trof]

10. They just need to pray HARDER! Like Pat Robertson.

See, you can tell how hard a person is praying by how hard they squinch their eyes up.
Pat is a champion squincher.
He speaks DIRECTLY to God.
No middleman.

[edbermac]

11. He needs the Ludovico Technique.

Strap him in a chair and force him to watch the Tommy Lee-Pam Anderson sex tape. That will straighten him out.

[endarkenment]

12. The gay is very sticky and hard to remove.

So how exactly do they know that their attempt to de-gay Haggard failed?