Wonkette: Jenna Bush Wedding Set To Cripple Waco

[Synnical]

http://wonkette.com/356960/jenna-bush-wedding-set-to-cripple-waco

Thousands of sad Texans will be sleeping in the streets of Waco in mid-May while fat cats carouse at the wedding of Jenna Bush and her first husband, wealthy former Rove staffer Henry Hager. Even though the wedding date hasn’t been officially confirmed (it’s May 10!), all the hotels are already full with reservations from media, paparazzi, and deposed Latin American dictators. Beleaguered attendees of the Texas Technology Students Association conference, unfortunately scheduled for the same weekend, will be left out in the cold. And that is just the start of the madness.

The Bush wedding’s impact has been so grave, and so far-reaching, that even the field of cancer research has been affected. The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, which raises breast-cancer awareness, was originally scheduled for Jenna’s Special Day and had to be moved up a week.

Despite the ruination visited on Waco by the Bush family, impoverished locals haven’t given up hope that the wedding party might flip them a tuppence on their way to the big ball at George’s Crawford ranch. Limousine companies, carriage services, florists, and even airport operators are all praying to get some business out of this disaster, and declare their continued affection for their oppressors.

One local shopkeeper said Laura Bush “has a quiet peace about her,” which we assume means she’s crosseyed on horse tranquilizers.

[underpants]

1. So Bush's daughter is basicallly going to get married out in the middle of a field

How Hippie-ly rebellous of her

[Virginia Dare]

6. With snipers and jackboots as attendants...

isn't it romantic?:loveya:

[underpants]

12. Sure is going ot suck when mom and dad hightail it out of there

and never return. But hey it's all politics.

[TahitiNut]

19. "middle of a field"?? I think it's called a 'lek.'

:silly:

[Jack Rabbit]

2. Remember the stink they made about Clinton's haircut?

Anybody?

[shain from kane]

3. Let's have Woodstock/Southwest. Does Cindy Sheehan still have any acreage there?

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. She sold her land

but a friendly bought it.

Bring your tent. Looks like hotel rooms are scarce.

[jojo54]

4. Any bets that the security threat level WON'T go to orange

on the days surrounding the wedding?

[seabeyond]

5. jenna bush gets to have a wedding. hardly going to rag on the woman. n/t

[Synnical]

14. Sure, at least they didn't have it at the White House n/t

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. The people who own the nearest hotel are wonderful

It's a Weston in McGregor, 6 miles down the road from Crawford.

My first thought was what great news this is for them and their business.

[leftchick]

9. and such a lovely dignified couple!

:puke:

[TahitiNut]

20. Well, it's the Bush tradition of bending over backwards in service to mankind.

:evilgrin: ... without spilling a drop.

[tanyev]

10. I bet most of the wedding supplies will come from Dallas or even New York or DC.

A few businesses in Waco may get a few token pennies tossed their way.

[Demeter]

11. Hope She Knows What She's Doing

Does any young woman?

[0007]

13. Will the baby be exposed for public viewings?

Will the band play "Shotgun boogie"

[BeHereNow]

15. Maybe a tornado will sweep them all away? (The wedding party that is)

We can hope, eh?

BHN

[CTyankee]

16. I'll be in northern Italy, thank you very much! A much classier place to be

than Crawford godforsaken Texas!

It will be lovely to be blissfully unaware of all this hoopla when I am in Lake Maggiore and Turin. So sad, too bad.

[TahitiNut]

17. So, will they hang a blood-stained sheet on the clothesline the next morning?

:evilgrin: They ARE the "family values" crowd, right?

[kskiska]

21. And a wedding night shivaree n/t

[Stinky The Clown]

18. I had a post all ready for this and then canceled it. It was against the rulez ......

.... to say nothing of my even lower moral standards.

Fuck 'em ..... 'nuff said.