Do you have an ultra right wing Republican in your family? How do you deal with them?

[Angry Mollusk]

My whole family is pretty liberal- save for my oldest brother-
Some years back, he became a born again Christian, then his politics shifted from being a moderate to being a total right wing Republican. He listens to Rush Limbaugh every day, is hardcore GW Bush fan, supports the war, hates gays and immigrants- He has really changed,, and not for the better...
I see my brother only at family gatherings- and I never discuss politics with him- as he'll go on a rant about 'the liberals' and really piss me off.
To his credit he has never tried to force Jesus on me.
Do any of you have a right wing Republican sibling, parent, child or spouse? How do you keep the peace?

[Drunken Irishman]

1. My whole family is a typical Irish-American Catholic family.

So they typically lean liberal, except for one of my aunts. She moved to Texas when she turned 18 and for a long time, she was pretty liberal until she left the Catholic Church, then she went right-wing fundamentalist. My cousin is a homophobe and my aunt won't vote for Obama because he's black.

So yeah, I don't know what went wrong with her. I will say this, though, my grandparents really never got over her leaving the Church. And when she admitted voting Republican, I thought my grandma would die -- as her family were New Deal Democrats back when they came over from Ireland.

[Skittles]

2. I had a cousin email me that "Obama is a Muslim" nonsense

I replied to all and embarrassed the hell out of him - for thinking Obama is a Muslim and for believing all Muslims must be terrorists

[mwb970]

16. Always use the "Reply All" button in these cases.

Especially when you have five links proving that the e-mail is a lie. It's amazing how many people are missing the skepticism center in their brains, the little voice that says, "Hey, wait a minute." Apparently right-wingers are missing that little voice. Along with a conscience, logic, and the ability to think rationally. Their emotions work great, though - especially hate, fear, and greed.

I have no right-wing nuts among family or friends. I guess I'm just lucky.

[Hekate]

65. I'd feel obligated to Reply-All to something that offensive and untrue. Yeesh. nt

[Trajan]

3. My brothers are both RW ....

One sister and her husband as well ...

We have a rule : NO POLITICS ! .... We know if we start then someone is going to get pissed off and ruin our time together ....

The wives enforced the policy with cool detachment ...

[Mythsaje]

4. I, thankfully, don't have to worry about it.

My dad's a lifetime Dem, I don't have any brothers or sisters (except for adopted ones) and I'm the most political of them all. Every once in a while I'll get some anti-immigrant stuff coming through one of their mass e-mails and I'm quick to respond to those with a "don't blame the immigrants, blame the corporate bastards who'd exploit them in order to put YOU out of work" rant.

My wife usually follows my lead and her mother was an Edwards supporter.

If there's a Repug in my family, I don't know about it. Then again, I know entirely too many people who are totally apolitical, and THAT'S what I have to struggle with.

[Kitty Herder]

5. I try not to talk politics with them. But...

it's hard. When certain members of my family go off on racist, homophobic, or anti-liberal rants, it's hard to stay quiet. I feel the need to stand up for whatever group they're spewing hatred about. But no matter what I say, it falls on deaf ears.

My racist, homophobic sister-in-law tried to engage me in a debate about gay marriage, and I just said, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to get into this with you." How can you debate with someone when their arguments all boil down to, "My church told me so." You can't get anywhere with that kind of irrational attitude.

I wish I could learn to deal with it the way my mom does. She and her older brother argue about politics all the time, but they're able to do it in a light-hearted, playful manner. I get too passionate. Also, I get personally offended too easily. For example, my uncle was going off about certain progressive, anti-war celebrities like Sean Penn and Tim Robbins. He said, "Why should any one listen to them. They're not political scientists." My mom laughed and said, "But I am a political scientist and you don't listen to me, either." Mom thought it was funny. Now if I had been in my mom's shoes I would have been personally offended that my brother seemed to have completely forgotten that I had degrees in political science and poo-pooed it as if it didn't matter. But Mom just laughed.

The important thing is to love your family even if you disagree with them. I love my right-winger grandma, uncles and aunts even if I do think they're full of shit about politics. They're good people.

It's harder for me to love my sister-in-law. She's more aggressive in her disdain for my liberal points of view. Plus, I get really irritated at her for her ignorance. She's an incredibly intelligent person, probably has a genius-level IQ. But she doesn't even read. Not even novels. She's obsessed with shopping, get bargains, buying cute clothes for her and her baby, and decorating her house. She's a spoiled princess who comes from a family that made a fortune in selling scrap-metal. She just picked up her political attitudes from her rich family who believe in nothing but protecting their wealth and privilege and keeping the poor and those of other races in their place. They also place great store in the anti-feminist, homophobic, and racist messages of their church.

She never thinks critically about these attitudes, just accepts them. Never informs herself. She has infected my previously some-what progressive brother with her garbage. He went on an LDS mission to Equador and learned to love the Latino people. Since he's been married to her, he has become a racist towards them. It makes me angry. When he and I talk about politics, his wife gets angry, and inevitably stops us by finding some honey-do for him. Uuuggghhh...

[Demagitator]

6. I disowned my Republican Security mom...

She at one time was a Kennedy Democrat: but became a Bush security mom -- it got to the point that my mother was making my life miserable; and because my parents were divorced; and the violently explosive nature of her personality...and our irreconcilable differences -- that I had to force myself to make the painful decision to not have have any contact with her or any of my family members.

But, what I feel is a great joy; I started to have around a week after.

[MADem]

10. Gee, that's unfortunate. If I don't agree with a relative politically, we just

skip that shit. Life's too short to turn your back on family.

No one lives forever. The days are passing that you'll never get back.

If she has mental issues, maybe you can persuade your family members to encourage her to get help.

Is your entire family disfunctional? Do they all hate each other, or do the rest of them get along with each other, and it's just you that can't integrate into that family unit?

That 'disowning' is pretty harsh....

[Demagitator]

12. Thanks...

I have been asking myself most of the same questions, you just asked me; it has been a few weeks now. We only discussed politics a few times; so it had mostly to do with what I feel is more then likely her sub-conscious hate toward me.

My parents were divorced when I was around two years old. My mother being Irish -- and with some German married a Jew; so I feel the basic unspoken long cultural differences was what basically split me from both sides of the family (The Jewish side hating the Irish Catholics and Germans, and the Irish Catholics hating the Jews).

As far as the the rest of the family; my father disowned me around 20 years ago, a few years ago I called to see if things could be worked out, he just hung up the phone. All the other family members have never even met one another.

I think it does not have to do much with psychological issues; but rather health issues, from what I have learned most of them died early from health related issues. I am very concerned with every aspect of my health; and I guess they probably resent me because I eat well, etc.

And, my mother was recently diagnosed with cancer -- in her blood (probably from eating junk food all her life), and her brother died from cancer a few years back, at young age.

For two years now: I have attempted to work things out with her and her brother; but it got to the point where both of them would make violently explosive insensitive remarks; not just once or twice a year -- but every time we talk, and it is possible she is more -- then likely in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, some in the medical field advised me.

I did attempt to make it possible so that she would not have to be institutionalized; but she put off taking the steps necessary -- to use the system, that would benefit her health.

She was in addition probably "brainwashed" by all her Republican friends; that family members -- traditionally sit around thinking of ways of being caregivers -- for sick parents.

There is nothing more I can do; our differences are irreconcilable.

[Bluenorthwest]

32. Alzheimer's is a disease

And if your Mom has it, she is sick. What she is saying to you or about you is a result of the disease.
Four years ago, my Mom was having the delusions hit hard. She actually thought the DNC convention happened in her house, Thersa Kerry used her bed for several days, as Mrs Kerry had stomach flu, all of this was real to her.John Kerry speaking from her two bedroom home. The band on the roof and Bill Clinton borrowning the phone.

I'm gay and she's known by partner for 15 years or so and my identity going back 30 years. Now everytime I see her she asks about my fiancee and if we have set a date, and asks if the fiancee is pregnant.
She has lost her mind. She's not there.
Just saying, think long and hard about disowning someone for being sick and delusional. Alzheimer's is the worst thing ever. It is really hard to deal with. But it is not her fault nor is it yours.
Good luck with it all. It sucks.

[Demagitator]

40. But....

with her problems; if it is psych or the Alzheimer's and now cancer in the blood. The experts say it is the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, because she sometimes thinks, I am a different person and goes into fits of rage, and screams so loud that it actually has to damage my ears -- about events that took place 20 or more years ago.

She says she loves her cats; some seven or eight of them, but they all get sick and die because they are neglected. She should just have one or two, and focus on taking care of them well. The cats are all so skinny, it breaks my heart -- I have a cat that I love, and is healthy... it is just to painful for me to be around sick people and animals.

In addition, my parents were divorced. When my time is up, and I go to heaven -- and have to answer some questions -- I'm sure God will say he understands why I had to disown my entire family... because they were causing me to much mental distress.

Hell, for all I know, my mother could be sub-consciously be thinking I am her former husband that she divorced; probably because she hated him.

[LostinVA]

48. If your mother is indeed killing (repeatedly, no less) cats through neglect

Report her or take care of the cats, especially since you claim to be a cat lover.

[Demagitator]

54. I wish I could....

I live in a different part of the state. She lives in a heavily populated -- Repuke county. The cats die slowly from neglect, one has to pick up the cats to feel that they are to skinny -- other then that they look fine -- and, it is my word against hers.

She tells me how her cats and and dogs die from urinary problems (because she never changes the water everyday?) -- and she and her Repuke county up there -- are much to smart to let themselves be exposed.

I, of course thought about it often -- reporting her; but with Reagan's deregulation, my guess is many of the animal rights groups around her area have been stripped of any power.

I attempted to call concerned about her health -- but with no success.

[LostinVA]

55. I think you need to make some persistent phone calls

If this is really the case with your mother.

[Demagitator]

13. Self delete dupe

[Angry Mollusk]

56. Right Wingers can be vicious to family members who are gay

"skip that shit. Life's too short to turn your back on family."


Unfortunately many right wingers don't hesitate to turn their backs on liberal family members- particularly if they're gay. Scores of gays were written off as dead by their families for having come out.

I'm gay- so far I've only told my mother, and am not quite sure how my siblings and father will react...But when I'm ready, i'll tell them.
But my oldest brother made it clear how much he hates gays (or 'homos' as he calls us), so I'm not sure when Ill tell him- or if he'll ever speak to me again after he knows...

I've had it easy compared to friends- I have a good friend who is very progressive,and who is gay- His entire family cut him off when he came out,told him he was 'dead' in their eyes, and both parents and his siblings threatened him with violence if they ever saw him again. That's right wing love for you!

[MADem]

58. There are always exceptions that prove the rule.

But the OP didn't indicate that the "Gay Hating" theme was part of the issue. Yes, of course that can be a real problem with fundy families.

I always thought the best way for gays to handle hateful parents/relatives, especially if they were Christian and religious, was to send them cards at Christmas and Easter with a deeply religious theme, and "I still love you despite your inability to follow Jesus's teachings about love, and I forgive you, too" type of heartfelt messages enclosed.

The reason for this is two-fold--it gives them an opening to rapproach should they one day, as they eventully will, see the error of their ways, AND it will piss them off ENORMOUSLY in the interim. It's a closeted "fuck you, too" of a sort.

It really is a "two fer." :evilgrin:

We don't have that issue in our home or extended family, mainly because we socialize relentlessly, we talk about each other (generally behind each other's backs) continuously, and no small detail of anyone's life is allowed to go unremarked upon! It's a bit of a pain at times, but it's certainly a loving atmosphere--you know you can always go home, no matter what the issue, because even if you'll be talked about to death, you'll always have a place at the table and a sympathetic ear to bend.

Back when the "coming out" theme was such a big deal and they were doing made for tee vee movies about it, one of our cousins finally "came out" in rather dramatic "I have an announcement to make" fashion at a family gathering. We all laughed at him (kindly, mind you--not in a mean way), and he was greeted with comments like "So, that's supposed to be news?" "No shit, Sherlock!" "Tell us something we don't know!" It was rather like telling us the sky was blue, or grass was green. We all knew, we just didn't feel compelled to pick apart his life in FRONT of him to that point, out of concern for his "personal space" and a fear of causing him any discomfiture!

His friends were all doing it, so he didn't want to be "left out" of the whole movement.

[Mythsaje]

62. For what it's worth

my advice is to tell your brother and let the chips fall as they may. It's a hard choice, but some good might come out of it in the end. He'll have to decide whether to turn his back on you and walk away--a decision that carries a moral and psychological price in itself--or accept you and, by doing so, learn something about what he professes to hate. That gays are people too, and we all have to come to terms with that fact because they ARE our brothers, sisters, neighbors, teachers, co-workers, children, and friends.

In the interest of full disclosure, I've never had to "come out" about anything to my family members that made one bit of difference. When I became a pagan, I told my dad and, though he was weird about it at first, he's grown to accept it and, in fact, speaks pretty highly now about those "earth people." Ironically enough, I'm not pagan now in any way that matters, but I'm married to one. I'm fairly firmly agnostic and my dad and I have had discussions about THAT too. He says "how can you not believe in God?" and my answer is always one he can accept... "Religion is BULLSHIT." I don't even try to rationalize the existence of God or the afterlife anymore--I don't believe anything ANYONE says about it. What is, is. None of us will receive any answers until it's all over.

I've ended up as something of an agnostic pantheist. The universe, existence, is enough for me to revere or respect. Protect the Earth, study the cosmos, explore what is. Everything beyond that is pure conjecture.

[sepulveda]

7. quite easily

i don't judge people by their political beliefs, but by their character. as to my family members, they are mine - whatever their political beliefs.

people have differing political beliefs for a variety of reasons. heck, i have one close relative who is a very conservative atheist. he makes fun of the christian right more than most on the left do.

i enjoy having political discussions with those who have differing views, so i enjoy the fact that my family does not march in lockstep. frankly, that would be boring, and it proves that my family is full of free thinkers because people choose their own paths, not what their parents told them. and they all have great hearts and are good people. so, it proves to me that political beliefs have very little to do with whether one is a good or nasty person.

i've read some posts here where people express such vitriolic hate towards others with opposing views, and it just boggles my mind.

[Bigmack]

26. A few years ago...

I could have written your post myself.

Not any more.

This shit is serious. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqis have died. 4,000 American servicepeople have died and thousands more maimed. The dollar is trashed. Jobs have disappeared. Civil liberties have disappeared. The country is NOT the country I loved.

I have a hard time just forgetting all this while I talk to the people who not only let it happen, they helped it happen. Out of bone-ignorant stubborn stupidity.

I don't have a family filled with rightwingnuts, thankfully, but I could not - would not - listen to their shit for one minute.

[LeftyMom]

8. My dad is a libertarian leaning republican,

but he can't stand the religious right because he's old enough to remember when they were open about their anti-catholicism, and he hasn't ever bothered to try to defend Bush.

He gets rather offensive on immigration policy, but since I reminded him that his father was an illegal immigrant and that ending birthright citizenship would have meant he himself wouldn't be a citizen he hasn't mentioned it again. Funny how it's only okay to scapegoat immigrants and their children when it's other people being blamed and excluded. ;)

[Popol Vuh]

9. Oh Yes.....

My older brother, his Cuban wife and two kids are. His son just went into the Marine Corp. His whole family still believe all the lies we were feed about Iraq and thinks Bush was a good President.

:puke:


I've tried my best to get him to look at the mountain of evidence of crime, corruption, lies, the dieing economy and the erosion of our constitution, and, he and his family just won't hear any of it. Its long ago gotten to the point where they think liberals are nothing more than wannabe communists and that communism is a proven failure and evil.

:crazy:


So, sadly, the only thing I can do is to ignore them and walk away if they start any political talk when I am around them at family get togethers.

[izquierdista]

11. Reason won't work

So many here on DU think that people come to these conservative positions because of some sort of thought process -- but they didn't. They simply hate queers, wetbacks, coloreds, the homeless, or whoever else their favorite demagogue tells them to hate. That's why they have to have their daily dose of Rush or Hannity or Pat Robertson or.....well, the list goes on ad infinitum since the right wing got rid of the Equal Time provision. It is as useful to point out facts to them as it is to talk to a brick wall. The facts will be dismissed as propaganda, while the distortions of the demagogues will elicit nods of approval.

They need to be treated in the same way as an intervention for a drug addict:

(1)Remove them from the toxic environment. Take them on a fishing trip to the north woods where talk radio doesn't reach. Better yet, get them out of the country, have them see how other people live.
(2)While they are away with you, take them to help out at some volunteer activity. Say you have this cause you are supporting and would they mind going with you. They may roll their eyes, but agree anyway, since you are appealing to their generous nature. Make sure the volunteer work helps people they like to heap their venom on.
(3)Engage them on the way back how good you felt helping out some gay kid who was kicked out of his house, or at a Mexican orphanage, or someone rebuilding their house in New Orleans, or someone evicted from their house living at a shelter.
(4)Be blissfully ignorant of the shame they are starting to feel for being an asshole for so long. Never confront them directly, just indirectly mention how it would be nice it would be to have adequate funding for these causes. Be oblivious to the fact that your comments are rubbing their nose in the dirt and making them feel more ashamed for their past actions.

No, you can't get very far with reason, an eye-opening experience and a bucketful of shame will take you a lot farther. Their daily right-wing talking points are designed to keep the hate going, which also requires them to be isolated from the objects of their hate. Once they are confronted with the people they are supposed to hate, their human side can take over and they will feel shame for their previous hate-fests. Unless you are dealing with someone like Barbara Bush, then you just need to get them to stick their head in one of those dry-cleaning bags.

[mwb970]

17. I'm afraid shame won't work, either.

Your scheme sounds great and is very logical, which is why it can't work. These people are immune to shame, even by the bucketful. Being proven wrong, even with overwhelming evidence, simply makes them dig in, more sure than ever that they are right. (They are like the people who say the world will end on Friday. When it doesn't, they say that that proves they were right.)

It is absolutely hopeless to try to sway the right-wing "mind" in any way. They are just not the swaying type, period. Once their mind's made up, there's no shifting it.

[izquierdista]

18. The Chinese had a way

In the Cultural Revolution they shipped many people off to work in the countryside as peasants. If they wouldn't accept Mao's little red book, then off to tilling fields of bok choy and collecting "night soil".

I once asked a co-worker friend of mine who was the same age as me where he had learned English, did he have to take it in high school. No, he replied, he didn't go to high school. I thought that rather odd, so I inquired more about his background. He proceeded to tell me, over a beer, that when he was 10 years old, he was sent to be a peasant. He worked in the countryside for 10 years, until the death of Mao, before he could resume his education. I always knew that I had been fortunate in my upbringing, but I had never met anyone that made me appreciate it as much as his story did.

If shame at looking at other people's condition doesn't work, then perhaps some time IN their situation will make the right-wing mind reflect on how things actually are. My friend and I didn't talk politics much, but his time spent at the bottom made him very understanding of the lot of common folk and very suspicious of the standard right-wing talking points.

[katmondoo]

14. My son and my daughters husband and his family

yikes, surrounded by them

[Perry Logan]

15. Isolation. Solitary confinement. Waterboarding. Sleep deprivation. Repeated beatings.

[RebelOne]

19. My younger sister is very right wing.

I just try to avoid discussing politics with her. And when she does send me some right-wing e-mails, I usually have no trouble debunking them with snopes.com.

[Iggo]

20. I've got a brother-in-law.

He's one of those "but you have to admit..." folks. I tell him "No, I don't." Then I smile, stand up, excuse myself, and walk away.

[Kajsa]

21. Unfortunately, yes.

My mom was a Democrat at one time, then she switched over to the Repubs.

My oldest brother is a neocon complete with every idiotic argument in the book against
the concept of global warming.

I try to avoid discussing politics with either of them.
With my Mom, I can discuss environmental issues, as she is an animal and nature lover.

The problem with my brother is that, in spite of me asking him to stop, he keeps sending me
these rabid, RW e-mails all the time. The latest one was from a " renown" psychiatrist who
wrote an article stating that liberals were " clinically nuts". Ay-yi-yi!

I just delete the crap, but I'm sure tired of getting them.

Notice the RWingers send US the crap, not the other way around?

I love my family very much and we are dwindling in numbers as many members have passed on
the last few years.

Hang in there, I know how tough it is to deal with them.

[riderinthestorm]

22. I keep my contact very minimal

In my family, it's my mother and one brother in law who are as hard core Rethug as can be PLUS they have all the other lovely attributes that go along with that: racism, bigotry, hatred towards immigrants etc. etc.

I limit my phone calls to my mom to just once/week, I only see my brother in law a couple times/year at family gatherings for major holidays.

It's hard because I feel a sense of obligation to my mom, to stay in touch but she makes it pretty difficult. She doesn't "approve" of what I do (I'm a farmer and that's embarrassing for her that I have such a "pathetic" career), she hates my extracurricular activities (a range of progressive causes: I help at our local food bank, help at my kids' schools, write grants for land conservation agencies and women's shelters, help at political campaigns etc.), she hates my atheism etc. In short, I have structured my life around a range of activities that define my politics and my liberal beliefs. It makes it hard to have a conversation with her since we have virtually nothing in common even if we do stay away from politics. Our relationship is a hollow shell of banalities exchanged for 5 minutes each week and that's it otherwise we quickly move into a truly ugly zone.

My brother in law works to provoke me every time we are together. At family events, aside from sitting and eating the main meal together, I try to physically stay as far away from him as possible. He follows me with the most abusive and foul rants. These gatherings happen at my mother's house and since it's her party, and she just watches it all with amusement, I grow infuriated each time. This last Christmas I told my husband that I was never going to spend another holiday with him/her again. I am through.

[Demagitator]

27. The once a week discussions with my Repuke mother....

lasted for about a month; I would be miserable for the whole day, after. I had to endure 40 minutes each time she called (as if she actually timed it); and it was like talking to a whiny landlord, talking to a tenant that was not paying the rent, routine.

It finally got to the point were our irreconcilable differences caused me to disown her; before she ran my life into the ground.

[alfredo]

23. Uncomfortable. She's a boorish asshole. She's a member of operation

rescue, an adulterer, loud mouthed racist asshole. At the funeral of my father she stood in front of the casket, cigarette in hand, talking loud about family members. She flicked the ashes on the rug and casket. She was married to one uncle and was fucking another. She bragged that when they outlaw abortion they are going after birth control. She's for forced sterilization of black men who marry white women. Yes, she is a Republican.

[PCIntern]

37. Just curious...

what does she look like...general terms of course...I have a pic in my brain but...

[alfredo]

50. A fifties stripper.

[PCIntern]

57. Yich...

thanks for the image.

:hi:

[alfredo]

67. Kind of a buzz kill.

[CANDO]

24. I have a brother

We don't keep the peace. It's family warfare. I just schooled him with five e-mail corrections yesterday. One was a blatantly false Limbaugh show assertion, which I easily googled the truth on the topic. It's not easy getting a Supreme Court decision wrong, but Rush somehow managed to do that! Then he crowed about the PEW Research study on news source truthfulness by touting Rush's listeners in the top tier. I shot him down easily on that one by pointing out that The Daily Show/Colbert Report, Major Newspapers, NPR, and News Hour with Jim Lehrer all scored higher with audience knowledge. Also the fact that he completely ignored Focksnoozes miserably low rating compared to nearly every other media in the country. But of course, I'm better off talking to walls.

[ReformedChris]

25. As Rush would say "Defeat Him In The Arena Of Ideas"

I converted from the dark side and can tell you the only way to defeat that kind of misinformation is laying on the facts. Defend your liberal thinking while slowly peeling away the layers of conservative lies. The most important thing to do however, is express how liberalism will NOT rob a person of individuality or religion. That is the number one fear of people that know liberalism is right, but are just fearful of the truth. Ask him questions also, What makes GWB so conservative? Is this country better off 8 years ago then it is now? Just keep pounding away on the myths and you will emerge victorious and your brother should see the light.

[CANDO]

30. Don't think that'll ever happen

He is too proud to ever admit he was wrong or any of his sources are. He is a true believer. EVERYTHING not filtered through his right-wing media echo chamber is suspected of liberal bias. My brother is not dumb either. He is a college graduate. I'm anxious to see how he responds on Rush being wrong about the Supreme Court decision. Rush was actually using it to show how Obama is "dangerously ignorant". OMG, it felt so good to send him the link to the actual court case decision with relevant parts hi-lighted for added effect!

[Demagitator]

33. What is it, with their mental fixation with the media?

It is the same with my family member... the media is like a god to her. It is like I'm not even talking to a person-- and of course the TV is on literally almost 24 hours a day; as the Pizzas and Chinese junk food is delivered.

Now, a few weeks ago; she calls me shocked that she has cancer of the blood; expecting me to give up everything an be her caretaker. I for two years told her -- basically how even the millionaires -- use the system to protect their assets; so that they can remain independent, and stay out of an institution. But she ignored it all, and,the medical community will eventually take all; and drag her into an institution.

But she believed the Repuke formulas, she watched on TV; which is that we need no government help, that family members, are just begging to give up everything and help sick family members, etc. It is all a lie.

[Irishonly]

28. I Am The So-called Black Sheep Of My Family

Most of my family are republicans with two die hard neocon cousins. I am very close to one and we don't talk politics too often. I don't understand the rage of neocons when someone doesn't agree. My cousin believes the surge is working and in her little bedroom community she doesn't see how bad the economy is. The last time my cousin visited I took her on a tour on the Inland Valley. She got to see homeless camps, lines for hot meals served at a local church and met the head of the COC here and got an earful of how bad it is. It stunned her and although I am sure she went back to her safe life it opened her eyes for a minute. She also gets frustrated when I say something will happen and it does. We will banter back and forth until I get frustrated and bam her with facts.

My cousin will probably vote for McCain unless the press keeps on the lobbyist scandals. She hates Senator Clinton with a passion and the only reason she gives is that she didn't divorce President Clinton or at least until Vitter was caught. She should know better but she will buy into the Obama slams he isn't patriotic. She knows he isn't Muslim although she says she worries about influence. At that point I usually make some smart crack and she will laugh.

[youthere]

29. Yes I do...and I simply don't.

One of my brother's and his wife are born-again and I made it real clear the first time they started on the "Bush is the messiah" I wouldn't tolerate it. They strenuously avoid any mention of religion or politics when they are around my husband and I. Talk is limited to the weather, the kids and other "safe topics". Occasionally they will veer away from the script and say something and when they do, I tell them to shove it.

[leftofthedial]

31. buried out behind the garage

:rofl:

seriously, I'm lucky. All my family members are sane.

[melm00se]

34. you shrug your shoulders

and remember that they are family and the bonds of family transcend political and religious discussions.

[Lars39]

35. That only works if it's a mutual feeling.

Too many times a neo-con comes with a very skewed and toxic view of how a family should interact.

[melm00se]

39. and the reaction is

what fuels the discord. Like I said, shrug your shoulders, know that you can't pick your family and try to steer the conversation elsewhere.

My wife is looking over my shoulder as I type this (her family's political leanings go from Uncle John, a real honest to goodness real live card carrying communist all the way to Uncle Tony who makes Rush Limbaugh look like a leftist radical) and is saying that they are family who, at the end of the day, are all you can truly rely on (that's the Italian take on the subject).

[PCIntern]

36. We bricked him up in the basement a la E.A. Poe...

haven't heard from him since...

:rofl: and :sarcasm: just in case...

[NOLALady]

38. There is one idiot.

He's sexist as well as racist. If he starts a rant, I tell him he has a choice...He will STFU or he will LEAVE!

Plain and simple.

[khaos]

41. family is more important than politics..

[Demagitator]

42. Does that apply to divorced familes as well? n/t

[khaos]

49. for me it applies to everyone..

we've been screwed over by democrat and republican parties that share the same basic ideologies; no need to make enemies with people about things that are beyond our control. deep down most of us all want the same things..

[riderinthestorm]

66. It's the DEMOCRATIC party.

Not the Democrat party - that's considered a slam, FYI.

Welcome to DU. :hi:

[napi21]

43. I have several! I just make sure I never discuss politics around them!

It's really not worth it. They will NEVER change their opinions, and other than politics, we get along GREAT!

[GreenPartyVoter]

44. I married into a RW Christian family. We just avoid talk of politics

[Seeking Serenity]

45. DH is a Republican

I don't know how the poster defines an "ultra right-wing Republican."

He considers himself a Reagan-cum-libetarian type Republican. Actually, he considers himself more "conservative" than "Republican" (he's not a party member or anything; he just votes for them).

We're both Christian.

We keep the peace by not discussing politics (much), and when we do, we don't let our voices get raised.

And, if we do, there's always kissing and making up later.

He goes downstairs to watch "O'Reilly." If I watch KO, I do so upstairs.

I cancel out his votes (or does he cancel out mine; I'm not quite sure).

I guess our political inclinations are not as central to our very beings the way they are to some. We live and let live.

I love him to the very end. Whatever happens, we'll go through it together.

What does that make me?

[Angry Mollusk]

47. By radical right wing Republican

I mean a bible thumping, Rush Limbagh worshiping, FOX news watching, liberal bashing, war mongering, gay hating, venom spouting person.

(in answer to:

"I don't know how the poster defines an "ultra right-wing Republican.")

[Seeking Serenity]

51. Then I guess DH the Republican isn't one of those

He believes his Bible (we both do; we're Christians, after all).

He listens to Rush (he keeps his radio tuned to the same station at work all day long; at home, I put on NPR and he's cool with that, although he will try to argue with the radio from time to time), but doesn't "worship" him. That would be idolatry.

He does watch FOX News (pretty much limited to Brit Hume and O'Reilly). He cannot abide KO and even quit watching the Sunday Night Football pre-game show because KO is on it.

He says about liberals, "I don't hate liberals. They're just wrong about so many things," and then goes on to argue why he thinks so. Is that liberal bashing?

War-mongering. Not sure what that means, either. That seems bit of a loaded term. He did support the Afghan and Iraq wars initially, although he's cooled to the latter, primarily because of the ineptitude of the execution, not because it was wrong, per se. He does believe in American exceptionalism. He's certainly not a "bomb 'em all, let God sort them out" type.

He doesn't hate gays, but neither is he soon to be a candidate for a GLAAD poster. I think he would just as soon everyone keep their sexuality to themselves.

Venom spouting. Since that has a subjective meaning, I won't touch that one.

Whadd'ya think?

[mainegreen]

46. I showed him that Bush isn't an old school republican.

Old school republican is what he is. I can deal will old school republicans.
Now he doesn't support Bush and pays closer attention to Republican candidates to determine if they are old school or new school.

[CANDO]

59. Ask him what he thinks of Eisenhower

That is my definition of old school Republican. Dwight Eisenhower was an amazing man who warned us all of the dangers of the military industrial complex. He gave awesome speeches pointing out the costs of war making and what we could have done with that money elsewhere for schools and libraries and housing.

[jpljr77]

52. I have an interesting situation on that front, I think.

Nearly all of my family is pretty pro-Republican. I'm from southern Georgia, and a lot of my family still lives there, so some of the Pub bias is based on current local trends, some is based on religious beliefs and some is a fairly rational personal financial bias.

They like to talk to me about politics because I live in DC, although I do not work in politics. I guess they feel that I must have certain insight into politics and just absorb it by osmosis.

The interesting part is that they all think I'm a Republican as well. I think it's because of my ardent support of McCain in 2000, back when he was slightly saner. What I didn't tell them is that I actually voted for Gore after McCain was "black-babied" out of the Pub nomination race.

And let me be clear: I do NOTHING to reinforce their assertion that I'm a Republican. When I discuss politics with my dad, a quasi-Limbaugh style Pub that I actually think should be voting Republican based on his financial situation, I play it down the middle and speak in generalities. In fact, I recently even lauded Clinton and Obama and bashed Bush (he agreed, fwiw) on our last phone call...a pretty big step for me. I did not, however, mention that I voted for Obama in the Potomac Primaries.

My mom, who is an evangelical Pub (my parents are divorced, btw), has a little better understanding of my politics simply because I am more open with her because, well, she's my mom. She's known for a while that I have no love for Bush and voted for Kerry and would most likely vote for the Dem nominee in November. But she still doesn't know the extent of my liberalness.

And I'll tell you, it makes for surprisingly candid conversations on their part. Just a few weeks ago, I was talking to my grandmother and she actually said, "I just can't imagine being forced to say 'President Obama.'" Likewise, my mom said that Hillary would "be a shame for women all over the country" if she won. And, probably the saddest of all, my dad said that he voted for McCain because he was probably the best chance to defeat "either of them" in November. And he HATES McCain.

So that's how I deal with it...avoidance. Maybe that's not the bravest thing to do, but it makes for easier familial relations.

[guitar man]

53. lots of them

How do I deal with them? They are my family, whatever goes on in DC and elsewhere isn't going to tear us apart. A few of them have gotten fed up and are defecting....I've been more than happy to sit down and tell them the truth now that they are ready to listen. :hi:

[Hekate]

60. I never discuss politics with my elderly uncle--I love him. The only time I talked with his son...

...I made some offhand comment and he replied that I "sounded like Sister Antonia" which I took as a tremendous compliment. Sr Antonia is an elderly nun, a second-cousin of ours whom I have never met, but who has devoted her life to protecting Latin American refugees and fighting nuclear weapons. The FBI at one time considered her interesting. Wow.

Anyhow, my cousin has spent his working life mostly out of the country, working for Uncle Sam in various embassies. Needless to say our paths don't cross that often. When it looked like we were headed for disagreement, I kept it very short and to the point and then dropped politics forever. I gave him some facts (hospitals all over the place are shutting down and "consolidating" for lack of funds, so many State National Guards are overseas that local fire, police, and sheriffs departments are hurting, etc.). He actually had not known any of that. His knowledge is deep but focused outside the country, not inside.

My policy is, unless a relative or neighbor actually gets in my face and refuses to shut up, I will leave politics out of our relationship unless we already agree. I want to live in peace with family and friends.

Hekate

[treestar]

61. I usually ask them a challenging question or make one remark

so they know their BS is not universally agreed to. Then just leave it with them to think about.

I have several family members who ought to be and were Democrats. They are Catholic and of working class descent. Yet the abortion issue is so important to them that the refuse to vote for any pro-choice candidate, no matter what else they are voting for when they vote for the repuke.

Lately I have tried suggesting that the people in Iraq are real too, and that their dying is worse because they have been born and have relatives who will want revenge, and that this enmity can last for generations. Also, repuke Presidents and even Congresses have done nothing to change the law of Roe v. Wade. They want cannon fodder, they are not against abortion for the right reasons. I don't know if this is making any sort of dent in their hard heads.

Another one always goes on about "the politicians." He had a mindless hate of all politicians. They represent themselves, not the people, he asserts. I said maybe they were representing not just him. This person is that type of aggressively ignorant type - the less you know, the more you think you know.

[tekisui]

63. Ignore them.

[bunkerbuster1]

64. Burial plot out back.

Kidding!