Mistaken for a "drifter."

[Mythsaje]

I had some errands to do today, mostly involving going to my job and letting them know I'd be off the schedule for an indeterminate time, and picking up my MRI films to take over to a spinal specialist to make an appointment there.

As I'm on painkillers, and generally unable to drive my car right now otherwise because the effort of turning the wheel with my left arm is just beyond what I can safely manage--particularly since my left arm seems to want go dead at more or less random intervals, I left home intending on catching the bus. Of course, I'm not moving as well as normal--even though it doesn't really affect my gait, it being my upper back that's afflicted, I am forced to move carefully to avoid jostling my back and shoulder too much. I didn't make it to the bus stop on time.

Now I didn't much like the idea of standing around for fifteen minutes at the bus stop waiting for the next bus. Even in normal circumstances, my body doesn't really like standing around. So I decided to walk up to the corner 7-11 to get something to drink.

As I was walking past the side of the store, a younger guy sitting there hit me up for some change--saying that he wanted to buy some beer. I stopped, turned off my IPod, and he looked at me and said "Hey, I wouldn't have said that if I hadn't thought you were a drifter too."

I passed him a little change--what I could spare above bus-fare for the next couple days, since I have some errands to run tommorow, and told him "well, I have been, but I'm not now" and wished him good luck.

I was struck by the strangeness of this exchange. First, that he'd mistaken me for a "drifter." I suppose it might have been that I'd misjudged the weather and worn my jacket out into a day a bit warm for it, or because the jacket is in need of a washing, or a combination of the two. Or that he mistook me for someone he'd seen on the streets. Either way, it struck me as odd.

Then the whole "I wouldn't have said that..." part of it. I suppose he was regretting telling me that he intended to buy beer, though I can't say I give a damn about that. It makes no never-mind to me, though he couldn't have known that. I passed him what I thought I could afford at the moment and didn't think twice about it. On another day, one in which I wasn't concerned about how much money I'd have on hand for a while because of missing work due to my back injury, I might've passed over more money if I'd had it on hand. I appreciate the honesty inherent in asking for money to buy a beer.

There are those who will tell you not to give money to those who ask, and would never, ever consider giving money to someone so they could buy beer, of all things. "Don't encourage them," you might hear.

Well, encouragement is precisely what they need, even if it's just passing on a sincere "good luck" as you pass out of the moment of interaction. It's tough out there on the streets--so many people may, hopefully, never quite understand HOW tough it can be. I've been there, though it's now been several years, and I will never forget it.

This encounter reminded me of that past and I don't think that's a bad thing. We could all use those little reminders of our current good fortune, such as it is, and some of the trials we've had to go through to get there. More people could use a true understanding of how life is like for those who don't have anyplace specific to hang their hats.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

1. I'm honored to be the first Rec.

And thank you. I've been a hair's breadth from being there myself, more than once.
:hug:

[Warpy]

2. Untreated DTs are 50% fatal.

When someone who is in need panhandles me for money, I try to be generous. It's not up to me to infantilize them by dictating what they spend it on.

Don't get me wrong, I hate alcohol and think it's the worst drug in the world. It kills people in my family. I just know what will happen if an actively drinking alcoholic has to skip too many doses of it.

[Extend a Hand]

4. It's a shame that a disease like alcoholism

is treated as some kind of a moral failing in this country.

[Sock Puppet]

14. thank you.

You are a truly compassionate person.

[murielm99]

3. My husband often gives money

to homeless people or to people begging in big cities. What he doesn't like are the people who try to run scams, asking for two dollars for gas or to make a phone call. Certain scams seem to make the rounds, then disappear for something new. He would rather give money to seemingly honest drifters.

[rusty quoin]

5. I am finding it more difficult to tell the difference between drifters

and non-drifters in my town. Down and out? Homeless? Semi-homeless? I see a depression coming.

[Warpy]

6. I had mall cops following me around

when I first inherited because my thrift shop wardrobe was in rags. I beat a retreat and discovered online shopping.

I know how it feels. Unfortunately, rags are going to be the coming uniform until we manage to get this mess straightened out.

I expect to be teaching people how to mend and darn.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

9. I'm re-learning...

Socks are getting darned, I have 2 boxes in the closet marked "mending" and "rags". The cool bits go into the 'crazy quilt' bag.

Why didn't I pay more attention when I was a kid? There was so much useful knowledge all around me, and now it's gone. :(

[Warpy]

15. I took everything in

thank goodness. My mother always had a basket next to the chair she sat in when the TV was on. It was full of either knitting or mending. I learned the mending early on. I didn't learn how to knit until I was 40 and I learned out of a book. Her attempt to teach me had been an abortive one because a 3 year old just doesn't have the dexterity to do it and I got written off as a hopeless klutz too fast. I figured out the darning because I hadn't learned to knit. I also figured out how to do patches that made other people envy jeans gone rotten at the knee.

I'll let somebody else do the crazy quilts. My rags get turned into rugs on my big old rug loom. I have bluejean rugs all over my house.

[mitchtv]

7. Besides beer is the cheapest medication around

he was an adult, you never know but,you can bet he's uninsured

[EFerrari]

8. Encouragement is what most of us need and in any form we can get it.

Right on. :)

[windbreeze]

10. My neighbor and I went to Costco here a week or so ago....

and as we were walking through the store, I turned back to her and said...look around, what we take for granted.....here we are in a store, where everything you could possibly want is available...how thankful we should be that we are so fortunate...I think this kind of goes along with the story about your encounter, in a strange sort of way...Sometimes we just need to stop and think about what we have, and be honestly thankful...good on you, giving him money for a beer...he was honest...an admirable quality...and you were generous...also admirable...wb

[ConsAreLiars]

11. My SO joked that I should just walk around and lead the drunks into rehab services

since I seemed to appear to be a friend to so many, judging by the interactions. A joke, of course - she wishing to somehow help and an "I wish it was so simple" lament.

Probably just my scruffy appearance, but I like to think that such encounters were more than that. Not sure which came first in terms of a social awareness, but my only encounters with people who seemed less than human, or lacking in something, were a very few encounters with the lower rungs of the ruling elite. (See "Roger and Me" to get a sense of what I am talking about.)


Great post. The core truth. Thank you.

[tavalon]

12. One of my SOs has always been like that and it's one of the things I first noticed,

that I liked. We have a newspaper here called real change that some of the homeless sell and he would stop and talk to the people selling it. One evening, I noticed we ended up having a half dozen of that newspaper by the time we got home. I enjoyed the conversations that he would initiate and we two would jump into. One guy that we ran into a number of times ended up doing handyman work for my SO and fast forward many years, that man lives on my SOs property and while I'm talking about him with distance, he has become family. Quirky family, but I think that's the best kind.

My SO really helped me look past the labels to the people wearing them.

[Richard Steele]

13. K&R

[ieoeja]

16. Been mistaken a few times.

I sometimes dress down a good ways. One time some woman in fancy dress handed me a dollar when I was just standing near a corner waiting on my ride.

As I recall, I ended up spending that dollar on beer!


My (now ex-)wife and I ran into a guy outside the bar we were headed to trying to pull a "scam". Needed money for the bus.

"We'll give you a ride!"

"Was hoping to get enough to grab a sandwich."

"Then we'll buy you a sandwich instead!"

"Okay. I'll admit it. I am just trying to get money for a beer."

"Then we'll buy you a beer instead!"

Which we did.

[knitter4democracy]

17. Sorry for your pain.

Gentle :hug: I broke my rib badly this week, so I walk differently, too. It's hard to deal with pain, but back pain like yours is just plain awful. Be gentle with yourself.

Thank you for helping him. Times are getting hard for more and more, and I don't see how acting like we're all alone is going to help us get through this. We need to regain our sense of community--the entire community, not just those with houses or money.

[hunter]

18. I got that look about me sometimes.

Leftover, I suppose, from the times years ago when I was drifting about.