A Sunday Joke On GWB ---- Hits The Target!

[Bobbieo]

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages.
You'll want to be the first at your corporation to make a contribution to this great man's legacy.

The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you
to go
back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.

The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with
shooting gallery.

Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - where you can buy
(or
just steal) an election.

The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite
Republican Senators.

Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale
model of the President's ego.

To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an
electron microscope to help you locate them.

When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the
individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.

[madokie]

1. that got a chuckle

[angrycarpenter]

2. You forgot the worlds largest paper shredder

and the equipment room where all of the power for the whole place comes out of a single chinese made extension cord.

[Hydra]

3. The floor for his ego needs to be bigger, or the scale smaller

:spray:

[lpbk2713]

4. There's also the Katherine Harris Room ....

There's no need to even go in there. They will decide for you what you

would want to see and then they will just tell you about it later.

[TahitiNut]

5. Will there be a Petting Zoo where folks can 'milk' the horses??

:dunce:

[madokie]

7. I'm betting w will keep that private

at least until after hes dead

[defendandprotect]

6. The "Mission Accomplished" flight suit . . . ????

and the ear piece/transmitter used for debates and other functions when one has to try a little
harder to make sense?

[Beam Me Up]

11. Yes, I'd pay to see that one . . .

The one with the cod piece, the "mission accomplished" banner -- and lets not forget the rubber T-day turkey.

[uppityperson]

8. I'd like to send this to a friend and would like to give credit to writer.

Thanks. quite funny

[Raster]

9. Outstanding! If the "ego" floor is a 7/8 scale model, you're gonna need a bigger floor!

What, no "my beautiful mind" theater in tribute to the Silver Douche Bag, complete with body bags bearing corporate logos? And certainly the Texas Petroleum Mafia will have an exhibit, as will the Saudi royal family. Perhaps Bhurkas by Bandar in the K Street Project Gift Shop. And no george w. bush* library would be complete without the 9/11 wing, complete with THE copy of "My Pet Goat" enshrined in glass and structural steel. Oops, don't forget those "magic" box cutters... a must have item in the K Street Project Gift Shop.

[Dukkha]

10. I guess the Bin Laden room was lost

and they didn't want to bother looking for it

[Beam Me Up]

12. I hear that stopped looking for it. n/t

[Ghost in the Machine]

13. George W. Bush Resume

GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington , DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam

COLLEGE

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas .

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union .

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S . "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I am a member of the Republican Party.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=24d_1188664523

[Arugula Latte]

14. This would be good for a mass e-mail. We should start the ball rolling.

This is the kind of stuff the rightwing has been good at for years. We need more of this succinct type of humor writing that really makes several very important points.

:thumbsup: