Bush Says He Lets Red Phone Go Straight to Voicemail

[Wetzelbill]

Bush Says He Lets Red Phone Go Straight to Voicemail
Andy Borowitz

President George W. Bush commented on Sen. Hillary Clinton's controversial "red phone" campaign ads at the White House today, telling reporters, "When that red phone rings, I just let it go straight to voicemail."

Mr. Bush rarely comments about the Democratic presidential contest, but he said that he had to speak up about Sen. Clinton's red phone ads because he found them "so confusing."

"If I answered the red phone every time it rang, I would never get any sleep," Mr. Bush said. "Sometimes it starts ringing at 9 PM, and I am already tucked in by then."

Mr. Bush said that "there's nothing so important that it can't wait until tomorrow, or whenever I remember to check my voicemail."

In a rebuke of Sen. Clinton, Mr. Bush added, "If she doesn't know about letting your calls go straight to voicemail, I don't think she has the experience to be president."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/bush-says-he-lets-red-pho_b_89567.html

[leftchick]

1. please tell me this is an onion piece

please? :scared:

[spanone]

2. this may be one of the few instances when junior told the truth

[Kikosexy2]

32. Do you feel..

safe now?...My God! America is surely stupid!!! for having this dumb-ass in command...

[DavidDvorkin]

3. Borowitz is a comedian

He puts pieces like this on his Web site. They're spoofs, just like the Onion.

[qb]

7. It is difficult to construct a good spoof when the most idiotic quote is so believable. nt

[Wetzelbill]

9. no kidding

I like the last line about McCain and the telegraph key. :)

[orleans]

5. from the link:

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of The Nine. For tickets, go to 92y.org.

[Wetzelbill]

14. Andy Borowitz is a comedian

:) I figured I'd interject some humor into the depths of GD. :)

[leftchick]

17. thanks but

it isn't really funny when I think it could be real. :crazy:

[Wetzelbill]

18. I would like to disagree with you

but I don't think I can. Maybe it qualifies as black humor? lol :)

[leftchick]

27. yes it is

:)

[EFerrari]

25. Sometimes a good laugh, terrified or not,, is your best chance

for deciding to survive Junior.

[PDJane]

4. you know, there's something seriously wrong

With that fellow's brain. I think it's damaged here and there, truly.

I know the above is a joke, but watch Bush walk someday.....it's an interesting method.

[Wetzelbill]

8. what makes it funny is you could imagine him saying something

this dumb for real. :)

[angrycarpenter]

6. Remind me again why America elected him.

Oh yeah. we didn't.

Betcha he jumps out of bed for the black phone that is shaped like a skull.

[Vickers]

10. I don't blame him one damn bit.

Good for you, George!

:thumbsup:

[niyad]

11. the sad thing is, that piece probably isn't far from the truth.

dn't forget, poppy didn't even know what supermarket scanners were.

this family is NOT technilogically savvy

[Wetzelbill]

12. I remember that, he was incredulous at scanners

I think he thought the stork brought food or something.

[TechBear_Seattle]

13. Is this a comic piece that is believable or

... is reality that terribly twisted?

It is so hard to tell these days.

[Wetzelbill]

16. It's like the time I posted an article that Bush threatened to bomb the Canary Islands

because of the Bird flu. He is such a dangerous moron that you just really don't know the distinction between fact and fiction. One one hand, it's ridiculous that Bush would want to blow up the Canary Islands...., yet on the other hand, it's fucking Bush, and that idiot just might do it. :)

[opihimoimoi]

15. I know its a joke but with him...it could very well be the truth...On D Day..Hitler slept in...no

one dare wake him...and so...the Normandy Landing was a success......"for the want of a phone call....."

[uppityperson]

19. k&r for Borowitz and The Onion for seeing reality.

[Wetzelbill]

20. it's from Huff Post

not The Onion. And thanks for the K&R. :)

[uppityperson]

22. I know, was just adding that in along with Borowitz.

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing on Iraq. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[Wetzelbill]

23. the mere fact that I still read that joke frightens me

At least I wasn't Rick Rolled.

[Hydra]

21. That's the problem with satire

Too close to the truth.

OTOH, I'd rather W. not answer that phone. Much as it pains me to say, I'd rather Cheney answer it the way he usually does.

[Wetzelbill]

24. It's no coincidence that this is great era of political satire and comedy

Colbert, Stewart, Franken and his books. Letterman. Bush is worth so much awesome material. Sure, he's the worst president ever and devastated our country, but still...

[Hydra]

26. Ya, as John Stewart said after Cheney shot that guy in the face:

"It's too easy."

With Bushco in office, this stuff writes itself. Too bad so many people need to die for good comedy to be written :evilgrin:

[baby_mouse]

28. All this time I thought he was stupid and now I think he's INTELLIGENT and SCARY.

Oh, sorry, wrong thread.

[MiniMe]

29. How scary is it that I wouldn't doubt it for a minute.

Yes, I know this is from a comedian. But I wouldn't doubt it. I think RayGun wasn't available after he went to bed.

[rainman99]

30. I'm glad to know the country is safer.

[rainman99]

31. I'm glad to know the country is safer.

[Hotler]

33. I love this part.....

Campaigning in Houston, former President Bill Clinton took issue with Mr. Bush's remarks, telling reporters, "When I get a call at 3 AM, I always pick up, if you know what I mean."

Pressed to explain exactly what he meant, the former president said, "Three o'clock in the morning -- come on! Odds are we're talking about a booty call."

Shortly after his "booty call" remark, the Clinton campaign said that they were revising the former president's itinerary to focus on states that had already voted in February.
:evilgrin:

[Wetzelbill]

34. yeah he's very witty

He always has me rolling. :)

[dweller]

35. It's 9am ... the clue phone is ringing ... and ringing ...

and ringing ... and ringing....





and ringing ... and ringing ...






dp

[Wetzelbill]

36. LMAO

Yeah that and the rest of the time it rings he's riding his bike.

[Marr]

37. "There's nothing so important that it can't wait until tomorrow."

Pretty much.