President Bush Discusses Economy (asshole in chief)

[uppityperson]

Italics are my tiny additions.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2008/03/20080307-4.html

Earlier today I spoke with members of my economic team. They updated me on the state of our economy. This morning we learned that our economy lost 63,000 payroll jobs in February, although the unemployment rate improved to 4.8 percent, ignoring the fact that people have been out of work so long they are not counted on official unemployment records.

Losing a job is painful, though I always had my daddy to help me out and I know Americans are concerned about our economy; so am I. It's clear our economy has slowed, but the good news is, we anticipated this and took decisive action to bolster the economy, by passing a growth package that will put money into the hands of American workers and businesses. I had no idea that gas would reach $4.00/gallon, but don't worry. I have a Plan for that also. heh heh heh

I signed this growth package into law just three weeks ago, and its provisions are just starting to kick in. First, a growth package includes incentives for businesses to make investments in new equipment this year. These incentives are now in place, and they are starting to have an impact. My advisors tell me that investment in new equipment remains solid thus far in the first quarter.

And as more businesses take advantage of these new incentives, as well as lower interest rates, we expect investment will continue to grow, and that businesses will begin creating new jobs in the months ahead.

Secondly, the growth package will provide tax rebates to more than 130 million American households. These rebates will begin reaching American families in May. And when the money reaches the American people, we expect they will use it to boost consumer spending, and that will spur job creation, as well. Yeah, $300-$600 is really going to create new jobs. Really. Wanna go have a beer?

We believe that the steps we have taken, together with the actions taken by the Federal Reserve, will have a positive effect on our economy. So my message to the American people is this: I know this is a difficult time for our economy, but we recognized the problem early, and provided the economy with a booster shot. We will begin to see the impact over the coming months. And in the long run, we can have confidence that so long as we pursue pro-growth, low-tax policies that put faith in the American people, our economy will prosper. (am I done now? Can I go have that beer?)

[SpiralHawk]

1. Chef Spiral Hawk's republicon-recession peanut-butter sandwich recipe

Go to frig and observe that there is no bread because the Bush-republicon recession has sent wheat prices through the roof, and decimated my meager income.

Conduct archeological dig in back of frig, and find ossified remains of 2-year old peanut butter jar. Use knife to chip out old gunk stuck to bottom. Mix with water to soften. Consume.

Bon Appetite !

[Wizard777]

2. Just endorse your tax refund check over to Hallibuton and everything will be okay.

Cheney's getting tired of being their inside bagman. Now it's your turn to run the money to them.