This is the kind of idiot I live near.
http://www.thedailylight.com/articles/2008/03/09/opinion/doc47d356b05930b912333061.txtA peculiar primary was had in Ellis County. It seems the various party faithful got confused and voted in each other’s primaries in record numbers, especially the Republicans. In spite of suggestions from your Republican Congressman Joe Barton, your Republican National Committeeman Bill Crocker and yours truly, some Republicans still decided to engage in the tactics of the absurd and voted for Monica Lewinsky’s former boyfriend’s wife because they were deathly afraid that the smooth-tongued son of the coupling of a Muslim and a hippie might become president. Then there were the Republicans who crossed over to vote for the product of the coupling of a Muslim and a hippie – a mippie? – because they were afraid that Monica Lewinsky’s ex-boyfriend’s wife might actually become president.
What a silly waste of time.
Meanwhile, most Republicans who voted Tuesday managed to find their own primary. After all, there was a sign at the polling place. Their choices were no less interesting. The good news is that in the Republican presidential primary in Ellis County, more than 400 Republicans and 33 tinfoil-hat-wearing nutcakes voted for a candidate who supports the U.S. Constitution, constitutional spending limits and a sound dollar. That candidate received more than 70 percent of the vote — in his congressional district in his race for the U.S. House of Representatives. That candidate was Congressman Ron Paul. The residents of that congressional district in our great state obviously care more about the constitutional limits of government than most Ellis Countians, at present, anyway.
I know some of you are asking the question, can you appear more than once on the ballot? Yes, at least in Texas, if you are running for president, you can run for re-election to another federal office. It is called the LBJ Rule. So Ron Paul was re-elected in the 14th Congressional District, but was less successful in his bid for the presidency.
The remaining significant number of Republican voters split their vote between the rock-and-rolling shill for corporate chicken farmers and God-awful high sales taxes and that grouchy old man from Arizona. The very senior senator from Arizona managed to edge the huckster from Arkansas by two whole votes in our county, in spite of the fact that many county Republicans’ voter registration cards are now stained with the scarlet ink of having voted in the Democrat primary. To paraphrase my good friend and fellow Republican Dan Altman: A lot of folks who claim to be Republican but vote in the Democratic primary are like men who wear women’s clothes on Halloween. It’s not just a costume for a party; they really like the feel of women’s underwear.
Meanwhile, statewide in the Democratic primary things were simply nostalgic. The daily paper published in the colossus to our north reports that one Democrat precinct chairman attempted to flee to Denny’s when Barak Hussein Obama’s supporters decided to question her need to “correct” certain voter documents. Obama supporters were finally led by the primary worker to the local police station. There was no indication as to whether the officers helped her with the needed corrections.
Reports from certain South Texas counties indicate that there was extremely high Democrat voter turnout not even counting the usual late night rush of voters from the cemeteries. Statewide, Democrat voters were happily fighting each other in precinct caucus meetings until dawn. Evidently, some traveled to local police stations to further their discussions.
Perhaps it was just their way of remembering the week the Alamo fell.
Arguably with the assistance of a few spectral voters and more than one “voter correction,” the junior senator from New York managed to vault past the junior senator from Illinois to grasp victory in the Texas Democrat primary. The cross dressing uh crossover Republican voters seemed to cancel each other’s votes out in the Democratic primary this year. Meanwhile, reports indicated that many “old guard” Texas Democrats pulled out all stops to secure a victory for Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. Rumor has it they hadn’t had this much fun since they found box 13 in Jim Wells County in 1948 or the mail ballot melee in Duval County in 2006.
The effect of the large number of Republicans who voted in the Texas Democratic primary in Ellis County? They will not be able to vote in key Republican run-off races this spring. You see, that is the law. Those voters will not be able to cast a ballot in the runoff for sheriff or for the Republican nominee for commissioner, Precinct One.
Oh well.
Ironically, those same voters did not materially effect the presidential race in a significant way. The very same number of crossover voters could easily affect county Republican runoffs, but now they will not have the opportunity.
At least a few normally Democrat voters in Ellis County crossed over to vote for James Ledbetter in the Republican primary. They will be able to vote in the Republican runoffs. Democrats who voted in their own primary will not be able to vote in Republican runoffs, however.
As far as local races, I still endorse Johnny Brown for sheriff. Although I do not live in commissioner’s Precinct One, I also endorse Dennis Robinson in the runoff on the condition that he maintain his independence from anyone who happens to office in the county courthouse.
It’s a lesson that is also evident from some other primary results as well.
On a truly absurd note, your federal government is spending $42 million to tell you that your Economic Stimulus Check is in the mail, or rather the notice will be, the check is supposed to be — sometime later this year. Don’t you think a bunch of us might notice a real check in our mail box? If we are too dumb to notice that a check is in our mail box, maybe we are too dumb to deal with the cash.
Paul D. Perry is a contributing Sunday columnist for the Daily Light. He is a local businessman and mediator and a former Ellis County justice of the peace.
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