My mother said this: Men think with their penises - especially powerful men.

[Hawkeye-X]

Who disagrees?

Intelligent men uses their brain for logic.

Before you bash my mom - she is a liberal Democrat that is planning on voting for Obama (although it's irrelevant in this topic)

Hawkeye-X

[NightWatcher]

1. hey I resemble that remark

little nightwatcher is an idiot sometimes

[BoneDaddy]

164. Don't apologize for being sexual

The crew on this board will make you ashamed for being male...don't be. They act as if they were never caught up in sexual passion and thinking sexually first before what might violate their personal sense of ethics.

Whether you act on it is the issue and that not just the domain of men.

[BlueJac]

2. Sometimes that is true................not for sure though.

[undeterred]

3. My mother said this: All men want to be president.

Therefore, all penises want to be president.

[Iris]

And yet, many, many, many men manage to NOT cheat on their spouses or significant others

with prostitutes or otherwise.


go figure.

[malaise]

64. Most men would given the opportunity

not necessarily with a prostitute, but under the right circumstances both men and women can cheat on the side with relative ease.
I've been married for ages and I neither know or care whether hubby has stolen a little something on the side.

I sure had more than a few opportunities but never did because it just wasn't worth the hassle and deceit required. We have way too many friends who messed up everything for a few thrills. We've always given each other space and who really knows what their partner did or does in all his free time.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

84. Wow I would be pissed

If my wife cheated on me physically *or* emotionally...

[theboss]

131. I don't think you speak for the majority

I think you can forgive infidelity but few people condone it.

[Winterblues]

129. At least that we know of

:shrug: Just like most women don't cheat either..right...

[jakem]

149. statistically, i believe most married people do not manage to not cheat...

:shrug:

[Iris]

150. yeah, I guess only malaise and her husband have the good sense to learn from the mistakes of others

:sarcasm:

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. I do.

And, before you bash me, my husband was a powerful man in his own right. Tops in his field, tops in his place of employment. Tops in our family. I cannot think of one time when he thought with his penis. He was also an intelligent man who often thought of how his decisions would affect others before he acted upon them. And, on edit thanks to BlueJ, who thinks they personally know us, he knew what his very last decision would do to me. Thank you.

[BlueJac]

5. Not true.....

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Completely true, BlueJ

I know exactly what you're getting at and he knew, and shared with me, exactly what that action would do to me. Wanna go deeper with this?

[Hawkeye-X]

12. Hey - no way I would ever bash you.

I'm just reporting on what my mom told me this afternoon.

I know you miss your husband very much, and I'm always thinking about you!

Hope you're all right! :hug: :hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

21. I wouldn't bash you, or your mother, ever Hawkeye...

Not ever. I'm sure she is a wonderful woman.
We can all have our different opinions, or so I thought.

[Taverner]

13. I agree with you - - sort of

I would ammend the statement by saying "Men think with their penises - especially powerful men - but they don't have to"

Some powerful men can rise above this

Some can't - but they are great leaders in their own right

I know I will catch some flames by saying this, but Clinton and Kennedy thought with their penises, and it almost killed both of them. But there was some great results we had from those two.

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. That, I can completely agree with, Taverner.

[Taverner]

17. But again - I don't think ones personal life should diminish their professional life

The two should always be seperate

And in a perfect world, they are

[ScreamingMeemie]

25. That is where we disagree. It was his public office that he used to

express his disdain against and then prosecute those who were guilty of the exact same crime he is. There's the problem. Again, it is not the sex.

[Taverner]

29. I do take issue with that - - but again, it is a law that should not be

Prostitution has been with us as long as there has been money

It will be with us until we stop

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. But, at the time he made his comments, it was the law. I don't agree

with it, necessarily, either, but it was/is the law. He cannot be above a law he upheld and even worked for more wiretapping abilities to enforce. There's the problem.

[XemaSab]

87. I'll do you one further:

Prostitution has been with us since BEFORE there was money.

[cboy4]

32. Hello Mrs. G!!

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

34. Hey cboy4...

:hug: miss you.

I'm coming to cali in July I think.

[cboy4]

38. Keep me posted!

:bounce:

[ScreamingMeemie]

39. I will!

[Binka]

65. If You Are Going To Be Near Sonoma County (60 miles north of SF) Please Let Me Know

I could take you on some private wine tours, my family is in the biz deep. Or we could just take a trip to Bodega and see the coast. I would love to show the beautiful Sonoma County I know and love. Hugs MrsG. I do not know what happened to MrG, I was off DU during my own family melt down at that time, but I hold you close in my heart for all the love you gave me when Ben was near death.
:loveya:

[ScreamingMeemie]

71. I will definitely let you know where all we end up.

:loveya:

I have to visit my brothers but I'm sure I will have a lot of time.

[TahitiNut]

100. Well said, luv.

If there's one thing I've seen in my years, it is that people tend to select a mate/partner according to their own characterization of what makes that person a "real male/female." Women I've known who regard all males as "dickheads" tend to only find some appeal in "dickheads." After all, if he's NOT a "dickhead" then he's not a "real man" in their preconception. Likewise, men I've known who regard all females as "sluts" have tended to only find appeal in such women ... most often to their chagrin. We tend to get what we ask for.

When we possess a positive and loving regard for that gender to which we're attracted, we tend to find ourselves in healthier relationships.

Of course, I say this with some degree of perplexity, since it seems to indicate some failing in my regard for woemen, since both of my marriages ended as a result of my partners' adulterous behavior. Despite introspection, I have been unable to detect where I've failed to have that positive regard, partly since the majority of my long-term friendships are with women. Perhaps that's why I haven't stepped up to bat again ... it just isn't in the cards. It's a mystery.

[Lex]

6. That don't have to, though. They *decide* to.

nt

[Fresh_Start]

7. with 50% of spouses being unfaithful

(and I'd guess a higher percentage of bf/gf being unfaithful) the problem is not limited to powerful men
and truth be told many of them are tangling with someone of the fairer sex so the female of the species in not doing so well either

[redqueen]

88. Thank you.

Reading stuff like the OP... which makes it seem as if it's something that's inavoidable and seems to point the finger at men... it's so damaging, IMO.

It sets men up with a "hey, I'm just a guy!" excuse for nurturing weaknesses of character. And it sets women up with a negative attitude about men in general, and a false sense of superiority.

[MrSlayer]

8. The big head always wins out over the little head for me.

Now back when I was an unattached kid playing in my band things were different. But I've always been faithful to my wife despite many, many temptations these past 15 years.

[skooooo]

9. your mother said that ???

Really?

[Hawkeye-X]

23. Oh yes, after I just got back to my parent's after a long day work-related outing

and asked me if I heard about Spitzer. I told her 'yes' and she made that comment. In front of my dad who happens to be a powerful man in his own right, and I actually agree with Ms. Grumpy and Taverner's modification of the comment.

[InAbLuEsTaTe]

11. That's ALL men and the ones that deny it are liars. It's the way nature intended.

[Lex]

16. I do NOT think men have to give in to it. They *decide* to.

nt

[InAbLuEsTaTe]

107. I agee. The brain does have an "override" feature, but there is a noticable lag period.

[cboy4]

36. OMG, do you sound like a fundie.

:eyes:

[misanthrope]

55. No, because "fundies" don't believe in natural selection.**nm

**

[InAbLuEsTaTe]

108. You sound like a [DELETED].

[awoke_in_2003]

58. "It's the way nature intended"

At one time, yes. During the same time, if someone came to your cave and tried to steal your food, you killed him with a club. Civilization entails using logic to overcome our base emotions.

[Binka]

66. Kiss! Big Smackaroo! You Rock! Solid!

Sorry for all the exclamation points with the Valley Girl innuendo, but I was cheated on big time with someone I loved and trusted, and actually had a baby with at age 42. It was a kick to my solar plexus that still hasn't healed. You are a good man. Kudos. Cheers. Hurray.

And this asshat apologized after I caught him in many lies, but at that point who the fuck cares? Asking for forgiveness after committing egregious acts is just cowardice. He never would have said shit except he got caught.

You make me believe in honest men again! But I will be single until my daughter is raised. She is my priority.

:loveya:

[awoke_in_2003]

156. Sorry to hear that, Binka

Men are definately pigs. I was severly tempted once. The girl was super sexy, and I know it would have been good. Then my main head started working right, and I couldn't imagine hurting my wife in such a way, destroying years of trust she had given me. My love for her is what stopped my caveman from taking charge.

[laylah]

159. I could have been so lucky to

have had a man with your "big brain" awoke. I ADORED the father of my children, when we met, the only two boundaries I had were DO NOT LIE and DO NOT FUCK AROUND. If you want to, fine, but leave first. After over 20 yrs, and two children together, I guess he forgot...his affair (the one I KNOW of) lasted three years! YOU, sir, are the epitome of integrity in my mind! :hug: You give me hope. Thank you.

[awoke_in_2003]

165. Truth is

to this day I still feel guilty for even considering it. I am married to a wonderful, hard working woman- and am damn lucky.

[lukasahero]

74. Best. Post. Ever.

"Civilization entails using logic to overcome our base emotions."

Thank you for stating it so succinctly.

[redqueen]

89. Thank you.

Funny how some primitive behaviors are excused and even encouraged.

[Zookeeper]

138. I don't buy it. And it hasn't been my experience.

That meme is an excuse for men to cheat.

[Bluebear]

14. Paints a picture of a wonderful mother-son talk

:silly:

[Journeyman]

18. All men have two heads -- one big, one little -- but blood enough for only one at a time. . .

and that's where the trouble originates.

[redqueen]

90. That's not true of course... just an attempt to rationalize

hurtful, damaging, stupid actions.

[Journeyman]

109. It's also a joke. . .

but don't let that get in the way of your ideology.

[redqueen]

111. Ideology? Sorry for responding to your 'joke' in a serious way...

it wasn't clear it was a joke.

[silverweb]

19. Generalizations about people are often very unfair...

...and unjustified.

[melody]

20. Do strong women think with their vaginas?

Generalizations are always wrong and unfair.

[mondo joe]

22. Men and women just tend to live their sexuality differently. Men think like men, women think

like women - and there's overlap too.

[flvegan]

24. Men may *think* with their penis at times, but they decide with their brains every time.

At least real men do.

It's the decision that matters. I can think of how I'd like to do this or that, but the final call comes from the big head.

[cboy4]

26. That is a sexist remark.....and as a guy who grew up in a

house with two sisters and a mom, there's nobody who is more protective of women than me.

But to generalize and say that men think with their penises is sexist.

If someone argued something about women and "it must be their time of the month" to justify poor behavior, I don't think that would go over too well.


on edit...typo

[Iris]

40. well said!

[redqueen]

91. It's a very sexist remark. And a counterproductive attitude in general. (nt)

[Zookeeper]

139. Bingo! Thank you, cboy4. n/t

[Demobrat]

27. Considering what they're willing to risk for sex.

The trust in their marriages, love of their children, respect of colleagues, their health, even their lives, it sure is hard to argue with that.

[KamaAina]

28. Which would explain why Bush** never thinks at all

:P

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. I, so very much, needed to smile.

Thanks.

[KamaAina]

47. Glad I could be of assistance.

Really.

[originalpckelly]

41. Now that's a damn good joke!

:rofl:

[bonito]

33. Just Dickheads by definition n/t

[Jed Dilligan]

35. I don't know what "think with your penis" means

On the one hand, I agree that nearly all men have sexual urges--but of course that excludes those who for medical or psychological reasons are lacking in sexual desire. And I can see a psychological eunuch rising to a very powerful position--quite easily, in fact.

On the other hand, if it means doing things beyond one's rational mind's control because of overwhelming sexual desire--no, I don't think even half of men are subject to that. Maybe it's linked to high testosterone and aggressive competitiveness, which would make your mother's aphorism make some sense.

[GOPisEvil]

37. Thoughts don't have to equal deeds.

It's still a choice.

[laylah]

160. Thank you

GOP..:hug:

[BlooInBloo]

42. (snarfle) *All* men think with their willies...

... Except possibly for a measure zero set.

Too bad it was him. I suspect we'll have to endure a few more political hits, as the Khan - I mean Bush administration dribbles out the last spite within it, towards the end.

http://firedoglake.com/2008/03/10/some-questions-about-the-spitzer-incident

[BoneDaddy]

168. Another

irrationality from another woman.(snarfle)

[kimmylavin]

43. Think it was Woody Allen who said...

"God gave man a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to use one at a time."
He would know...

[HooptieWagon]

44. My Theory: A finite blood supply

excess blood to one part of the body causes a shortage in another part of the body - usually the brain.

[Generic Brad]

45. Powerful men wish they had powerful penises

But, alas, they do not.

[TheCowsCameHome]

46. Bush proved that theory wrong - A dickhead incapable of thinking

[angrycarpenter]

48. We are all slaves to instinct

Our logic is only an outgrowth of the need to breed and eat and protect successfully.

very few women or men think logically. Having the correct knee jerk reaction does not make it logical.

The instinct for sex and territory is at the basis for everything we do.

[Lex]

51. Nope, humans have a rational brain and control of urges

if they want to, unless they have psychological problems or something.

[angrycarpenter]

62. The instinct to appear attractive to the opposite sex

Is why we have anything. We built fires to keep the women warm. We built towns and cities to protect the women. We bathe and dress nice to attract women. We work very hard to have a nice house so that a woman might want to live there.

We say that we do all of those things for civilization and art and science but we really do all these things so that girls might like us.

[redqueen]

94. Decisions still come from the big brain.

So what if the desire to reproduce drives other desires...

[XemaSab]

93. That's an illusion

When a mother runs into traffic to save her child, is she thinking about it?

If you're thinking about food at dinnertime, is that something you can ignore?

When you're scared and you scream, do you think about it beforehand?

When a sexually attractive person smiles at you, do you choose to feel butterflies?

There are things in life that are outside rational control.

[redqueen]

95. Are you putting cheating on your partner on par with a mother endangering her life

to save her child?

The desire to cheat is not cheating. Sure, everyone has desires - not just men - but acting on them is something else.

[XemaSab]

113. No, I'm saying that the idea that humans are totally rational creatures

who think about everything they do.... it's just not true, and you're fooling yourself if you think that.

Fear, sex, food, family... these are things that have been part of us since LONG before we were human, and applying logic to these things doesn't always happen.

Which isn't to excuse cheating, BTW. But it happens a LOT, and I think in Gov Spitzer's case we should just give him a slap on the wrist and move on with our lives. :shrug:

[redqueen]

115. Even when I was starving on the street, I couldn't bring myself to steal.

I don't think I'm fooling myself at all.

[XemaSab]

118. Have you ever tried to go on a diet and just FAILED?

:shrug:

If so, why did you fail?

:shrug:

[redqueen]

121. Eating on a diet is in no way analogous.

You're not breaking anyone else's trust in you.

It's much easier (and less destructive) to go against our better judgment when someone else isn't going to be hurt as a direct consequence of our actions.

[XemaSab]

123. I think it's analogous in that

if you're on a diet, and someone says "Here, have a cookie," you know you shouldn't eat the cookie, but your rational brain is not always making the decisions. Smoking is another example of something where the rational part of your mind is just not part of the equation.

You're totally right, cheating is hurtful, and in this case... a hooker? That sounds like some serious premeditation to me. :(

I just feel like there's a nasty puritanical streak to some of the judgement that denies that we're all human and we all have human urges we're not in control of.

[redqueen]

127. I'm so very far from puritanical... but we do have control of our urges.

Unless one is making a case for lack of guilt (responsibility) for one's actions due to mental illness... we are in control.

[XemaSab]

132. "we do have control of our urges"

I know I have control of MY urges, but the bottom line is this: I've seen too many men make fools of themselves to extend other people the benefit of the doubt. :P

(Or on edit: maybe I don't :P )

[redqueen]

136. Yeah... but just because people do stupid things doesn't mean they're helpless

victims of their body parts.

It's just a cop-out. We all do things we regret... even hurtful things... but to try to avoid taking responsibility is dangerous. Not only do you increase your own chances of doing it again, but anyone who witnesses the process gets the message that it's all right, cause you can't help it.

[XemaSab]

141. That's where I'm behind you 100%

If I cheat on my diet and eat a cookie, I'm going to have to take responsibility for it.

If I cheat on my SO and screw a hooker, I have to take responsibility for that too. :)

[Lex]

147. so when a guy decides to call up a hooker for sex

then that's the same as eating when you are hungry? or screaming when you are scared?

That's laughable.

[Zynx]

148. I've had the urge to harm people that offend me, but I rationally subdue it.

There are plenty of instincts that we can and should control.

[LanternWaste]

75. Our capacity for both higher learning and rationalization

Our capacity for both higher learning and cognitive, self-aware rationalization are more than enough to deny ourselves the gratification/satisfaction of meeting instinctual wants/needs as the decisions arise.


(Paraphrase from Biological Anthropology: The Natural History of Humankind by By Craig Stanford)

[redqueen]

92. Instinct does not lead to action, unless one chooses to act on it. (nt)

[Blue-Jay]

49. Penis!

Penis!

Penis!


PENIS!

[BlooInBloo]

52. penis? penispenispenis. Penis.

[Blue-Jay]

54. peeeeeeee......

NIS!

PENIS!

[BoneDaddy]

162. Vagina

Vagina...vagina. All hail the vaginas'

[Donnachaidh]

50. no offense, but your mother evidently hasn't spent much time around intelligent men

Totally ludicrous statement. Almost as bad as the *women get so mental at -that time of the month-* comment stupid men use to marginalize women.

There are plenty of men out there who DON'T obsess about their penises or *think* with them.


We only hear about the obsessive, possibly emotionally NEEDY ones who really just WANT to get caught.

Geez -- can we drag out a few more old stereotypes here? Someone's been watching a few too many commercials - not all men are into Beer, Viagra and Nascar. :silly:

[Lex]

53. It seems to let men "off the hook" for their decisions regarding sex

which is ludicrous.

[redqueen]

96. Bingo! (nt)

[Extend a Hand]

56. There are lots of different kinds of betrayals of trust

some are sexual and some are not. Some are worse than others. Some are the result of some fundemental character flaw in the betrayer. Some are retaliatory. Some are a lapse in judgement. It seems to me that a a private sexual betrayal often gets blown way out of proportion in the public eye and morphs somehow into a betrayal of the public trust.

I guess I don't really see Spitzer's action (or Bill Clinton's for that matter) as a betrayal of the PUBLIC trust. It's a private matter for he and his family to deal with.

I'm not moved by the 'but it's ILLEGAL' argument either. So is speeding but who hasn't been in a hurry at one point or another and ignored that law? EVERYONE breaks the law sometimes.

So to answer you question, I agree with your mother in part. There are SOME men that 'think with their penises' i.e. they are willing to risk their reputation, income, and marriage for a sexual fling.

[Blue-Jay]

57. Penis?

[ScreamingMeemie]

59. I am moved by the part where he showed public disgust over the

crimes of those he was prosecuting...the very same crimes. That's where I am moved by it all. This is no Clinton White House affair. This is a man, with power, sending people away for the very same thing he was accused of. Yes, that moves me.

[Extend a Hand]

69. That kind of hypocrisy IS more offensive

I didn't realize that he was prosecuting individuals for prostitution.

[Extend a Hand]

70. That kind of hypocrisy IS more offensive

I didn't realize he was prosecuting individuals for prostitution.

[redqueen]

97. Thank you.

It's a private matter for everyone, sure. UNLESS you made it a priority in your job to hold others to a different standard on the very same issue... then it becomes a very serious matter of public trust.

[laylah]

161. I agree

a brazillion percent Mrs. Grumpy! By jove, I think you've got it:silly: I think of you and the kiddos often and hope all is well, or at least getting better :hug:

[malaise]

60. The phrase I used earlier is:

Man with hard dick 'have' soft head - Confucious.

Sex rules the world

[Elwood P Dowd]

61. The poor penis has the worst life of any body part.

A penis has a head but no brain.

A penis has an eye but cannot see.

A penis hangs around with a couple of nuts.

A penis has an asshole for a neighbor.

A penis only has one friend and it's a .....

[DireStrike]

63. Hmm, how can I impress some chicks by posting here?

I can't? Time to move on!

[BoneDaddy]

167. If you are talking about the self neutered boys

who want to appease their angry mommies in here, I couldn't agree more.

[DireStrike]

169. woah, that sounds frighteningly familiar

glad I can recognize it now =p

[Kat45]

67. My mother said: All men are pigs.

[Echo In Light]

77. So, by default, according to her postulation, women are attracted to pigs/pig-ish behavior

[BoneDaddy]

166. Your mother was a bitter sexist

woman who needs to get over it.

[Prefer]

68. My penis is a genius

so there

[ThomWV]

79. Mine's dumb as a stump (pardon the pun) but overall, a pretty good fellow.

[Karenina]

72. Platitude from the late '60s

A stiff cock knows no conscience.

[redqueen]

98. Stiff cocks aren't separate entities. They are attached to men with brains. (nt)

[Karenina]

145. How well those brains function

while saturated with testosterone is a matter open to debate. :rofl:

Where's your sense of humour, redqueen? :silly:

[redqueen]

146. Sorry... on this subject, and in this forum, it goes right out the window!

:P

If I were in the Lounge it'd be a different story... but here, about this... I can't bear to see any primitive-behavior-enabling lie given even an iota of credence.

[BoneDaddy]

134. Wow another "feminist"

hypocrite.

[Perry Logan]

73. This explains the limpness of most Republican thinking.

Not to be mistaken for limpidity.

[varkam]

76. Well, my penis didn't get accepted to law school.

At least, I don't think so :rofl:

[lonestarnot]

78. An exercise of monetary dominion and a "man's world."

[Ordr]

80. Was your mother Valerie Solanas?

n;t

[lumberjack_jeff]

81. This is subjective. But more to the point, it's a stereotype.

It is a stereotype which is no more or less offensive than this;
The economics of prostitution

According to the economist authors of the linked article, all sex is a transaction. Wives are have done the math and have decided that life long earnings of marriage offset the short term earnings of prostitution. Further, the reason that hookers earn so much is to reflect the value of the alternative. "Combine this with the fact that marriage can be an important source of income for women, and it follows that prostitution must pay better than other jobs to compensate for the opportunity cost of forgone-marriage market earnings," Edlund and Korn conclude.

It does a disservice to reasonable discussion to promote these stereotypes. For every powerful man who is thinking with his little head, there's a claim-jumping woman looking for gold in proven locales. In other words, men who lack power don't think any differently than those with, they just have fewer offers.

[redqueen]

101. Wait...

"men who lack power don't think any differently than those with, they just have fewer offers."

Are you disputing the OP, or saying it's not just powerful men who blame their body parts for their bad decisions?

[lumberjack_jeff]

152. Two points:

1) the inherent stereotype (that people are defenseless against their hormones) is objectionable. In this sense, I'm "disputing the OP".
2) to the extent that the stereotype has any basis in reality, it's because a powerful man is more attractive, not because he's less morally fit.

In the case of Gov Spitzer, he got caught because he pissed off the wrong people.

The basic unasked question of the OP "are powerful men pigs to a degree greater than the normal garden variety man-pigs?" Is intriguing.

Is it reasonable to assume that powerful men are frequently married to women who are attracted to powerful men? Is it reasonable to assume that the wife has the cultural/sexual/social coin to catch one? If so, is it plausible that, given the suspect motivations which brought the couple together, once married they find they don't have much in common except their view that their partner is an exploitable resource?

Given what brings these couples together, I'm not surprised when one of the partners no longer brings their resource to the table, the relationship ends.

My view is that there are exploiters among both genders, and that they're concentrated in the marriages of the powerful.

[redqueen]

154. Gotcha, and agreed on all points.

Thanks. :)

[BoneDaddy]

170. Jeff thank you so much

for that incredibly brilliant view.

[Javaman]

82. No, actually men think with their testosterone. Which in turn is based

upon our genetic makeup.

[redqueen]

102. What? No, you think with your brain.

Women have testosterone, too... just less.

[Javaman]

110. That's true, but I just listened to an amazing account of what

testosterone will do to the body.

It was a recent episode of This American Life, entitled "testosterone".

Give it a listen and be amazed.

[raccoon]

83. Hey, I want some popcorn! nt

[Annces]

85. They probably said the same thing in the Cave Men days

Some things never change.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

86. I disagree

People thing with their hormones, regardless of gender..

Some large percent of fathers are raising kids that they *think* are theirs but are not (I want to say 20% but I cant for the life of me find the number..

[redqueen]

104. I think that's the right number. And you can't think with hormones.

We think with our brains. All the excuse-making in the world won't change it.

[NeedleCast]

99. I disagree but only fundamentally

However, there's some truth there. Being a "powerful man" often makes it easier to attract women. When there are a steady supply of women willing to sleep with you, I think it takes more and more will power to avoid that temptation. Not really what happened in Spitzer's case...he was paying prostitues.

To an extent though, yeah, a lot of dudes make decisions based on whether or not it's going to get them laid. Some of those decisions are pretty mundane and don't effect much. Some are much more damaging.

[XemaSab]

103. I didn't used to think this

but virtually EVERY SINGLE man I know, smart, dumb, it doesn't matter... has made a REALLY stupid decision at one time or another about sex.

Men are virtually incapable of making rational decisions some of the time.

[redqueen]

105. I disagree.

IMO it's PEOPLE who make irrational decisions some of the time. A lot of the time, those irrational decisions are fueled by emotions - which are by nature irrational.

[XemaSab]

114. I'll buy that...

:toast:

[redqueen]

117. Heh... it goes for women, too...

no more fawning over macho tough guys. :hi:

[XemaSab]

120. Eh, I like the skinny, nerdy ones

:P

[redqueen]

122. I really do think it's evolution.

We needed big strong fighty men to protect us in the caveman days.

Now we need THINKERS!

:bounce:

[XemaSab]

125. On the other hand, there's a certain... robustness...

about Howard Dean that I don't have a problem with. :D

[Echo In Light]

163. Mmm...maybe. Don't necessarily relegate the gift of emotion as "irrational"

All too human...

[BoneDaddy]

130. Wow you are one sexist

person. "Men are virtually incapable of making rational decisions some of the time".

And women are capable of making rational decisions MOST of the time? What kind of crap are you peddling. My guess is you have an agenda and a chip on your shoulder against men the size of Texas. Time to get over it and grow up.

[XemaSab]

144. I'll tell you what's behind this:

A couple months ago this married dude I know totally, randomly showed up at my door in the middle of the night trying to score.

I asked him later "What the hell were you thinking?" and he said "I totally wasn't thinking at all."

I like the guy, and mean no disrespect, but if your dick's taking you across town in the middle of the night, there's something wrong with your decision-making skills.

[redqueen]

155. Yikes...

still, though... it's not his penis's fault. It's his own. He did something stupid, and there's no excusing it.

Yikes.

[BoneDaddy]

157. But what you fail to see is that it isn't his "maleness"

or penis or whatever you want to call it that controls him. It is the lack of him not being able to manage his needs or desires that is the problem. I don't know his deal. But for you to make an all or none judgement about all men is ridiculous.

I do not judge all women by experience with one woman. If I did, I would have no faith in women based upon some of the pathology I have experienced. But whereas I do not deny some of the pathology in men, I do not deny some of the same, and different pathology in women.

Who knows what your "married friend" was going through. His relationship with his wife may suck, he may be sick (physically or mentally),he may have thought that he and you had promise through a misperception of his, etc... Or he may be an sociopath. But regardless of what he is, it doesn't deserve to be codified in all men.

[lumberjack_jeff]

153. If you replace "sex" with "relationship" could you not say the same about women?

Everyone makes mistakes. I find it intriguing that men make sex mistakes, while women make relationship mistakes.

[redqueen]

106. I disagree very strongly, and think that's the kind of counterproductive crap that has to stop.

We can't evolve until we stop rationalizing primitive behavior. That's all she's doing.

Not all men blame their body parts for their bad decisions. Not all women do, either.

[earth mom]

112. I think it's a matter of ethics.

Sure, men react to visual stimuli, but if a man was raised to REALLY know the difference between right and wrong, he's just not going to cheat or lie or steal.

He's going to have higher standards in the kind of people he wants in his life and how he wants to live his life.


My parents weren't religious whatsoever but they were big on ethics and it's really shaped my life and outlook.

I found a great hubby who is very similar to my dad-very ethical and just an all around good guy. I am very grateful I found him.


I don't have respect for men who cheat or for wives who "stand by their men" when it happens. Or vice versa.

It sends a message that cheating is okay and also a message of desperation. And that is just unacceptable to me.

The bottom line is that you should have the self esteem to want better than that kind of treatment for yourself and refuse to allow it in your life, period.

[madokie]

116. Yep and every time I let my little head think for my big head I screw up

every. single. time.

[Dorian Gray]

119. I disagree

I think it's an unfair generalization about men.

[Fire Walk With Me]

124. I have small, fleeting thoughts.

But I make up for it with valiant tongue-lashings of all opponents.

This post is about politics.

I'm going back to the Lounge now. (Hangs head in shame, moans and shuffles off..)

[ismnotwasm]

126. No they don't

I believe they are encouraged and pressured from birth to come across that way. Who among men is going to get praise for saying "Hey, you know what, I'm just saving myself for marriage" (Outside of Promise Keeper types that is) or "Sex really has to have meaning for me" Who among men is going to be respected for saying "Hey, don't talk about her like that, she's more than tits and ass" (Or whatever conglomeration of body parts) Things like that.

One of the things I've found about being a feminist is that I believe men are fully capable of controlling themselves sexually. No "brain below the belt" excuses from me.

I'm married to a man who respects women and cherishes me, as I cherish him. He understands the lack of respect many men have for a woman's sexuality, but never has bought into it. He finds it disgusting. And he is by no means, "A Prude"

(And we're both agnostic just in case it matters. He leans more toward belief, and I lean more toward atheism)

Edit; There have been studies on prostitutes and powerful men. Many of them like SMBD, and and are NOT the Doms. Makes me wonder about power hierarchies and sexuality.

[BoneDaddy]

128. Women don't think

How is that for a generalization? I really don't believe that but tire of the generalization of men by women who have a chip on their shoulder.

So yes, I disagree with your mom.

[VelmaD]

133. ah...the soft bigotry of low expectations

I get really tired of these silly rationalizations for men's bad behavior. He (assuming we're talking about Spitzer here) fucked up. He is to blame. Not his genitalia. Not his hormones. Him. He decided to do this and to place the blame on his having a penis just absolves men of any responsibility for their actions.

Frankly, I'm pretty tired of sexist stereotypes being hurled around about both genders at the moment. But this idea that men cannot control themselves...it's ridiculous. It's like we never expect them to grow up and take responsibility for what they do. Well, I personally have higher expectations than that...and I have no doubt that men can live up to them. (And yet, despite that fact that I think men are more than walking testes, I'm the "man-hater".)

[redqueen]

137. Thank you.

Very well said.

[theboss]

135. That's a cop out and an insult

Men are not primitive animals.

I also think you are underestimating how much thought and rationality goes into cheating. This wasn't a case of a guy getting drunk at a bar and banging a divorce in the back of his Celica.

This was a complex transaction.

[LanternWaste]

140. I disagree...

I disagree. I rarely use my penis when I write a critique or tally payroll. Although I can't for certain say it be the same were I powerful, I imagine I still wouldn't have the capacity to think with my penis to attempt a particularly tricky parallel parking job...

That being said, I imagine that most people (male and female alike) will sacrifice critical thought and analysis for the heat of a heady moment at particular times in our lives.

[jaysunb]

142. I don't have any power, but....

:rofl:

[Orsino]

143. Powerful men don't have to listen to anyone *but* their penises.

But the least of us is occasionally tripped up by same.

[Fuzz]

151. I don't, it is a powerful advisor though.

;)

[Mike03]

158. Personally, I think abuse of power is a sign of weakness, not strength.

That is not even a judgment on your mother's premise, which historically would tend to make sense. A lot of people in power have abused that power. The more interesting question is What is Power? One of my favorite books is "Power Vs. Force" by David Hawkins, who argues that what we habitually call Power is actually egotism and force.

We can buy anything, but the art of life is to fulfill ourselves without exploiting others to enlarge our own opinions of ourselves. That way of existing is so pathetic; it cries out "Deep down, I'm weak" even though they may wave the hundred dollar bill in someone's face.