Women of DU: Would you stand by your man?

[NightWatcher]

Poll question: Women of DU: Would you stand by your man?

I was watching Mrs. Spitzer and she looked so bad as if she had been crying. I feel so bad for her.

Would you stand next to your lying, cheating, whoremongering husband or leave his ass high and dry?

[jdlh8894]

1. Maybe-

the hooker was for HER and he's falling on the sword?

[Mojorabbit]

2. Depends on the man

and our history together. They have been married a long time and she probably knows his weaknesses of character. Each person is unique. I'd have to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship as a whole, whether he has agreed to therapy, how contrite he might be, etc.

[emilyg]

21. Exactly.

[Ellen Forradalom]

25. What you said.

[frazzled]

3. There was a good op-ed from Gov. McGreevey's ex-wife today about this

in the NYT. She said, essentially, that she did not know about her husband being gay or having this relationship until an hour before the press conference. She was so dazed and confused that when they told her to appear at his announcement, at his side, she didn't even know what she was doing. She said what were they trying to save anyway? He was going to have to resign and end his political career. But she said it should be the woman's choice whether to stand there or not. They shouldn't ask her to: Let the Man Stand Alone. (Or with his wife, if SHE so desires). And stop putting the focus on the wife.

[k8conant]

4. Depends on if you care if he comes or goes now

[TechBear_Seattle]

5. I'm a gay man, so I think I'm qualified to answer

I don't require monogamy, but I DO require that my partner's boy-/girlfriend and any "inimate playmates" be people that I know and trust and who are aware of the primary relationship between my partner and me, and that we have all sat down and discussed safer sex issues and other related topics. In that context, how could I not stand by my man?

Outside of that, I would definitely leave his ass high and dry, as there should be absolutely no reason for him to hire professionals, make anonymous pickups or otherwise go behind my back.

[Kittycat]

6. No. Ask my ExH

[liberal N proud]

7. Here is what my wife would say...

She has stated that if she found out I was cheating, she would stay with me just to make my life a living hell.

[RB TexLa]

8. I think this is one of those things that someone really has to be in the situation to give a

definitive answer. You hear too many "I'd kill the bastard," or "I'd kill the bitch," statements that don't translate into homicides for me to believe people can know what they would do.

Just my thoughts.

[Reader Rabbit]

9. My response would involve violence, probably.

And then I'd go to jail. :(

[margotb822]

10. And it's not that you don't trust him,

But, that he won't trust you. He might feel that he gave you a free pass to "get some in return." Like Chris Rock said, it's a "get some dick free" card.

[pansypoo53219]

11. firstly, i wouldn't stand next to him.

if it ever happened, he would be black and blue.
then divorce his ass.

[zorahopkins]

17. "Black and Blue"??

"he would be black and blue"???

Surely you do not mean that you would engage in any sort of domestic violence?

(I hope)

[ismnotwasm]

12. Nope

Monogamy isn't a requirement or even natural for me. In my case it's a mutual agreement.

If either of us should stray, it would cause deep emotional pain, worse for him, because he's more naturally monogamous than I am, but for me as well.

But we've made a commitment, and we do periodic checks with each other over the years. There need be no surprises.

A betrayal like Spitzer's, especially a public one, I'd shitcan him in a minute. Not so much because I'm territorial, although I am, but because of the hypocrisy and deliberate hurt it would cause. Why would I stay with someone like that? What other values has he lost?

[hedgehog]

13. Stand by him? I'd be curled up in a fetal position in a hole somewhere....

[SmokingJacket]

14. My husband's the greatest guy in the world.

BUT I'd kick him to the curb in second.

I'd definitely take him back if he showed the proper remorse later.

But I can't imagine just standing by him and "supporting him" -- sheesh, not even for my kids.

[MissDeeds]

15. My biggest problem would be

which piece of him to stand by. The piece over here, the piece over there, the one over there...

[SoCalDem]

16. NOT A CHANCE n/t

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. We actually had this "What if..." type of conversation once.

My thoughts, at that time, were that it depended. If it had been a one night stand, one time only, perhaps I could get over it in time. Forgiving but never forgetting. If it had been an affair, where a time period and feelings were involved, I was not sure if I could. So who knows what I would have done. At this moment, I would give anything to have him back. I would put up with anything to have him back, so I guess one really doesn't know what one would do. Never in a million years did I think I would be doing this.

[kineneb]

19. I hear you

and understand the pain.

I am watching Hubby die slowly from congestive heart failure, and renal failure. He has gone from being a hearty 200+ lbs to 135 lbs. He has to use a walker and sometimes needs help dressing himself. He just had his 61st birthday.

I would love to see him whole and healthy again. All other details could be negotiated.

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. I am so sorry. Life should never be like that.

Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts.

[WinkyDink]

20. Never. No can do.

[girl_interrupted]

22. Think we can all learn something from David Vitters wife

She was going to "Lorena Bobbit" him...remember? I think it's easy to say things when you are not in that position. Personally I think it depends on the relationship. Marriage is complicated, so many factors to it, love being among one of them, children another. I think if a spouse if truly sorry, I would forgive him, because there is more to our relationship than that. People aren't perfect, I know, I'm certainly not and we all make mistakes. "To error is human, to forgive is divine". I just wouldn't put myself in the position of judging how other people deal with their own marriages. And perhaps because these are public and not private lives, it makes it even harder to decide how to handle it.

[EFerrari]

24. Of course. I'd stand with any member of my family in trouble.

That's what families do.