Just learned my friend's 23 yr-old son killed himself this morning. When will we get back to caring

[williesgirl]

about each other? I think of how divisive our country's leaders are and have been for quite some time now. Trying to keep all of us living in fear of terrorists and other bullshit. The rich getting richer at the expense of the middle/lower classes. Folks having to work so many hours to just keep a roof over their head and food on the table. Medical bills thru the roof pushing many into bankruptcy.

While * and his cronies are certainly the worse offenders, our own party isn't much better. Look at the infighting right now in our party and even on this forum.

It's time to get back to the basics that made this country great. People caring about others as well as taking care of our own. Neighbors helping neighbors. Just knowing your neighbor would be a good start.

My heart is breaking for my friend and her ex-husband and daughter. Her kids grew up with my daughter and were like my own. I can't imagine her pain right now. I lost my husband almost 8 years ago. They all helped us through that horrible time. Of course we'll be there for her now. I moved away from the neighborhood 4 years ago and have to travel to get there. I'm just sorry I'm no longer right across the street from her. My daughter is on her way there to be with her friend.

Sorry for rambling but wanted to share this with my friends here. We need to stop fighting with each other. We may have differing views on who should lead this country, but there are better ways to express ourselves than what we've been doing.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. I am so very sorry *huge hugs and lots of prayers*

[xultar]

2. Sorry to hear of your loss. I've heard of many attepted suicides in the past few days.

WOW, look in on your friends and family people.

[Breeze54]

3. I'm so sorry but I'm sure his family and friends did care. Don't you?

What were his reasons for taking his own life? Did he leave a note?
People who take their own lives are usually suffering for personal reasons
or personal demons and not due to social injustices, except for the Iraq Vets.
I'm sorry your friends and you are going through this and I'm sorry he sought
a permanent solution to a temporary problem. :(

[reggie the dog]

20. social injustice plays a role

it makes some people feel guilty, and it makes it easier for others to slip through the cracks. Also a society where you are judged by how much you can buy, combined with an economy in which children will never live as well as their parents leads many to dispair.

[flamingyouth]

4. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss and for you as well.

How terribly sad. :(

[lightningandsnow]

5. I am so sorry.

You are absolutely right.

[DinahMoeHum]

6. Goddamn.

You and your friend need some good hugs right now.

:hug: :grouphug: :hug:

[xchrom]

7. Peace be with your friends and with you now at this difficult time. nt

[OnceUponTimeOnTheNet]

8. I am so sorry for your families loss of a old time young friend.

The word Suicide, just pisses me off, it fails to appreciate just what has happened in many families across this Nation. There is so very much more to it. Suicide seems to be a disease in our age. Young Male Adults today, have a freaken hard time getting a job w/ decent wages, to say Nothing about Marriage, a House, and Kids.

I worry about our young males futures. I lost a nephew to suicide, he was only 22 and he was beautiful and brillant.

[williesgirl]

9. Just got back from seeing my friend. She's devastated. Thanks for your support.

[Xenotime]

10. So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the suffering.

I too wish we could get back to the way things were. When our basic needs like healthcare and social security see a real change. Then people will start to turn around.

[Vadem]

11. I am so sorry! Peace and rest to you and your friend!...OMG! ..n/t

[ivycat]

12. i'm so sorry to hear this.

about a month ago, a friend of mine committed suicide. I know what you must be going through right now. both you and this young mans family are in my prayers.

[BlueIris]

13. I'm so sorry to hear this, GPV. nt

[BuelahWitch]

14. That's so very young

I'm sorry you and your friend are hurting. :hug:

[cboy4]

15. Ughh., Gut-wrenching.

23.

:cry:

[cboy4]

16. Ughh., Gut-wrenching.

23.

:cry:

[donheld]

17. I'm so very sorry

:hug: Suicide sucks bad! I know.

[barbtries]

18. i'm so sorry

peace. go hold up your friend. i cry for her family and for her

[reggie the dog]

19. I never knew the USA you describe

"It's time to get back to the basics that made this country great. People caring about others as well as taking care of our own. Neighbors helping neighbors. Just knowing your neighbor would be a good start."

I never knew a USA that gave a damn. I am 29. That is one of the main reasons I never came back to the USA after a year in France. People still care more about others over here.

[tavalon]

25. At twenty nine, I don't doubt that you never saw it

I've gone the route of chosen family and while it has been huge work, it reaps huge benefits. I'm glad you found a place where people are more human.

[reggie the dog]

26. what do you mean by

"chosen family"? I am interested to know what that is all about. What kind of benefits do you reap? I took the easy way out and left, you seem to be helping make America a better place and I am interested in knowing how you are going about doing it.

[tavalon]

28. Just carrying on the proud tradition made famous by the hippies in the sixties

though many an intentional community started well before that (think Oneida, etc.) The number of people I live with communally has gone up and down through the years (I'm currently down to myself, my hubby and our child and that is weird, weird, weird! I haven't lived in such a "traditional" situation in over a decade!) We have a more extended family that gets together once a week for family dinner (this includes the family that we just separated households with but there is no acrimony - it just wasn't a good fit) and these are people that, while they don't live with us, are available for assistance when needed. When someone falls on hard times, we are all the safety net. I know I can rely on them and they know the same of us.

There is a book out there called the Intentional Communities directory which lists probably around 1000 intentional communities. Some are very structured, some less so, like ours. Some include polyamory, many, if not most, do not. I and my partners are polyamorists, so generally, if a person moves in, it is after a long term relationship has been established by one or more in the household. Since we have a child, we are much more careful about having people move in, though our kid is pretty darn flexible about it all. He loves the extra attention. His biomom used to live with us but in the last year, she moved about two miles away, but she's over here plenty so kiddo gets lots of mommy attention (having two mommies can, of course, be a royal pain in the ass, but it can also rock).

Two out of my three partners have parents who are very supportive. The other set is amazingly good at avoiding the kind of questions that would elicit answers they don't want to hear. I myself am an orphan, so I don't have issues with blood relatives.

I wish I could say this makes America a better place, but honestly, we're pretty darn insular and we don't wear it on our sleeves, we just live it happily, so we're really just changing our tiny little spot in the world.

[rateyes]

21. Damn.

:cry:

[usrbs]

22. I am so sorry for you and your friend

I can't even imagine how devastating it is to lose a son to suicide.

Your friend is lucky to have your family for support. She'll need it. And I think you're right that this society has something to do with it. So little warmth and community.

Peace.

[DangerDave921]

23. You know what

Suicide is usually the result of a major depressive disease that is totally unrelated to politics. A more caring nation (whatever that means) would not have saved this poor young man. He was deeply ill. And that is not fixed by a call to stop fighting with each other so much.

What a terrible loss. But let's see it for what it is -- a disease. Not a result of any national psychology.

[tavalon]

24. That young man's pain is over, but the pain that his family will carry is going to last a lifetime

My hubby and I have survived three attempts by our now ex-wife. I know it doesn't compare, but there are scars and pain that still come up. Had she succeeded in any of these attempts (her last one being three weeks ago), the pain and the scars would be tenfold and she isn't our child. My heart goes out to this family. Children should never, ever go first, and most especially by their own hand. Mental illness is so stigmatized in our society when it should be helped, just as heart disease and diabetes are. And yes, I think our fucked up consumer society really stokes the epidemic of mental illness.

Please be there as much as you can, even when it feels like you are not being able to help one bit (and any platitudes that come to mind should stay in your mind. No platitude will ever do anything but drive a wedge between you). Just being there, being a fair and silent witness, even if you're uncomfortable, is such a help. Be there this week, this month and continue it for at least two years and by then, the thought of not being around them won't even occur to you, hopefully. Let them rage at you, let them beg you to take the pain away, even though you can't, just let them be as real with you as they can. It's very, very uncomfortable to be with parents during this time but it can save more lives. Death of a child is the most devastating thing ever, death of a child by their own hand is worse by tenfold.

I'm so, so sorry.

[reggie the dog]

27. Obama and Clinton supporters have lots in common

it is evident in this thread, we must not forget that

[Festivito]

29. There's not much one can say. This song came to mind.

...
I buried my Mama and I buried my Pa
They sleep up the street beside that pretty brick wall
I bring them flowers about every day
but I just gotta cry when I think what they'd say

If they could see how the sun's settin' fast
and just like they say nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye
but hold on to your lover
'cause your heart's bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can't you see the sun's settin' down on our town, on our town goodnight
...

OUR TOWN (Iris DeMent)
(c) 1992 Songs of Iris/Forerunner Music, Inc. ASCAP

If you must say goodbye, and you must, then say it with family and friends.

You're a good neighbor, just to be there, and here, in our town, goodnight.