The Natural - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Thu Mar-27-08 08:52 PM
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The Natural

As we ponder the Obama presidency, thoughts naturally turn to major appointments – Vice President, Secretary of State, Secretary of Defence – jobs that will require personnel who have the appropriate experience and expertise to fulfill the overwhelming responsibilities that each office represents.

At this tenuous juncture in our relationship with Iraq and its people, surely we recognize that one of the most important positions to be filled with be that of US Ambassador to that war-torn nation – and what more natural choice could there be but our own George W. Bush.

Who else has a better understanding of the needs of this fledgling democracy than the The Great Liberator himself, a man who has devoted thousands of soundbytes, hundreds of photo-ops, and billions of US taxpayers’ dollars to the “Noble Cause”?

One can only imagine the sweets ‘n’ flowers greetings at the airport, as Ambassador W sets down on the tarmac, able and willing to start his new life among those whom he has “freed” from tyranny.

After a brief but moving ceremony – some “harmless hazing” of George involved, just for fun! – at Abu Ghraib, Ambassador Bush will be whisked away to his new home, the US Embassy in Bagdhad, a billion-dollar fixer-upper that will be made ship-shape in no time, just as soon as he finds the billions of taxpayers’ dollars that went missing on his watch.

No doubt Laura and the girls will enjoy living under the oppressive conditions that Iraqi women now face, while Grandma Babs delights TV audiences here at home with quotes about how “they’re really better off now”, and things are “working out” for them just fine.

As President Obama starts pulling US troops out of the country, George will be free to really get out there and mingle with the locals – maybe buy a $5 rug at the local marketplace of a Saturday afternoon which is now, thanks to him, as safe as strolling through a state fair in middle America.

Given the incredible responsibilities that Ambassador W will face, selecting the right staff to accompany him will be paramount to this mission being accomplished. But having so many Iraq experts to choose from – Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, et al – the task will undoubtedly prove no more difficult than clearing brush.

Once settled in, Ambassador W can extend invitations to his pals Kristol, Perle and Wolfowitz for lengthy visits. Surely they will want to get a firsthand look at the fruits of the their labors in having encouraged the liberation of the Iraqi people – just as the Iraqis would no doubt enjoy the opportunity to get up close and personal with the architects of their current freedom.

Of course, there is the added bonus that while they’re all there, they can keep a much closer eye on Iran – and maybe even finally find those WMDs.

It’s a win-win situation for everyone.