Gore will announce candidacy as Independent!

[peabody71]

Once More for Gore?
Gore will run for president as independent, sources tell Grist

You might want to sit down for this: Al Gore will announce his candidacy for president this week, knowledgeable sources tell Grist. Now there's an inconvenient truth for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Gore believes the two Democrats and Republican John McCain aren't giving climate change the urgent attention it deserves, so he's decided to go for the job himself, say Gore advisors who requested anonymity as they aren't authorized to speak to the press. A lifelong Democrat, Gore will run as an independent this time around, aiming to show the American people that climate change is not a partisan issue. He is expected to tap New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, also an independent, as his running mate. On Monday of this week, Gore's nonpartisan Alliance for Climate Protection launched a new public education campaign aimed at convincing Americans that climate change is both urgent and solvable. We're guessing that will be the thrust of Gore's presidential campaign as well.
http://grist.org/news/2008/04/01/april_fools/?source=daily

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. April Fools

[Flying Dream Blues]

2. April Fool's? nt

[Grateful for Hope]

3. Right in the link

april fools

[nxylas]

4. Might be a little more believable if...

...the link didn't actually contain the words "April Fools" in the URL :hi:

[jobycom]

5. Another source for Bill Sammon to use against Gore.

"Democratic Party leaders begged Al Gore to reconsider his decision. A tearful Hillary called him at his energy-sucking home in Tennessee, interupting a $1000 a plate charity barbeque which boasted several endangered species, to beg him to reconsider. Barack Obama went further, hiring a band of ghetto youth to attack the former Vice President and threaten his children. Petitions were begun, desparately imploring the meglomaniacal Gore to abort his plans and give the ideals he had so long fought for a chance under a different candidate. "Please don't split the vote!" they begged. "Please, please, please don't help the Republicans to win again!

"Gore responded with a videotaped message, holding a rib of rhinocerous meat, rare, with blood dribbling down his pudgy chin and staining his earthtone hued sweater. "I don't give a rat's ass about the country!" he screamed. "It was my election and they stole it! Now they will pay!" His purple-blotched face twisted from rage to a chilling laugh, as bits of endangered flesh spewed from his mouth.

"Finally, according to thirty-six anonymous sources that I promise really exist and are very reliable and might have sort of even been in the know, Bill Clinton had to step into the fray. He showed Al Gore pictures of his children, and promised to slaughter them all. When that failed to move Gore, Bill explained to him that Gore would be "disposed of" before the ballots were printed if he did not back down. "You know me, Al. You know what we've done together. Do you doubt me?"

"On April 2nd, Al Gore backed down, pretending it had all been an April Fool's joke."

Bill Sammon, "How Al Gore Tried to Destroy the Entire World and Kill a Lot of Little Babies and Endangered Animals and Lots of Other Really, Really Bad Stuff"