White House Staff Welcomes End of Long Winter

[LeftHander]

WASHINGTON D.C. - Sources inside the White House are breathing easier as the long winter comes to a close and temps begin to warm in the capitol city. One unnamed staffer said "And not too soon we were out of dining room furniture and were goin' to start chopping up the balustrades next if this winter kept up. We started in on the State Dining room as Mr. Bush really never used it anyway so no one would notice the missing chairs at first. When we told him about it he said burn it. It was Clinton's anyway. That's what we did. Chopped it up and burned it in the first couple's fireplaces. That is what we did with most of furniture in storage too. There ain't much left."



The Clinton refurbished State Dining Room now in ash bin of history and behind the White House.

The White House still utilizes heating oil for the bulk of the heating during winter months. During the Bush administration the unpaid bills with Patterson Home Oil Co. peaked in mid 2007 and resulted in service being cut off. Billing Manager from Patterson Home Oil said they finally had to shut the White House off and send the bill of $3,450,029.16 to collections. "In all my years and administrations I never seen bills as high as those cold blooded Texan's racked up. They just turned their noses up at our attempts to work with them so we had no choice but to cancel service. No one else in town wants to touch them. Their credit is no good everywhere it seems."

(courtesy of LeftHander's warped head)

[DCKit]

1. You forgot all them "oil" paintings of old, dead Presidents. n/t

[SpiralHawk]

2. And the Constitution.

The republicons have trashed that as well, hating America as they do, furthering the misbegotten cause of their totalitarian Republicon Homeland.

[DCKit]

3. That's what they're using for TP. n/t