== All the president's liars = By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Fun new game! Which TV news "military expert" is really a whore for the Bush administration? (Hint: all of them)

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/04/25/notes042508.DTL&nl=fix

Did it work? Were you duped?

Were you calmly and methodically and rather nefariously led to believe that maybe, just maybe, the situations in Iraq and Afghanistan and Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib and the rest, right along with tales of soldier suicides and torture and staggering civilian body counts and the utterly disastrous Bush military policy weren't really all that bad after all?

Did you watch any CNN or Fox News or MSNBC, lo, these past five or six years, listen to the pundits and ponder the wise, informed comments of all the military experts the networks brought on to discuss Iraq policy, then conclude that maybe this war, this appalling invasion might actually be positive, that maybe the surge is working and torture ain't all that bad and the democracy is taking root and America is proud and perky and victorious once again?

Did you believe any of it? Because oh my God, they sure as hell worked us over like a rabid dog works a hunk of gristle. ...

[L. Coyote]

1. NO, I did not believe. I do not listen to their crap. I know a campaign when I see one.

Cheney's Heart Attack or Politics as Usual.

After a massive coronary, Cheney is met at the pearly gate. "Welcome," says St. Pete. "We seldom see such a high political official. My order from on high is have you spend a day in Hell and one in Heaven, then you choose where to go."

With that, suddenly Dick is in Hell on a green golf course surrounded by all his friends and other politicians in evening attire. Everyone is very happy, they greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good old times getting rich at the expense of the middle class. Cheney's first White House boss, Nixon, hosts a $10,000-a-plate dinner in his honor. They dine on lobsters and lots of caviar, smoke cigars, and toast him with the finest champagne. Even the Devil is very friendly, telling great jokes, and complimenting Cheney's earthly works, especially his warfare as Secretary of Defense.

After 24 hours, suddenly Dick is in Heaven with heads of state, floating from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, praying occasionally, singing hymns, and praising the Lord. Some heads of state criticize his bellicose life and American arrogance, and there's no humor. A day later St. Pete says, "Now, choose your eternity."

Cheney answers, "I'll go to Hell. All my friends are there, even a new one. They have a better clubhouse, and I just love golf. And the food and jokes are better."

Suddenly Dick is in a very hot, barren desert covered with waste, garbage, bombed buildings, and the stench of corpses and burnt oil. His friends are all dressed in khaki military garb, packing M16s and M60s, and bleeding from wounds and missing limbs. The Devil hands him an automatic weapon, grenades, K-rations, a 60 lb. pack, and other gear, and says, "Welcome to Iraq. You'll be here for an eternity."

"I d.. d.. don't understand," stammers Dick. "Yesterday there was a.. a golf course and club house, and.. and we ate lobster and caviar, and danced, and.. and.. and you told great jokes. We even became friends. Now, I'M in the.. the GOD DAMN war?? Go fff.. fu.. FUCK yourself"

The Devil smiles and answers, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"

[Octafish]

2. Great column. Should be read by every citizen of the United States.

Wish I saw this sooner. This read deserves a lot of Kicking & Recommending.