"Freedom Fiscal Freefall" is Good for America, says Bush

[Ichingcarpenter]

Washington, DC - "America is not heading for a new Republican Great Depression," said George W Bush today, "We are flying into a glorious Freedom Fiscal Freefall."

"Our exports are strong," he went on, "We've exported more jobs during my term than ever before. This means we can buy more t-shirts from slave labor camps in China, which is good for all Americans because who wants to see old guys like me without a shirt on!"

"As a result of job exports and the falling dollar, the fiscal stimulus of my massive deficits and off-budget spending is freeing up a huge pile of taxpayer money that was being wasted on education, health care and infrastructure. It is naturally enriching our friends in Dubai and Beijing, igniting a rebirth of free spending. This may be a hardship in some small regions, like the Continental United States, but overall it is a benefit for my family and friends."

Experts agreed, "The basis of economic activity is jobs," said economist Karl Rove on Fox news, "And Job One is putting money into the pockets of the president's backers. They've invested a lot into the American political system, and expect a solid return on their investment."

[niyad]

1. dear goddess, for a second I thought this was an actual speech he had made.

we know he THINKS this stuff, but would he actually say it out loud?

I was telling a friend about a remark made by one of his economics team when the outsourcing of jobs became a major issue "outsourcing is good for our economy" I thought for sure it was one of the people from the Onion. sadly, it wasn't.
by the way, I am glad I wasn't drinking, you would have owed me a monitor.

[Ichingcarpenter]

2. "The terrorist win if we get rid of my tax cuts for the rich"

"Remember 911 is the sacrifice we had to make for high energy costs"

I know those are not real bushism but they could be.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

3. We're not heading into a depression - it's a Freedom Freefall

Let Freefall Reign!

[fed-up]

4. k & R nt

[NuttyFluffers]

5. close, but it needed gaffs and malapropisms to sell it to me

:P

but valiant effort!
:7

[DCKit]

6. I get a fecal stimulus every time I hear him speak....

Then I have to run to the bathroom and miss the impotent points of his speechifying.