Suggestions for attractions at Disneyland in Baghdad?

[ck4829]

The "Find the WMDs" maze - A long maze that ends up in a dead end

The "turning the corner" ride - A mystery tunnel that consists of four left turns

The Amazing Liberation Raft Ride - Depart from the time of Saddam with death and misery, and end up in the time of Maliki and US occupation with death and misery, but at least they're liberated, right?

[gateley]

1. K&R - Very clever! nt

[BOSSHOG]

2. the dick cheney shooting gallery

- The "Just six more months" roller coaster ride.

[leftofcool]

3. "The Stratergy".....no exit plans upon entering

[marmar]

4. Neocons of the Persian Gulf (as opposed to Pirates of the Caribbean)....

.... Imagine animatronic Bush and Cheney figures chasing barrels of oil around.

[IndependentDem]

40. lol

:spray:

[hobbit709]

5. The Jihad Game room

Where you can play video games and wipe out the occupiers in your neighborhood.

[lutefisk]

6. A good old fashioned "freak show"

Wolfie licking his comb, Perle simply staring his creepy stare, Cheney endlessly barking "go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.", William Kristol babbling naively deadly predictions, Chimpy falling down drunk yelling "Fuck Saddam", and on and on.

Bush, Inc. is one big freak show!

[Initech]

7. "The Surge" roller coaster

It works for about two days then it stops working, but the ride is continually reported to be working.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

8. Cakewalk Land

Where they pay Arab guys to throw flowers and candy at the neocon tourists who walk through a bombed out wasteland, so that neocons can have at least one pathetic taste of victory as they are charged exhorbitant prices for their orgasm. After that, they can go to Abu Ghraib Land and construct butt pyramids to renew their spent ardor.

[lutefisk]

13. The neocons already paid "the arab guys" lots of money, but it didn't work like that

I think they've given up the idea that anyone will be singing their praises or throwing flowers. Now they just pretend they never said any such thing and blame the mess on someone else.

[Ikonoklast]

9. Don't forget the delicious array of food and drink

You can have the liquid pollutant of your choice served up lukewarm in a dirty glass at the KBR Pavilion, taken directly from the Tigris River.

Talk about exotic!

Heavy metals, human fecal matter, coliform bacteria, and agricultural pesticide and fertilizer runoff all served in the same glass for only $42.00 a pop!

All subsidized by YOU, the American taxpayer!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

10. And don't forget the plastic turkey - mmmmm!

[Indenturedebtor]

11. 40 virgins ride?

Sorry couldn't help myself :hide:

How about "100 years" - a virtual trip into McCains Iraq

[hatrack]

12. How about "Pirates Of The Straits Of Hormuz"?

Maybe a cutout figure saying "You must be as tall as Moqtada to go on this ride!"

Or maybe a Halliburton Maze - visitors wander about, do little or nothing, but are then rewarded with large bags of dollars that fall on their heads from special trapdoors in the ceiling.

[Richard Steele]

14. Three seperate (but equal) "It's an Ethnically Cleansed World" rides. nm

[lpbk2713]

15. Uncle Dick's Shooting Gallery

Lawyers pay no admission.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

16. The Fallujah Flamer...Get on this spectacular ride that will take you through a miniature version of

Fallujah! Watch women and children burning to death from White Phospherous! All Aboard!!!!

[Richard Steele]

17. The "Honey, I Shrunk the Population" 3D experience. nm

[Dora]

18. AKA, "It's a Small World After All" nt

[Richard Steele]

20. The Mad Hatter's IED Party. nm

[Richard Steele]

23. "Mister Toad's Wild Ride to the Airport" nm

[alittlelark]

19. Baghdad Bumper Cars....don't hit those IED's!!!

[stevil]

21. Rendition..

..the ride!!!!

[Perry Logan]

22. Even the showers can provide quite a thrill.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

24. "Shock And Awe" Land

It's a one-way ride.

[Ikonoklast]

25. Abu Ghraib Chamber of Horrors

You get to pick out the prisoner of your choice, and torment them any way you see fit, sexually, mentally, physically!

Sodomy, waterboarding, stress positions, electrocution, sleep deprivation, you get to choose! Great fun for the whole family!

And we have a dead prisoner guarantee, if they don't last at least an hour, you get another one to torture or your money back!

And free 'tips' from 'civilian advisors' on how to make it last longer!

Just think, the screams, the begging, the feeling of absolute power over another human being!






Dick Cheney personally signs off on each session, so no worries about any legal 'stuff'.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

26. John McCain Land - the ride lasts 100 years

or you could name it "Tomorrow After Tomorrow After Tomorrow Land".

[Yavapai]

27. The light at the end of the tunnel is in your rear view mirror ride.

...and the ticket for this ride only costs 9 billion a month!

[mr_hat]

28. "Pirates of the Arab Region"

[Bozita]

29. I can just imagine what the Iraqi version of "The Whip" is like.

I'll bet it's a real life-altering experience.

[Speck Tater]

30. Waterboard land. (nt)

[jberryhill]

31. The Hall of Impeached Presidents /nt

[struggle4progress]

32. "Bottomless Pit Jump"

As you stand at the edge of this big deep hole and wonder How far down is the bottom? and Is there a way to get back out once you're in?, a neocon pushes you in

[DAGDA56]

33. "Are you brave enough to ride...

THE QUAGMIRE!"

[smoogatz]

34. The Wonderful World of Oil

Tour a futuristic Hall of Oil in an up-armored Humvee! See computerized simulations of the $22 trillion dollars Iraq's oil resource is currently worth (and counting!). Watch your own bank account shrink over time as the price of oil rises. Enjoy an imaginative 3-d film rendition of a future world in which only the very rich can enjoy the benefits of oil. Visit Mickey's Shrine to the Fallen, the thousands of brave American heroes who gave their lives so the U.S. could ensure its access to all that fabulous Iraqi oil! Admission is free, but visitors will be required to pay the current price (in dollars, dammit!) of a barrel of oil to get out.

Abu Ghraibland

Torture real Iraqi prisoners, including women and children! Plenty of "terrorists" to beat, kick, stomp, waterboard and sodomize! High-spirited, all-American fun!

[crimsonblue]

35. Don't forget the restrooms..

they're a buzz!!

[Ian_rd]

36. The War Rationale Rollercoaster! Twists! Turns! Loop d'Loops! Oh My!

[Ian_rd]

37. The Contract Money Grab!

You can dress up in a Halliburton uniform and stand in a plexiglass booth and grab as many 1 millions dollar bills as you can before liberal America-haters end the war.

[Brundle_Fly]

38. DEAD ENDERS Haunted House.

Last Throws roller coaster.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

Any Haunted House has to have an animatronic Richard Perle lurking in the shadows

He's so kooky and spooky.

[Ian_rd]

39. The Flowers and Candy Dodge!

[Downtown Hound]

41. The George W. Bush Flight Simulator!

It's like Star Tours, only you don't actually do any flying, even simulated flying, but you do get to dress up in a cool flight suit with socks stuffed down the crotch and proclaim yourself conquerer of all.

[AwakeAtLast]

42. Carnival games - "Guess which glass of water is not tainted?"

The prize? Why, bottled water, of course! :D

[IDemo]

43. Maze of Mousapotamia

[Jed Dilligan]

44. Hourly Saddam hanging re-enactments.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

45. The Torturer's Apprentice n/t

[struggle4progress]

46. Archaeological Treasure Smash

Destroy ancient relics from the dawn of civilization!

[MiniMe]

47. Wheel of Misfortune

[pfitz59]

48. Mr IEDs' Wild Ride

Be the first one to survive!

[Doctor Cynic]

49. Spectacular fireworks every night delivered by Apache helicopter

[NuttyFluffers]

50. the Endless Star Tours of Duty

the riders are repeatedly "stop-loss"ed until they throw up or suffer debilitating injury.

Captain OIL -- with 3-D glasses!
Dick Cheney dresses up like Michael Jackson and thrills the audience with a 3-D movie where he dances and saves the day.

the New People Mover, now using gas-powered lawnmower engines!